Movies
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Æon Flux
6/10
This was a pretty good movie. I liked the premise a lot, with the rebels in the supposed "perfect society". The plot was pretty good, too, with the way it played out and everything. The characters were just alright. It was good, but it would've been much better if it weren't so confusing. Honestly, I'm still not even sure what exactly happened. But it was still a pretty good movie. (Æon Flux for the win.)
This was a pretty good movie. I liked the premise a lot, with the rebels in the supposed "perfect society". The plot was pretty good, too, with the way it played out and everything. The characters were just alright. It was good, but it would've been much better if it weren't so confusing. Honestly, I'm still not even sure what exactly happened. But it was still a pretty good movie. (Æon Flux for the win.)
1408
7/10
... Wow. All I can say is wow. This movie was really great. I only have it as a seven of ten because it wasn't super-awesome; I just mean that it had no bad elements. That doesn't mean it's perfect, because some of the elements were just medium-good, if you know what I mean.
... If that confused you, I'm sorry. If you did get it, then I guess you'll actually understand what I'm trying to say through this review before I really finish it. ... But, anyway. The premise for this movie is pretty uncreative and boring-- a haunted hotel room, ooh, so scary! So, in the beginning, I wasn't expecting much. But toward the end, my mind was blown. The premise would make it seem uncreative and stupid, but the plot makes for a surprisingly juicy storyline. Then, there's the actual horror element. Since it is supposed to be horror, I'd say it was pretty freaky at some points-- emphasis on the "some"-- but somewhat boring in others, with one or two points of real anticipation. I think the characters, although usually lacking in all backstory and depth, are actually fine the way they are because of how the story is laid out and how the backstories of the main few characters unfold themselves. All-in-all, I think it's a pretty solid suspense thriller, with a few good horror elements mixed in. I'd say it would be pretty good for most casual moviegoers, but for those of you who really devote yourselves to horror or suspense, it may prove to be a bit mellow for your taste. Luckily enough, there aren't really very many of those super-devoted types of people, so most of you would probably enjoy this. (Gerald Olin and the Hotel Engineer for the win.)
... Wow. All I can say is wow. This movie was really great. I only have it as a seven of ten because it wasn't super-awesome; I just mean that it had no bad elements. That doesn't mean it's perfect, because some of the elements were just medium-good, if you know what I mean.
... If that confused you, I'm sorry. If you did get it, then I guess you'll actually understand what I'm trying to say through this review before I really finish it. ... But, anyway. The premise for this movie is pretty uncreative and boring-- a haunted hotel room, ooh, so scary! So, in the beginning, I wasn't expecting much. But toward the end, my mind was blown. The premise would make it seem uncreative and stupid, but the plot makes for a surprisingly juicy storyline. Then, there's the actual horror element. Since it is supposed to be horror, I'd say it was pretty freaky at some points-- emphasis on the "some"-- but somewhat boring in others, with one or two points of real anticipation. I think the characters, although usually lacking in all backstory and depth, are actually fine the way they are because of how the story is laid out and how the backstories of the main few characters unfold themselves. All-in-all, I think it's a pretty solid suspense thriller, with a few good horror elements mixed in. I'd say it would be pretty good for most casual moviegoers, but for those of you who really devote yourselves to horror or suspense, it may prove to be a bit mellow for your taste. Luckily enough, there aren't really very many of those super-devoted types of people, so most of you would probably enjoy this. (Gerald Olin and the Hotel Engineer for the win.)
9
4/10
A mediocre animated film about dolls who save the world from robots. Nothing really good about it, but I liked the animation and art style. (7 for the win.)
A mediocre animated film about dolls who save the world from robots. Nothing really good about it, but I liked the animation and art style. (7 for the win.)
28 Days Later
5/10
An okay movie. The premise I liked, because of the whole zombie apocalypse thing; and the plot was pretty good, too. But the characters left a bit to be desired, and the ending was too happy for my taste in horror. (The infected for the win.)
An okay movie. The premise I liked, because of the whole zombie apocalypse thing; and the plot was pretty good, too. But the characters left a bit to be desired, and the ending was too happy for my taste in horror. (The infected for the win.)
A
Airplane!
7/10
A hilarious movie with a lot of quotability value. Leslie Nielsen did well in this piece. And I rather enjoyed it. (Dr. Rumack for the win.)
