Games
.
A
Alice: Madness Returns (PS3)
7.5/10
The art in this game is really cool. The plot is also really cool.
The only problem is that the gameplay, though beautiful, is very repetitive.
Also, said gameplay isn't even remotely original; just another action-adventure deal, but really awesome-looking and creative.
Tl;dr: actual gameplay is boring. Storyline and graphics and such is awesome.
The art in this game is really cool. The plot is also really cool.
The only problem is that the gameplay, though beautiful, is very repetitive.
Also, said gameplay isn't even remotely original; just another action-adventure deal, but really awesome-looking and creative.
Tl;dr: actual gameplay is boring. Storyline and graphics and such is awesome.
B
Batman: Arkham Asylum (PS3)
9/10
This game was fucking amazing. It's Batman, for Christ's sake. JUST PLAY THIS ALREADY YOU DIPSHIT
This game was fucking amazing. It's Batman, for Christ's sake. JUST PLAY THIS ALREADY YOU DIPSHIT
BlazBlue: Calamity Trigger (PS3)
7/10
I'll start off by saying that the intro alone is one of the most kickass things ever. There may not be that much fighting or whatever- but any game with an intro that's entirely anime has got to be awesome. But, anyway. The storyline is surprisingly intricate- you have to completely beat it with all of the characters to totally understand it. So, it had a great plot, especially for a fighting game. There was a small amount of characters compared to other fighting games, like Tekken or Marvel vs. Capcom 3, but that's okay, because each of them was intricately designed. Again, about the art- each character is completely hand-drawn, to every last sprite, so it makes the graphics look amazing, even for a 2D fighter. The controls are, in my opinion, pretty awesome too. The characters all have a different style of fighting, so there's really a character for everyone. It was very fun to play as well, which is a must in games, and the moves, although a bit low in number compared to some other fighting games, could be used in different orders creating new combos for each individual. All-in-all, it's a pretty great fighting game, and I'll give it a 7. (Jin Kisaragi, Rachel Alucard, and Arakune for the win.)
I'll start off by saying that the intro alone is one of the most kickass things ever. There may not be that much fighting or whatever- but any game with an intro that's entirely anime has got to be awesome. But, anyway. The storyline is surprisingly intricate- you have to completely beat it with all of the characters to totally understand it. So, it had a great plot, especially for a fighting game. There was a small amount of characters compared to other fighting games, like Tekken or Marvel vs. Capcom 3, but that's okay, because each of them was intricately designed. Again, about the art- each character is completely hand-drawn, to every last sprite, so it makes the graphics look amazing, even for a 2D fighter. The controls are, in my opinion, pretty awesome too. The characters all have a different style of fighting, so there's really a character for everyone. It was very fun to play as well, which is a must in games, and the moves, although a bit low in number compared to some other fighting games, could be used in different orders creating new combos for each individual. All-in-all, it's a pretty great fighting game, and I'll give it a 7. (Jin Kisaragi, Rachel Alucard, and Arakune for the win.)
C
D
Darksiders (PS3)
8/10
Dead Rising 2: Off the Record (PC)
8/10
This game was faaaaaaan-tastic.
This game was faaaaaaan-tastic.
Dead Space 2 (PC)
7/10
This game is scary.
But it's so fun. You get to curbstomp the zombies after you kill them to get ammo and stuff! Yeah, that's right--curb. Stomp.
It's pretty great.
This game is scary.
But it's so fun. You get to curbstomp the zombies after you kill them to get ammo and stuff! Yeah, that's right--curb. Stomp.
It's pretty great.
Devil May Cry 4 (PC)
8/10
This game is so cool. I love Devil May Cry. So much.
This one is a new character, which isn't really a bad thing, the graphics are beautifully rendered, and it added a new gameplay element. Just look at that arm. Seriously.
Anyway, this game is fun. A good addition to the series.
This game is so cool. I love Devil May Cry. So much.
This one is a new character, which isn't really a bad thing, the graphics are beautifully rendered, and it added a new gameplay element. Just look at that arm. Seriously.
Anyway, this game is fun. A good addition to the series.
Duke Nukem Forever (PC)
7/10
I don't care that a lot of people hated it, I still liked it. Also, he quotes things, and this game completely won me over when a military officer ran into fire first and was killed and Duke said "Dammit, Leroy."
So, yeah, it's fun. I don't like that many FPSs, but this is one of the few that have earned my approval.
I don't care that a lot of people hated it, I still liked it. Also, he quotes things, and this game completely won me over when a military officer ran into fire first and was killed and Duke said "Dammit, Leroy."
So, yeah, it's fun. I don't like that many FPSs, but this is one of the few that have earned my approval.
Dungeon Hunter (iPhone)
7/10
Dungeon Hunter is an iPhone game about some king whose wife dies. He tries to bring his wife back to life, and succeeds, but she turns evil and does something-or-other to him and he goes to sleep for some time, and when he wakes up, the kingdom is "plunged into darkness"! Ooh! Which, unfortunatelly, doesn't really make any sense, because all it really seems like is that there are monsters in the graveyeards and sewers and there are some bandits. Bandits are normal, and nobody ever really has to go into the sewers (which somehow exist in medieval times?), and graveyards also weren't really big hotspots in medieval times either. So, personally, I don't see the real problem here... But whatever, I still have to go save the kingdom and all.
We'll start out with the gameplay, which is pretty normal for an iPhone game. Tap a button on the right to attack, tap a button on the right to block, and tap one of three buttons on the left side to cast one of three spells, which you can choose from a large-ish array and upgrade accordingly. Movement is also virtual-joystick-controlled, and usually is smooth, except when you get smudges on your screen, but that doesn't really count. The amount of spells chosen and the amount of upgrades are limited, though, so be wary of which ones you pick. Some are more useful than others in certain situations. There's also a button to use a fairy, which is an interesting inclusion in a game. You pick one of a few different fairies, which each have an element, and when you use them, they attack enemies with that element. It's usually pretty cool-looking, too. So in total, it's got pretty solid controls and options. ... For an iPhone game.