A hilarious movie with a lot of quotability value. Leslie Nielsen did well in this piece. And I rather enjoyed it. (Dr. Rumack for the win.)
Alice in Wonderland (1951)
5/10
Well, this was a cute movie. I like the plot, and the characters were alright. I like the ending a lot. (The Cheshire Cat for the win.)
Well, this was a cute movie. I like the plot, and the characters were alright. I like the ending a lot. (The Cheshire Cat for the win.)
Alice in Wonderland (2010)
6/10
This was a cool new take on Alice in Wonderland. I like the plot variations a lot, and the characters were pretty good. Although Johnny Depp's "Futterwhacken" (or however you spell it) was pretty creepy. The ending was pretty cute, though. I rather enjoyed it. (The Cheshire Cat for the win.)
This was a cool new take on Alice in Wonderland. I like the plot variations a lot, and the characters were pretty good. Although Johnny Depp's "Futterwhacken" (or however you spell it) was pretty creepy. The ending was pretty cute, though. I rather enjoyed it. (The Cheshire Cat for the win.)
Alien
7/10
Wow, this movie was cool. Sigourney Weaver acted very well. I love the plot and the premise. The characters were just okay... But they were interesting. Like the robot guy, when he says the crew is "disposable". Anyway, it was an awesome movie. (The aliens for the win.)
Wow, this movie was cool. Sigourney Weaver acted very well. I love the plot and the premise. The characters were just okay... But they were interesting. Like the robot guy, when he says the crew is "disposable". Anyway, it was an awesome movie. (The aliens for the win.)
Alien vs. Ninja
4/10
(Watched Subbed)
Okay, for this, I'm just going to start out with a statement that describes almost all of this movie; What. The. Fudge. The plot was pretty bad, even if it was a B-Movie. There were way too many sexual innuendos for my taste. The lone female ninja, Rin, was constantly sexually harassed. At one point, even by one of the aliens starts doing it! Really, that just isn't right. Also, the stocky ninja with the short, spiky, blond hair, Nezumi? God, he was so annoying. Somewhat funny, but jeez, just so stupid. Now, this time may not be exact; but at around 54:36 (Fifty-four minutes and thirty-six seconds), the dead body in the bottom-right corner starts moving it's hand. Wow, that's a fail. At any rate, it was pretty bad. The aliens looked like Power Rangers villains, and the fighting style and camerawork had Power Rangers written all over it. The ninja even kind of looked like Power Rangers. Very strange. Also, in the beginning, the main ninjas slaughter some other ninjas? And there's no blood. Not one drop. However, by the end of the movie, you'll see ninjas being torn in half, hung by their own intestines, and various other extremely gory things. Which I found to be a bit odd. At one point, the alien takes over the minds of some of the ninja, and they all start chanting "Fuck you... Fuck you..." So, either Ce-Lo Green took part in writing it (Which I highly doubt.) or they need to find a better sense of humor. During the final fight scene, the main character, Yamata, and the last alien start fighting in midair, and then they fall to the ground from thousands of feet in the air. They even catch on fire, as ridiculous as that is. And, even though they catch on fire and fall to the earth from thousands of feet up, the ninja still manages to kill the alien and land in a dramatic action pose. Again; Power Rangers. The ending was classic B-Movie; a supposedly unexpected twist that pretty much everyone saw coming. But, I will say this; if you can stand a lot of gore and a lot of messed up sexual innuendos that really shouldn't be there- and if you can stand some really bad old horror films- then you should watch this. A lot of the time, it was so bad that it was funny. Because, honestly, it was meant to be bad. And plus, it'll give you something to rant about, sort of like I just did. And that's always a good thing. (Jinnai for the win.)
(Watched Subbed)
Okay, for this, I'm just going to start out with a statement that describes almost all of this movie; What. The. Fudge. The plot was pretty bad, even if it was a B-Movie. There were way too many sexual innuendos for my taste. The lone female ninja, Rin, was constantly sexually harassed. At one point, even by one of the aliens starts doing it! Really, that just isn't right. Also, the stocky ninja with the short, spiky, blond hair, Nezumi? God, he was so annoying. Somewhat funny, but jeez, just so stupid. Now, this time may not be exact; but at around 54:36 (Fifty-four minutes and thirty-six seconds), the dead body in the bottom-right corner starts moving it's hand. Wow, that's a fail. At any rate, it was pretty bad. The aliens looked like Power Rangers villains, and the fighting style and camerawork had Power Rangers written all over it. The ninja even kind of looked like Power Rangers. Very strange. Also, in the beginning, the main ninjas slaughter some other ninjas? And there's no blood. Not one drop. However, by the end of the movie, you'll see ninjas being torn in half, hung by their own intestines, and various other extremely gory things. Which I found to be a bit odd. At one point, the alien takes over the minds of some of the ninja, and they all start chanting "Fuck you... Fuck you..." So, either Ce-Lo Green took part in writing it (Which I highly doubt.) or they need to find a better sense of humor. During the final fight scene, the main character, Yamata, and the last alien start fighting in midair, and then they fall to the ground from thousands of feet in the air. They even catch on fire, as ridiculous as that is. And, even though they catch on fire and fall to the earth from thousands of feet up, the ninja still manages to kill the alien and land in a dramatic action pose. Again; Power Rangers. The ending was classic B-Movie; a supposedly unexpected twist that pretty much everyone saw coming. But, I will say this; if you can stand a lot of gore and a lot of messed up sexual innuendos that really shouldn't be there- and if you can stand some really bad old horror films- then you should watch this. A lot of the time, it was so bad that it was funny. Because, honestly, it was meant to be bad. And plus, it'll give you something to rant about, sort of like I just did. And that's always a good thing. (Jinnai for the win.)
Army of Darkness
6/10
Bruce Campbell was hilarious in this movie. The plot and characters were both mediocre, but it was worth it because of the quotability. However, to catch all the good ones, you have to listen up, you primitive screwheads, because this is my BOOMSTICK!! (From "listen up" to "BOOMSTICK!!" was a quote. So, no insults were meant.) And if you do hear them, then you won't need some sugar, baby. (Another quote.) At any rate, the quotability is endless. Everything from bad pickup lines to battle taunts is said in that movie, and they're almost always hilarious. So, watch for the quotability. (Ash for the win.)
Bruce Campbell was hilarious in this movie. The plot and characters were both mediocre, but it was worth it because of the quotability. However, to catch all the good ones, you have to listen up, you primitive screwheads, because this is my BOOMSTICK!! (From "listen up" to "BOOMSTICK!!" was a quote. So, no insults were meant.) And if you do hear them, then you won't need some sugar, baby. (Another quote.) At any rate, the quotability is endless. Everything from bad pickup lines to battle taunts is said in that movie, and they're almost always hilarious. So, watch for the quotability. (Ash for the win.)
The A-Team
5/10
An okay rendering of The A-Team. It wasn't anywhere near as good without Mr. T. (B.A. Baracus for the win.)
An okay rendering of The A-Team. It wasn't anywhere near as good without Mr. T. (B.A. Baracus for the win.)
Avatar
3/10
It got a lot of hype because of the graphics; but the plot itself was mediocre, the characters were a bit shallow, and the way it played out was typical. The animation was extremely beautiful, yes; but, alas, the movie itself was less than satisfactory. (Neytiri for the win.)
It got a lot of hype because of the graphics; but the plot itself was mediocre, the characters were a bit shallow, and the way it played out was typical. The animation was extremely beautiful, yes; but, alas, the movie itself was less than satisfactory. (Neytiri for the win.)
The Avengers
7.5/10
Never was a big Avengers fan, but this movie was pretty damn well done... Also, Scarlett Johansson.
Never was a big Avengers fan, but this movie was pretty damn well done... Also, Scarlett Johansson.
B
Batman (1966)
9/10
This movie is hilarious, and awesome, and it's Batman. What's not to love?
Also, you can see the Joker's moustache under his makeup. It's funny as hell.
This movie is hilarious, and awesome, and it's Batman. What's not to love?
Also, you can see the Joker's moustache under his makeup. It's funny as hell.
Batman Begins
6.5/10
I didn't like this a lot, actually... The sequels are glorious, but this one's just okay... However, watching it to see the other two is needed for plot development.
I didn't like this a lot, actually... The sequels are glorious, but this one's just okay... However, watching it to see the other two is needed for plot development.