Other than that, the game is still surprisingly good. The graphics are alright, for an iPhone game-- somewhere above Nintendo '64 quality. The plot is also alright, for an iPhone game... Just working your way up through repetitive boss battles with the dark queen's henchpeople until you get to the next one and eventually the queen herself, and running around rescuing a bunch of fairies. It's a bit repetitive, but sometimes you have an assistant fighting girl to help, and the environment changes as you move throughout the game. Also, it's always fun to see a boss die because of your epic sword and magic combos after trying unsuccessfully for a while to beat said boss. Plus, you can collect various armor items, trying to have good stats while also looking kickass. I tend to like fantasy games with that quality.
... And this isn't an exception. I like it. It's not perfect-- the plot could use some serious work, for one thing-- but it was still good, considering it's an iPhone game. So, this gets a well-deserved seven.
Dungeon Hunter is an iPhone game about some king whose wife dies. He tries to bring his wife back to life, and succeeds, but she turns evil and does something-or-other to him and he goes to sleep for some time, and when he wakes up, the kingdom is "plunged into darkness"! Ooh! Which, unfortunatelly, doesn't really make any sense, because all it really seems like is that there are monsters in the graveyeards and sewers and there are some bandits. Bandits are normal, and nobody ever really has to go into the sewers (which somehow exist in medieval times?), and graveyards also weren't really big hotspots in medieval times either. So, personally, I don't see the real problem here... But whatever, I still have to go save the kingdom and all.
We'll start out with the gameplay, which is pretty normal for an iPhone game. Tap a button on the right to attack, tap a button on the right to block, and tap one of three buttons on the left side to cast one of three spells, which you can choose from a large-ish array and upgrade accordingly. Movement is also virtual-joystick-controlled, and usually is smooth, except when you get smudges on your screen, but that doesn't really count. The amount of spells chosen and the amount of upgrades are limited, though, so be wary of which ones you pick. Some are more useful than others in certain situations. There's also a button to use a fairy, which is an interesting inclusion in a game. You pick one of a few different fairies, which each have an element, and when you use them, they attack enemies with that element. It's usually pretty cool-looking, too. So in total, it's got pretty solid controls and options. ... For an iPhone game.
Other than that, the game is still surprisingly good. The graphics are alright, for an iPhone game-- somewhere above Nintendo '64 quality. The plot is also alright, for an iPhone game... Just working your way up through repetitive boss battles with the dark queen's henchpeople until you get to the next one and eventually the queen herself, and running around rescuing a bunch of fairies. It's a bit repetitive, but sometimes you have an assistant fighting girl to help, and the environment changes as you move throughout the game. Also, it's always fun to see a boss die because of your epic sword and magic combos after trying unsuccessfully for a while to beat said boss. Plus, you can collect various armor items, trying to have good stats while also looking kickass. I tend to like fantasy games with that quality.
... And this isn't an exception. I like it. It's not perfect-- the plot could use some serious work, for one thing-- but it was still good, considering it's an iPhone game. So, this gets a well-deserved seven.
E
The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim (PS3)
10/10
This is the best game ever. If it wasn't so buggy I'd probably never stop playing it.
IT'S SO FUCKING AMAZING.
This is the best game ever. If it wasn't so buggy I'd probably never stop playing it.
IT'S SO FUCKING AMAZING.
F
G
Garry's Mod (PC)
7/10
Extremely fun when playing with friends.
Extremely fun when playing with friends.
Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (PC)
8/10
Well, if this game doesn't make you laugh at LEAST once, then you are a robot who should go take over the world with your huge lasers.
All joking aside, this game is hilarious. You can walk by people and hear bits of their conversations, (my favorite is "I know the location of every pulic bathroom in the city!") you can steal or mug pretty much whatever and whoever you want, (I stole a tractor from a cowboy once, then took $400.00 from his wallet) and you can bike faster than the cars can drive.
Get this game. It's comedic affect is like Jeff Dunham on steroids.
Well, if this game doesn't make you laugh at LEAST once, then you are a robot who should go take over the world with your huge lasers.
All joking aside, this game is hilarious. You can walk by people and hear bits of their conversations, (my favorite is "I know the location of every pulic bathroom in the city!") you can steal or mug pretty much whatever and whoever you want, (I stole a tractor from a cowboy once, then took $400.00 from his wallet) and you can bike faster than the cars can drive.
Get this game. It's comedic affect is like Jeff Dunham on steroids.
Guild Wars: Factions (PC)
9/10
I love this game. I just love it. The storyline is top-notch, just exceptional writing and such. The quests do get a little bit- and I mean this in the smallest way possible- repetitive around three quarters of the way through, but that's not a big deal. The graphics are the best graphics I've ever seen in an MMO- the same goes for the rest of the Guild Wars games, so far. The character customization was great- with a class, a sub-class, and hundreds of moves for each. I was a rare-item hunter at first, as I am with most MMOs, and my first character in this game was an Assassin/Necromancer. I wasn't very skilled at first- and I'm still just okay, even if I am the max level- but nevermind that. I just loved this game. And, here's the best part... Wait for it; it doesn't have a monthly fee or an extra cost for membership or whatever. Buy it once, install it, you're done. I'd recommend this to anyone who enjoys any games of this kind. (Since this is an MMO, there aren't really any characters that you should say "for the win" for.)
I love this game. I just love it. The storyline is top-notch, just exceptional writing and such. The quests do get a little bit- and I mean this in the smallest way possible- repetitive around three quarters of the way through, but that's not a big deal. The graphics are the best graphics I've ever seen in an MMO- the same goes for the rest of the Guild Wars games, so far. The character customization was great- with a class, a sub-class, and hundreds of moves for each. I was a rare-item hunter at first, as I am with most MMOs, and my first character in this game was an Assassin/Necromancer. I wasn't very skilled at first- and I'm still just okay, even if I am the max level- but nevermind that. I just loved this game. And, here's the best part... Wait for it; it doesn't have a monthly fee or an extra cost for membership or whatever. Buy it once, install it, you're done. I'd recommend this to anyone who enjoys any games of this kind. (Since this is an MMO, there aren't really any characters that you should say "for the win" for.)