Benny & Joon
7/10
Well, this was a pretty nice movie. I think the plot was pretty solid, with the twists and the turns and et cetera. It's a pretty standard romcom, but what makes it stand out is the characters. They were really well-developed and thought out, and they all had their little quirks and et cetera. Their personalities were very original, and that's why I liked the movie. The acting was pretty great, too, and that's what gave the characters their personality.
In all, this is a pretty well-written movie with especially memorable characters for a romantic comedy. (Sam for the win.)
Well, this was a pretty nice movie. I think the plot was pretty solid, with the twists and the turns and et cetera. It's a pretty standard romcom, but what makes it stand out is the characters. They were really well-developed and thought out, and they all had their little quirks and et cetera. Their personalities were very original, and that's why I liked the movie. The acting was pretty great, too, and that's what gave the characters their personality.
In all, this is a pretty well-written movie with especially memorable characters for a romantic comedy. (Sam for the win.)
Better off Dead
8/10
A good old 80s romantic comedy. Full of memorable lines.
"This is pure snow! Do you know the street value of this mountain?!"
"Language lessons... Inspired words from a man who knows how to ski."
A good old 80s romantic comedy. Full of memorable lines.
"This is pure snow! Do you know the street value of this mountain?!"
"Language lessons... Inspired words from a man who knows how to ski."
Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure
7/10
Wow, this movie is hilarious. Bill and Ted are just so stupid... But that's what makes it funny. The plot was okay, but the characters are great... No, let me rephrase that; the characters are EXCELLENT!! *air guitar riff* And it makes you say 'excellent'. That is what my friends did for a while after we saw this movie; used 'excellent' and 'bogus' and random air guitar riffs as part of everyday speech. And if I quote things- for I am simply one hell of a quoter (Black Butler reference)- it usually means I liked it. And this is no exception. (Ted Logan for the win.)
Wow, this movie is hilarious. Bill and Ted are just so stupid... But that's what makes it funny. The plot was okay, but the characters are great... No, let me rephrase that; the characters are EXCELLENT!! *air guitar riff* And it makes you say 'excellent'. That is what my friends did for a while after we saw this movie; used 'excellent' and 'bogus' and random air guitar riffs as part of everyday speech. And if I quote things- for I am simply one hell of a quoter (Black Butler reference)- it usually means I liked it. And this is no exception. (Ted Logan for the win.)
Blade Runner
9/10
A glorious sci-fi movie. Also, Harrison Ford. What's not to love?
A glorious sci-fi movie. Also, Harrison Ford. What's not to love?
Blood: the Last Vampire
5/10
A pretty much mediocre movie. It didn't make total sense until the end, and even then it was a bit confusing... Mostly, I just thought it was a badly-filmed and mediocrely-written film. For example, the general (you know, Alice's dad?) is just a gym teacher. Really, that's exactly what I thought of every time I saw that guy. Also, when Saya goes into that naval academy's classroom the first time and everyone bullies her and is racist, I felt ashamed to be American. Don't laugh, I really did... My main complaints, though, are with the special-effects. The blood was badly animated and sometimes looked purple, the vampires were badly animated and lame, not scary at all... Really, it was almost as bad as Alien vs. Ninja. Almost, but not quite. The only part I really enjoyed, though, was when I watched the old man, Kato, beat the crap out of all the vampire ninjas in a flashback. It was awesome. However, other than that, it was pretty mediocre. (Kato for the win.)
A pretty much mediocre movie. It didn't make total sense until the end, and even then it was a bit confusing... Mostly, I just thought it was a badly-filmed and mediocrely-written film. For example, the general (you know, Alice's dad?) is just a gym teacher. Really, that's exactly what I thought of every time I saw that guy. Also, when Saya goes into that naval academy's classroom the first time and everyone bullies her and is racist, I felt ashamed to be American. Don't laugh, I really did... My main complaints, though, are with the special-effects. The blood was badly animated and sometimes looked purple, the vampires were badly animated and lame, not scary at all... Really, it was almost as bad as Alien vs. Ninja. Almost, but not quite. The only part I really enjoyed, though, was when I watched the old man, Kato, beat the crap out of all the vampire ninjas in a flashback. It was awesome. However, other than that, it was pretty mediocre. (Kato for the win.)
The Breakfast Club
8/10
An amazing flick... I love 80s movies. So much.