H
House of the Dead 4 (arcade)
6/10
A mediocre storyline, but still a fun shooting game. The boss battles were a bit creepy, though, I must say. I wasted a lot of quarters on this thing- but that's because it's the only remotely fun thing at the arcade I was in at the time that I beat this. That said, it's still a pretty good zombie game; it just can't really compare with the Resident Evils I so dearly love. (The zombies for the win.)
A mediocre storyline, but still a fun shooting game. The boss battles were a bit creepy, though, I must say. I wasted a lot of quarters on this thing- but that's because it's the only remotely fun thing at the arcade I was in at the time that I beat this. That said, it's still a pretty good zombie game; it just can't really compare with the Resident Evils I so dearly love. (The zombies for the win.)
I
inFamous (PS3)
7/10
Fun to mess around with and for serious playing, plus a cool storyline.
Fun to mess around with and for serious playing, plus a cool storyline.
J
K
Katawa Shoujo (PC)
10/10
Yeah, I know it's a dating sim, and yes, I understand that it's only disabled girls, but just give it a try, and it's actually a great game.
...
Seriously, I actually fucking love this.
Hey, don't knock it 'till you try it. (And turn off the porn in the options... Unless you're into that, or whatever...)
Yeah, I know it's a dating sim, and yes, I understand that it's only disabled girls, but just give it a try, and it's actually a great game.
...
Seriously, I actually fucking love this.
Hey, don't knock it 'till you try it. (And turn off the porn in the options... Unless you're into that, or whatever...)
L
Left 4 Dead 2 (PC)
8/10
Well, this is a pretty sweet FPS. I seem to be discovering quite a few good ones lately... Maybe it's a sign.
They (by which I mean good FPSs) are still rare in my opinion, though, and this is one of them.
L4D2 is definitely pretty great--the mechanics are solid, there are plenty of options and campaigns, and I personally think that Valve (as is usual with them) did a damn good job.
Now go shoot up some zombies.
Well, this is a pretty sweet FPS. I seem to be discovering quite a few good ones lately... Maybe it's a sign.
They (by which I mean good FPSs) are still rare in my opinion, though, and this is one of them.
L4D2 is definitely pretty great--the mechanics are solid, there are plenty of options and campaigns, and I personally think that Valve (as is usual with them) did a damn good job.
Now go shoot up some zombies.
M
Magic: the Gathering - Duels of the Planeswalkers (PS3)
3/10
Oh, look, a video game based on a card game! Just what I've always wanted! ... Not. I think it's pretty safe to say that close to nobody will really give a damn about this game, and for good reason-- it has absolutely no point. I mean, sure, I can see why die-hard Magic: the Gathering fans will like it-- but it's just silly. Why would you waste money on doing something that you could do easily and comfortably in real life using technology? I mean, I guess I could see its usefulness if you wanted to play it with someone who lived in another country or a long way away-- but come on! The only other way I could see a reason to use it is if you had to go to a restaurant or something and didn't want to get your playing cards dirty or whatever-- but the thing is, this game isn't even remotely portable! And the worst part is that that's just the multiplayer mode. The single player campaign consists of mindless hours of card-playing against boring simulated opponents, which might be good if you're stuck by yourself and really want to play a card game with someone, but it just isn't fun that way to me. Also, you can't read the other person's facial expressions, which, I don't know about you, but has always been fun for me because I'm really good at giving a poker face, and most of the people I know aren't. So that right there takes away a whole element away from the game, for me at least.
Now, let's take a look at the gameplay itself. I think the most annoying part about this game is that it makes the whole deal way overly complicated. You have to press a bunch of random buttons to zoom in on a card and choose which card and look at what the card does and play the card... When it would just be infinitely easier to go outside and actually play the game with someone. I mean, come on. Normally, you just think "Oh, I'll play this," and you grab the card and play it. But now, this game forces you to spend a while zooming in on every card in your hand to see what it is because they're so small on the flipping screen. And then, once you've finally settled down on what you want to play, the timer runs out. Yeah, did I mention that? They time you on your turn, which means thinking up a good strategy is nigh impossible unless you're concentrating on it during the other player's turn. You can stop the timer for a time in multiplayer, but if you take too long then the other player usually quits. It's evil. And, if you wanted to go get a drink or something, there's not really a way to contact the other player unless you have a headset, which are usually pretty badly garbled in the game anyway. You could use the message feature, but then the people have to be in your friends list, which usually doesn't happen because most other people who actually would play the game are probably, oh, I don't know, actually playing it? *sighs* And that's not even the worst part. You start off with basically the worst Magic deck ever made, some wimpy forest starter that can only win if you're really good already. It doesn't let you scan your cards in, so you have to play through the boring campaign to get them! Really. And if you're a beginner, it's even worse. First off, you have to read the rules-- thirty-something pages of boring stuff that you can't really understand unless you've played a couple games already-- and you don't understand them. So, you go on a mode called "tutor" or something like that. You'd think it might be able to help, but I never got to try it since nobody ever wants to tutor so there's nobody online. So after reading all those rules, you go play a couple matches on boring old campaign mode, and decided to see if online is any better. Since you've beaten a couple of the campaign opponents, you feel like going to play online mode to test your skills against a real person. Suddenly, you join a group-- and you get completely destroyed. Get it straight right now, the only people playing the online mode are usually either noobs like you trying to play someone for the first time-- which is rare-- or complete masters. Which is a bit annoying, to say the least.
So, to wrap up: annoying controls, boring single player, impossible (unless you're a genius) online, and complete and utter pointlessness. If you're a glutton for punishment, or just really love Magic: the Gathering, then this game is for you. Otherwise, I'd say this is one you can chalk up to "never again".
Oh, look, a video game based on a card game! Just what I've always wanted! ... Not. I think it's pretty safe to say that close to nobody will really give a damn about this game, and for good reason-- it has absolutely no point. I mean, sure, I can see why die-hard Magic: the Gathering fans will like it-- but it's just silly. Why would you waste money on doing something that you could do easily and comfortably in real life using technology? I mean, I guess I could see its usefulness if you wanted to play it with someone who lived in another country or a long way away-- but come on! The only other way I could see a reason to use it is if you had to go to a restaurant or something and didn't want to get your playing cards dirty or whatever-- but the thing is, this game isn't even remotely portable! And the worst part is that that's just the multiplayer mode. The single player campaign consists of mindless hours of card-playing against boring simulated opponents, which might be good if you're stuck by yourself and really want to play a card game with someone, but it just isn't fun that way to me. Also, you can't read the other person's facial expressions, which, I don't know about you, but has always been fun for me because I'm really good at giving a poker face, and most of the people I know aren't. So that right there takes away a whole element away from the game, for me at least.
Now, let's take a look at the gameplay itself. I think the most annoying part about this game is that it makes the whole deal way overly complicated. You have to press a bunch of random buttons to zoom in on a card and choose which card and look at what the card does and play the card... When it would just be infinitely easier to go outside and actually play the game with someone. I mean, come on. Normally, you just think "Oh, I'll play this," and you grab the card and play it. But now, this game forces you to spend a while zooming in on every card in your hand to see what it is because they're so small on the flipping screen. And then, once you've finally settled down on what you want to play, the timer runs out. Yeah, did I mention that? They time you on your turn, which means thinking up a good strategy is nigh impossible unless you're concentrating on it during the other player's turn. You can stop the timer for a time in multiplayer, but if you take too long then the other player usually quits. It's evil. And, if you wanted to go get a drink or something, there's not really a way to contact the other player unless you have a headset, which are usually pretty badly garbled in the game anyway. You could use the message feature, but then the people have to be in your friends list, which usually doesn't happen because most other people who actually would play the game are probably, oh, I don't know, actually playing it? *sighs* And that's not even the worst part. You start off with basically the worst Magic deck ever made, some wimpy forest starter that can only win if you're really good already. It doesn't let you scan your cards in, so you have to play through the boring campaign to get them! Really. And if you're a beginner, it's even worse. First off, you have to read the rules-- thirty-something pages of boring stuff that you can't really understand unless you've played a couple games already-- and you don't understand them. So, you go on a mode called "tutor" or something like that. You'd think it might be able to help, but I never got to try it since nobody ever wants to tutor so there's nobody online. So after reading all those rules, you go play a couple matches on boring old campaign mode, and decided to see if online is any better. Since you've beaten a couple of the campaign opponents, you feel like going to play online mode to test your skills against a real person. Suddenly, you join a group-- and you get completely destroyed. Get it straight right now, the only people playing the online mode are usually either noobs like you trying to play someone for the first time-- which is rare-- or complete masters. Which is a bit annoying, to say the least.
So, to wrap up: annoying controls, boring single player, impossible (unless you're a genius) online, and complete and utter pointlessness. If you're a glutton for punishment, or just really love Magic: the Gathering, then this game is for you. Otherwise, I'd say this is one you can chalk up to "never again".
Mari0 (PC)
7.5/10
This is a glorious combination. The only downside is that. no matter how you're playing it, the controls will be awkward.
Seriously, it's kind of a pain, but the game itself is still amazing.
This is a glorious combination. The only downside is that. no matter how you're playing it, the controls will be awkward.
Seriously, it's kind of a pain, but the game itself is still amazing.
Marvel vs. Capcom 3: Fate of Two Worlds (PS3)
8/10
A very fun fighting game, with a lot of cool characters and moves. I like the battle system, the traditional 3-on-3 2D fight. Although, even if it is 2D, the opening/ending sequences of the battle are in 3D, and so is the battle itself- but the battle is only left, right, up down. 3D graphics, 2D fight. The storyline was pretty bad, even for a fighting game- but that's okay. Seeing Dante from DmC fight Wesker from Resident Evil made it all worth it. (Wesker, Dante, Chun Li, and Chris for the win.)
A very fun fighting game, with a lot of cool characters and moves. I like the battle system, the traditional 3-on-3 2D fight. Although, even if it is 2D, the opening/ending sequences of the battle are in 3D, and so is the battle itself- but the battle is only left, right, up down. 3D graphics, 2D fight. The storyline was pretty bad, even for a fighting game- but that's okay. Seeing Dante from DmC fight Wesker from Resident Evil made it all worth it. (Wesker, Dante, Chun Li, and Chris for the win.)
Metro 2033 (PC)
8/10
I'll say it again like I've said before--I can count the amount of FPSs that I enjoy on my fingers.
This one is definitely worth your time. The story is well-written and gritty, the gameplay is fun, and it's set in Soviet Russia. ... OF THE FUTURE, where you shoot mutants to survive in your subways where you hide from the radiation that poisoned the world.
Also, it stars a character named Artyom, and how much cooler of a name can you get than Artyom?
I'll say it again like I've said before--I can count the amount of FPSs that I enjoy on my fingers.
This one is definitely worth your time. The story is well-written and gritty, the gameplay is fun, and it's set in Soviet Russia. ... OF THE FUTURE, where you shoot mutants to survive in your subways where you hide from the radiation that poisoned the world.
Also, it stars a character named Artyom, and how much cooler of a name can you get than Artyom?
Mirror's Edge (PS3)
9/10
This is a pretty great game. Very inventive, very cool and sleek, and it's also really interesting. Definitely worth at least a playthrough.
This is a pretty great game. Very inventive, very cool and sleek, and it's also really interesting. Definitely worth at least a playthrough.
Mortal Kombat (PS3)
8.5/10
By far one of the best, if not THE best, fighting game I've ever played. It and MvC3 are definitely vying for the spot of "Best Fighter Declan-kun Has Ever Played". It's pretty gory, but that seems to be a plus what with all the epic action going on. Anyway it's a great game, especially for parties or when a friend is over. Arguing over the hottest Final Fantasy character? What about which is better, Coke or Pepsi? Then LET MORTAL KOMBAT BEGIN!!
By far one of the best, if not THE best, fighting game I've ever played. It and MvC3 are definitely vying for the spot of "Best Fighter Declan-kun Has Ever Played". It's pretty gory, but that seems to be a plus what with all the epic action going on. Anyway it's a great game, especially for parties or when a friend is over. Arguing over the hottest Final Fantasy character? What about which is better, Coke or Pepsi? Then LET MORTAL KOMBAT BEGIN!!
N
Naruto Shippuden: Ultimate Ninja Storm 2 (PS3)
6/10
A nice fighter. The graphics are amazing, and very slick and clean. The battle system is wonderfully smooth, flawless even. The story mode is a bit boring- except, however, during the boss-battle sequences. Those points, where you have to press certain buttons in time while watching the characters epically battle in the background? That is some serious eye-candy. Plus, for those who care, you can change the voices into Japanese. Pointless for some, but for others, it's very awesome. I'm one of the others, so... Anyway, great game. I will say, though, after a while, it gets a bit tiresome. But that's okay- it's still pretty good. (Sasuke (Taka), Tobi, and Itachi Uchiha for the win.)
A nice fighter. The graphics are amazing, and very slick and clean. The battle system is wonderfully smooth, flawless even. The story mode is a bit boring- except, however, during the boss-battle sequences. Those points, where you have to press certain buttons in time while watching the characters epically battle in the background? That is some serious eye-candy. Plus, for those who care, you can change the voices into Japanese. Pointless for some, but for others, it's very awesome. I'm one of the others, so... Anyway, great game. I will say, though, after a while, it gets a bit tiresome. But that's okay- it's still pretty good. (Sasuke (Taka), Tobi, and Itachi Uchiha for the win.)
O
P
Pokemon Snap (Nintendo '64)
9/10
I love this game. I mean, come on- how can you NOT love it? I've never played any other console games based on photography, and this it made me want to be a photographer when I was a little kid... It's just awesome, a complete classic in every sense.
I love this game. I mean, come on- how can you NOT love it? I've never played any other console games based on photography, and this it made me want to be a photographer when I was a little kid... It's just awesome, a complete classic in every sense.
Portal (PC)
9/10
This game is fantastic.
Seriously. I feel like I honestly don't even need to describe it because EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT IT IS.
But whatever. Here you go.
So, in "Portal", you play as a girl who wakes up one day inside a scientific facility for "testing". There is a robotic AI in the background, GLaDOS, who talks to you and is the creator of the tests.
Basically, you solve puzzles and tests with a portal gun (self-explanatory) trying to escape the facility.
It's a very short game.
But, it's still really amazing.
The gameplay is flawless--great animation, no glitches, fantastic controls and et cetera.
The writing is also great. Not much story here, but the dialogue of GLaDOS (and the turrets, which I'll talk of later) are both hilarious and heart-wrenching, depending on who you're listening to.
So, GLaDOS is the best character of all time. Seriously, she should get an award for best fictional character.
The turrets are things that shoot at you later in the game. They also talk to you. When you knock them over (the only way to dispatch them) they start saying things like "No hard feelings" and "I don't blame you". Depressing, isn't it?
Anyway, it's amazing. Go play it now, or we'll burn your house down. With the lemons.
This game is fantastic.
Seriously. I feel like I honestly don't even need to describe it because EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT IT IS.
But whatever. Here you go.
So, in "Portal", you play as a girl who wakes up one day inside a scientific facility for "testing". There is a robotic AI in the background, GLaDOS, who talks to you and is the creator of the tests.
Basically, you solve puzzles and tests with a portal gun (self-explanatory) trying to escape the facility.
It's a very short game.
But, it's still really amazing.
The gameplay is flawless--great animation, no glitches, fantastic controls and et cetera.
The writing is also great. Not much story here, but the dialogue of GLaDOS (and the turrets, which I'll talk of later) are both hilarious and heart-wrenching, depending on who you're listening to.
So, GLaDOS is the best character of all time. Seriously, she should get an award for best fictional character.
The turrets are things that shoot at you later in the game. They also talk to you. When you knock them over (the only way to dispatch them) they start saying things like "No hard feelings" and "I don't blame you". Depressing, isn't it?
Anyway, it's amazing. Go play it now, or we'll burn your house down. With the lemons.
Portal 2 (PS3/PC)
10/10
Pretty much the greatest thing ever. I'd give you some positive and negative aspects, but there really are no negative aspects except how much time you'll lose by playing it.
Pretty much the greatest thing ever. I'd give you some positive and negative aspects, but there really are no negative aspects except how much time you'll lose by playing it.
Q
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Resident Evil (GameCube)
9/10
Those new graphics, plus the original Resident Evil? I LOVE IT SO MUCH
Those new graphics, plus the original Resident Evil? I LOVE IT SO MUCH
Resident Evil 2: Dual Shock Edition (PlayStation)
8/10
Well, I really liked this game. It wasn't the most absolutely terrifically amazing thing I've ever played; but, I did really like it. The storyline is great, as long as you play all of the scenarios, and even if you don't, it's still pretty awesome. I like the controls, and the graphics were hilarious. And I don't mean good- I mean hilarious. The cutscenes' graphics were supposed to be 3D and good for that time, but since I'm used to newer games, it just made Leon look really stupid. But only in the cutscenes. My other big complaints were the voice acting and the cheesiness of the beginning. For example on the voice acting; Leon is talking to an injured police officer and the police officer immediately says "The zombies... They were... Because of... UMBRELLA." and when he said "umbrella", it sounded like they dubbed his voice over with someone else's because he said something else. It was hilarious. For example on the cheesiness- the first person Leon meets is this fat guy who owns a gun shop. You walk in, and he points his gun at you and yells "FREEZE!" then, you tell him you're a human, and he walks toward you, and says "Hold on." and then he locks the door. My question is, why exactly wasn't his door locked in the first place? Seriously. But anyway. Then, Leon asks him "What happened to this place?" The man, whose face is obscured by the bad graphics, said "I don't have a clue. Before I even realized anything was wrong, the entire city was infested with zombies." So, let me get this straight- your city was destroyed in a zombie apocalypse... And you didn't even notice it happening? Failure! ... But, it seemed like all I'm doing is complaining. Don't judge this game by that. It was a relatively easy game, but it was very enjoyable nonetheless, and I'd recommend it to those of you who like a game of this sort. (Leon S. Kennedy for the win. Sherry for the loss.)
Well, I really liked this game. It wasn't the most absolutely terrifically amazing thing I've ever played; but, I did really like it. The storyline is great, as long as you play all of the scenarios, and even if you don't, it's still pretty awesome. I like the controls, and the graphics were hilarious. And I don't mean good- I mean hilarious. The cutscenes' graphics were supposed to be 3D and good for that time, but since I'm used to newer games, it just made Leon look really stupid. But only in the cutscenes. My other big complaints were the voice acting and the cheesiness of the beginning. For example on the voice acting; Leon is talking to an injured police officer and the police officer immediately says "The zombies... They were... Because of... UMBRELLA." and when he said "umbrella", it sounded like they dubbed his voice over with someone else's because he said something else. It was hilarious. For example on the cheesiness- the first person Leon meets is this fat guy who owns a gun shop. You walk in, and he points his gun at you and yells "FREEZE!" then, you tell him you're a human, and he walks toward you, and says "Hold on." and then he locks the door. My question is, why exactly wasn't his door locked in the first place? Seriously. But anyway. Then, Leon asks him "What happened to this place?" The man, whose face is obscured by the bad graphics, said "I don't have a clue. Before I even realized anything was wrong, the entire city was infested with zombies." So, let me get this straight- your city was destroyed in a zombie apocalypse... And you didn't even notice it happening? Failure! ... But, it seemed like all I'm doing is complaining. Don't judge this game by that. It was a relatively easy game, but it was very enjoyable nonetheless, and I'd recommend it to those of you who like a game of this sort. (Leon S. Kennedy for the win. Sherry for the loss.)
Resident Evil 4: Wii Edition (Wii)
9/10
An awesome game. Just awesome. The characters were great- Leon S. Kennedy, or as I like to call him, "Pretty-Boy Leon", has a cool role as the dashing main character, saving the damsel in distress, Ashley Grahame. Ashley is one seriously annoying girl, though. Really. Her constant "Leon! Help me, Leon! Leon! Leon, help!" is almost as bad as the "Link! Listen! Hey! Hey, Link! Listen!" from the Legend of Zelda games. The storyline is great, though- different from the other Resident Evil games. I like that you can go back and look at the files and maps, and I also like the attache case system of inventory, where you have to fit items in by arranging them to fit in the space. It's better than the other Resident Evil's system of letting you carry any six, but only six, items around with you. This game was annoying in the fact that it didn't have any sort of item box, though- in the older Resident Evil games, you could only carry six items, but the rest you could put in a box that you could access from different points in the game. But this one had no such thing- so, if you needed to get a key, and for space, you dropped a gun? You don't get that gun back unless you buy a new one. Which can be a bit aggravating. However, this game is still amazing in all the other factors, and I'll recommend it to anyone who likes video games. Really- anyone. It's just that awesome. (Leon S. Kennedy for the win.)
An awesome game. Just awesome. The characters were great- Leon S. Kennedy, or as I like to call him, "Pretty-Boy Leon", has a cool role as the dashing main character, saving the damsel in distress, Ashley Grahame. Ashley is one seriously annoying girl, though. Really. Her constant "Leon! Help me, Leon! Leon! Leon, help!" is almost as bad as the "Link! Listen! Hey! Hey, Link! Listen!" from the Legend of Zelda games. The storyline is great, though- different from the other Resident Evil games. I like that you can go back and look at the files and maps, and I also like the attache case system of inventory, where you have to fit items in by arranging them to fit in the space. It's better than the other Resident Evil's system of letting you carry any six, but only six, items around with you. This game was annoying in the fact that it didn't have any sort of item box, though- in the older Resident Evil games, you could only carry six items, but the rest you could put in a box that you could access from different points in the game. But this one had no such thing- so, if you needed to get a key, and for space, you dropped a gun? You don't get that gun back unless you buy a new one. Which can be a bit aggravating. However, this game is still amazing in all the other factors, and I'll recommend it to anyone who likes video games. Really- anyone. It's just that awesome. (Leon S. Kennedy for the win.)
Resident Evil 5: Desperate Escape (PS3)
5/10
An okay add-on level for Resident Evil 5. I have to say, though, if you like the action, the shoot-em-up types of games, then this is for you. It's reminiscent of Call of Duty. However, I don't really like Call of Duty. So, it wasn't for me. I think the other add-on level, "Lost in Nightmares", was much better, by far superior than this one. This one, you see, wasn't even remotely scary at any point, and being scary is something I look for in Survival-Horror games. The ending level was actually pretty hard- I died at least three or four times on Amateur difficulty. My favorite part was Josh's accent. I'm not judging the accent or anything- it's just awesome. (Josh Stone for the win.)
An okay add-on level for Resident Evil 5. I have to say, though, if you like the action, the shoot-em-up types of games, then this is for you. It's reminiscent of Call of Duty. However, I don't really like Call of Duty. So, it wasn't for me. I think the other add-on level, "Lost in Nightmares", was much better, by far superior than this one. This one, you see, wasn't even remotely scary at any point, and being scary is something I look for in Survival-Horror games. The ending level was actually pretty hard- I died at least three or four times on Amateur difficulty. My favorite part was Josh's accent. I'm not judging the accent or anything- it's just awesome. (Josh Stone for the win.)
Resident Evil 5: Gold Edition (PS3)
7/10
This game was disappointing. It's just not Resident Evil. I mean, RE4 changed the formula a bit, but this is just way more action-focused than any other Resident Evil game... But, hey, just because it's not really Resident Evil doesn't mean I didn't like it. I'm glad they (Spoiler alert!) finally got Wesker down at the end. The characters were pretty good, I guess. But Chris Redfield has nothing on Pretty-Boy Leon. (Leon S. Kennedy.) I love the inventory system, even if it is a bit small- that you have the four items that you can quickly switch to, without having to go through the trouble of opening your inventory in a fight. Actually, I love the entire control system- it was wonderfully arranged. The graphics are beautiful- really, they are- even with the more disgusting bits. Plus, even though it's survival-horror, it's not as scary as you might think. Except for the Lost in Nightmares mode- that's actually a bit freaky, in the scarier parts. Lost in Nightmares is also pretty suspenseful- that mode alone was pretty great. And, speaking of which- the game has a whole slew of unlockables, including figurines, more than four separate game modes, infinite ammo, costumes, in-game background changes (like black-and-white, etc.), and even extra characters for an online Vs. mode. All I can say is: great game. Play it if you like zombies, shooters, and the Resident Evil franchise as a whole. (Sheva Alomar for the win.)
This game was disappointing. It's just not Resident Evil. I mean, RE4 changed the formula a bit, but this is just way more action-focused than any other Resident Evil game... But, hey, just because it's not really Resident Evil doesn't mean I didn't like it. I'm glad they (Spoiler alert!) finally got Wesker down at the end. The characters were pretty good, I guess. But Chris Redfield has nothing on Pretty-Boy Leon. (Leon S. Kennedy.) I love the inventory system, even if it is a bit small- that you have the four items that you can quickly switch to, without having to go through the trouble of opening your inventory in a fight. Actually, I love the entire control system- it was wonderfully arranged. The graphics are beautiful- really, they are- even with the more disgusting bits. Plus, even though it's survival-horror, it's not as scary as you might think. Except for the Lost in Nightmares mode- that's actually a bit freaky, in the scarier parts. Lost in Nightmares is also pretty suspenseful- that mode alone was pretty great. And, speaking of which- the game has a whole slew of unlockables, including figurines, more than four separate game modes, infinite ammo, costumes, in-game background changes (like black-and-white, etc.), and even extra characters for an online Vs. mode. All I can say is: great game. Play it if you like zombies, shooters, and the Resident Evil franchise as a whole. (Sheva Alomar for the win.)
Resident Evil 5: Lost in Nightmares (PS3)
8/10
Well, as add-ons go, this is pretty good. It's fun, a bit scary at times, and it really brought back that old, puzzle-solving Resident Evil feel. I liked that. Not to mention it has an easter-egg where you can make it use the older Resident Evils' camera-angle thing. That's pretty fun. My main complaint is the part where you fall into the sewer and lose all your weapons and such- that kind of aggravated me. I loved the torture-chamber part, though- that's really when it started freaking me out. All-in-all, I'd say it's pretty darn good. Not to mention the unwinnable fight with my favorite character, Mr. Badass himself, at the very end. (Albert Wesker for the win.)
Well, as add-ons go, this is pretty good. It's fun, a bit scary at times, and it really brought back that old, puzzle-solving Resident Evil feel. I liked that. Not to mention it has an easter-egg where you can make it use the older Resident Evils' camera-angle thing. That's pretty fun. My main complaint is the part where you fall into the sewer and lose all your weapons and such- that kind of aggravated me. I loved the torture-chamber part, though- that's really when it started freaking me out. All-in-all, I'd say it's pretty darn good. Not to mention the unwinnable fight with my favorite character, Mr. Badass himself, at the very end. (Albert Wesker for the win.)
Resident Evil: the Umbrella Chronicles (Wii)
8/10
An interesting take on the Resident Evil franchise. The not being able to move freely thing is annoying, but it's cool to focus on aiming, shooting, and picking up items. It's like an arcade zombie game, but with more plot. The boss battles were pretty cool in that sense, too- since the camera automatically goes at the best angle. I also love how it has a recap of four different Resident Evil games, but it takes much less time to complete. Another great thing is the files system, being able to look at all the files from a lot of other Resident Evil games at a whim. It's a great way to recap on the Resident Evil game series's storyline. As long as you're okay only controlling a gun and not being able to move, and you like zombies- this game is for you. (Albert Wesker for the win.)
An interesting take on the Resident Evil franchise. The not being able to move freely thing is annoying, but it's cool to focus on aiming, shooting, and picking up items. It's like an arcade zombie game, but with more plot. The boss battles were pretty cool in that sense, too- since the camera automatically goes at the best angle. I also love how it has a recap of four different Resident Evil games, but it takes much less time to complete. Another great thing is the files system, being able to look at all the files from a lot of other Resident Evil games at a whim. It's a great way to recap on the Resident Evil game series's storyline. As long as you're okay only controlling a gun and not being able to move, and you like zombies- this game is for you. (Albert Wesker for the win.)
S
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (PS3)
8.5/10
A pretty fucking sweet beat-em-up. Fuck yeah, Scott Pilgrim game. (Kim Pines for the win.)
A pretty fucking sweet beat-em-up. Fuck yeah, Scott Pilgrim game. (Kim Pines for the win.)
Silent Hill: the Escape (iPhone)
1/10
A pretty lame game. I didn't like the controls, the graphics were bad (even though it was an iPhone game) and it had no story. Literally NO PLOT. It was like this: "*you are dropped in a maze with monsters* Make it out alive. Goodbye." It was HORRID in that way. And not only that- it's five fucking dollars. You'd think this would be a 99¢ iPhone game at the most- but, no. It was $5.00. That's ridiculous. I can honestly say that it's only worth it if you're using headphones, you're alone in a dark room, and you play the whole thing in one sitting. (And it's small enough for that to easily be possible.) And even then, it's still not even really scary. Ugh. (It had so little plot, there was only one character- you- and even then, you never get a name. So, it's not even possible to have a "for the win" in this case.)
A pretty lame game. I didn't like the controls, the graphics were bad (even though it was an iPhone game) and it had no story. Literally NO PLOT. It was like this: "*you are dropped in a maze with monsters* Make it out alive. Goodbye." It was HORRID in that way. And not only that- it's five fucking dollars. You'd think this would be a 99¢ iPhone game at the most- but, no. It was $5.00. That's ridiculous. I can honestly say that it's only worth it if you're using headphones, you're alone in a dark room, and you play the whole thing in one sitting. (And it's small enough for that to easily be possible.) And even then, it's still not even really scary. Ugh. (It had so little plot, there was only one character- you- and even then, you never get a name. So, it's not even possible to have a "for the win" in this case.)
Silent Hill: Downpour (PS3)
8.5/10
I don't care what anyone else says, I thought the story was good. And that the game was good.
Of course, like I always do, I got the worst possible ending, the "Execution" ending. Hmph.
I don't care what anyone else says, I thought the story was good. And that the game was good.
Of course, like I always do, I got the worst possible ending, the "Execution" ending. Hmph.
Silent Hill: Homecoming (PS3)
7/10
Too combat-based for my liking compared to the other Silent Hill games. I didn't really like the characters, though.
I was a fan of the bosses, though. Story was reasonably good, but the bosses were all pretty damn cool. The last one reminded me of Toy Story.
Also, if you were curious, I got the "Drowning" ending.
Too combat-based for my liking compared to the other Silent Hill games. I didn't really like the characters, though.
I was a fan of the bosses, though. Story was reasonably good, but the bosses were all pretty damn cool. The last one reminded me of Toy Story.
Also, if you were curious, I got the "Drowning" ending.
SIREN: Blood Curse (PS3)
7/10
Well, this game was... A bit strange, to say the least. I liked the game itself, I guess- the control system, in my opinion, is kind of laggy and a pain in the ass when using any firearms. The characters were pretty interesting... But, then again, that's not exactly the main focal point in this game, what with it being survival-horror and all. It was pretty scary at some parts- like when you have to evade the maggot shibito ("shibito" is this game's word for zombie) in the last level, for example, or when you're playing as a little girl who cannot fight back whatsoever and dies as soon as a shibito sees you, while running through a hospital crawling with the things. That level was fucking impossible... The ending level, though, (note: there are no spoilers in the following) really creeped me out. In fact, I think the very first part of the final level was the scariest part of the game. Maybe. But, fair warning; in the final boss battle is a bit hard to play because of the background. It's not just gory or disturbing or anything- it's just really... Psychadelic, I guess would be the best word for it. (At least now I know what taking LSD is like.) The plot doesn't really make much sense... No, scratch that, it doesn't make any sense whatsoever for the most part. The further you progress into the game, the more nonsensical it gets. The only way to have an actual understanding of what's going on is to read every single Archive item they give you. Otherwise, you'll be sitting around for the next two hours thinking "Did I seriously just beat that game? There's gotta be something else... Seriously, what the heck?", so you really must read those Archive items. Maybe that's because they do leave out some small things, maybe it's because when I played this I had never played any of the older prequels to this game, or maybe it'e because I just didn't understand it. But whatever. At any rate, this is still a pretty good, so play it if you can stand the survival-horror genre and the occasional drug-induced hallucination. ... Oh, whoops, excuse me, did I say "drug-induced hallucination"? I meant psychadelic backgrounds that are like kadelioscopes on steriods.
Well, this game was... A bit strange, to say the least. I liked the game itself, I guess- the control system, in my opinion, is kind of laggy and a pain in the ass when using any firearms. The characters were pretty interesting... But, then again, that's not exactly the main focal point in this game, what with it being survival-horror and all. It was pretty scary at some parts- like when you have to evade the maggot shibito ("shibito" is this game's word for zombie) in the last level, for example, or when you're playing as a little girl who cannot fight back whatsoever and dies as soon as a shibito sees you, while running through a hospital crawling with the things. That level was fucking impossible... The ending level, though, (note: there are no spoilers in the following) really creeped me out. In fact, I think the very first part of the final level was the scariest part of the game. Maybe. But, fair warning; in the final boss battle is a bit hard to play because of the background. It's not just gory or disturbing or anything- it's just really... Psychadelic, I guess would be the best word for it. (At least now I know what taking LSD is like.) The plot doesn't really make much sense... No, scratch that, it doesn't make any sense whatsoever for the most part. The further you progress into the game, the more nonsensical it gets. The only way to have an actual understanding of what's going on is to read every single Archive item they give you. Otherwise, you'll be sitting around for the next two hours thinking "Did I seriously just beat that game? There's gotta be something else... Seriously, what the heck?", so you really must read those Archive items. Maybe that's because they do leave out some small things, maybe it's because when I played this I had never played any of the older prequels to this game, or maybe it'e because I just didn't understand it. But whatever. At any rate, this is still a pretty good, so play it if you can stand the survival-horror genre and the occasional drug-induced hallucination. ... Oh, whoops, excuse me, did I say "drug-induced hallucination"? I meant psychadelic backgrounds that are like kadelioscopes on steriods.
Star Wars: the Force Unleashed (Wii)
7/10
A pretty kickass Star Wars game. One of the only really good ones, actually...
A pretty kickass Star Wars game. One of the only really good ones, actually...
Super Smash Bros Brawl (Wii)
10/10
This game is amazing. Enough said. (Marth for the win.)
This game is amazing. Enough said. (Marth for the win.)
T
Team Fortress 2 (PC)
9/10
I, so far, have only really enjoyed very, VERY few FPSs that I've played.
This is one of them. Go play it, NOW.
...
PUTISPUTISPUTISPUTIS
I, so far, have only really enjoyed very, VERY few FPSs that I've played.
This is one of them. Go play it, NOW.
...
PUTISPUTISPUTISPUTIS
Tekken 6 (PS3)
6/10
A pretty good fighting game. I personally enjoy the kind of fighting games where you can shoot lasers out of your hands or do ridiculous sword combos more than this type of fighting game, the more realistic one. I say "more realistic", but that doesn't mean you can't have rockets on your back or do flips off of the other person's chest as you kick them and then kick them again or something else in the middle of the same flip. It's just very slightly more realistic. I like the controls a lot, the fact that one button controls each limb of your character- but in some cases it can get annoying, especially if you like to button-mash. The story mode, in my opinion, is horrible and the battle system for the story mode is also pretty bad. Which is why this game got a 6 instead of a 7. If it had a better story mode, and less pointless characters (Really! Who the heck even needs that creepy wooden guy, anyway?), it would be better- but without those taken into account, it's a great game to play with a friend when you're bored or feel like beating the crap out of something. (Lars Alexandersson and Alisa Bosconovitch for the win.)
A pretty good fighting game. I personally enjoy the kind of fighting games where you can shoot lasers out of your hands or do ridiculous sword combos more than this type of fighting game, the more realistic one. I say "more realistic", but that doesn't mean you can't have rockets on your back or do flips off of the other person's chest as you kick them and then kick them again or something else in the middle of the same flip. It's just very slightly more realistic. I like the controls a lot, the fact that one button controls each limb of your character- but in some cases it can get annoying, especially if you like to button-mash. The story mode, in my opinion, is horrible and the battle system for the story mode is also pretty bad. Which is why this game got a 6 instead of a 7. If it had a better story mode, and less pointless characters (Really! Who the heck even needs that creepy wooden guy, anyway?), it would be better- but without those taken into account, it's a great game to play with a friend when you're bored or feel like beating the crap out of something. (Lars Alexandersson and Alisa Bosconovitch for the win.)