An amazing flick... I love 80s movies. So much.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
2/10
A pretty bad film. I guess it was supposed to be campy- but still. It did have it's funny moments- such as Buffy's "Oh, great. My secret weapon is PMS." line, or the conversation Merrick and Buffy had right after Merrick throws a knife at Buffy's face for no apparent reason- but other than that, it was mediocre. And speaking of Merrick- he's a complete pedophile. Seriously, he was really creeping me out most of the time. Even Buffy says to him at one point; "Are you one of those old men who attack little girls and stuff? Well, forget you." Like the first time Merrick meets Buffy? He just acts so creepy. "I've been searching for you, Buffy. All my life. Come with me to the graveyard." and et cetera, et cetera. So, all-in-all, it turns me off of the television series. Which is a bad thing, because the series is apparently pretty good. (Nobody from this gets a "for the win". Merrick for the loss.)
A pretty bad film. I guess it was supposed to be campy- but still. It did have it's funny moments- such as Buffy's "Oh, great. My secret weapon is PMS." line, or the conversation Merrick and Buffy had right after Merrick throws a knife at Buffy's face for no apparent reason- but other than that, it was mediocre. And speaking of Merrick- he's a complete pedophile. Seriously, he was really creeping me out most of the time. Even Buffy says to him at one point; "Are you one of those old men who attack little girls and stuff? Well, forget you." Like the first time Merrick meets Buffy? He just acts so creepy. "I've been searching for you, Buffy. All my life. Come with me to the graveyard." and et cetera, et cetera. So, all-in-all, it turns me off of the television series. Which is a bad thing, because the series is apparently pretty good. (Nobody from this gets a "for the win". Merrick for the loss.)
C
The Cabin in the Woods
7.5/10
The "twist" was obvious from the beginning, but I gotta say, this was a pretty interesting movie.
And Joss Whedon was involved; how is that not awesome?
The "twist" was obvious from the beginning, but I gotta say, this was a pretty interesting movie.
And Joss Whedon was involved; how is that not awesome?
Captain America: the First Avenger
6/10
I gotta say—this was a reasonably good movie.
It had a nice blend of humor, action, and plot, (to set up for the upcoming Avengers movie, of course) and the tone was nicely layed out.
Anyway, I liked it okay, though Captain America is probably my least favorite superhero...
I gotta say—this was a reasonably good movie.
It had a nice blend of humor, action, and plot, (to set up for the upcoming Avengers movie, of course) and the tone was nicely layed out.
Anyway, I liked it okay, though Captain America is probably my least favorite superhero...
Craw Lake (short)
5/10
Well, this was an interesting short.
I was expecting it to be good, (from the people who brought you ThanksKilling, after all!) but since it was a college film, it was just alright.
The premise wasn't really very original, but that can be forgiven, I suppose.
The tone was actually pretty nice, and it was smooth sailing for a suspenseful start to a sad, climactic finish. A few scares along the way, of course, and since it's a horror short that should be canon—but it seems like more of a suspenseful thriller than a straight-up horror film.
The acting wasn't really that bad, especially for the actress playing Julia, Bella Thorne. I believe she's currently co-starring with Zendaya Coleman in a Disney Channel TV show centered around kids who dance on a TV show.
This short is by far her best acting job. By far.
Anyway, the acting was great for that little girl, but the only other actor was only a somewhat good one. I can see why they hired him, but still, I think he could've done a better job acting terrified.
On the note of errors, there was a really bad fake gunshot towards the end, and a shot of the father beating one of the quote-on-quote “lurkers” that—I think—was the same few seconds replayed over and over, but—again—this is a college film.
And for all those factors, I think I have to award this at least a five of ten. Quite a good college film—perhaps not even half as good as ThanksKilling, which was made around the same time as this by the same people—but still. It seems to be a good effort.
Well, this was an interesting short.
I was expecting it to be good, (from the people who brought you ThanksKilling, after all!) but since it was a college film, it was just alright.
The premise wasn't really very original, but that can be forgiven, I suppose.
The tone was actually pretty nice, and it was smooth sailing for a suspenseful start to a sad, climactic finish. A few scares along the way, of course, and since it's a horror short that should be canon—but it seems like more of a suspenseful thriller than a straight-up horror film.
The acting wasn't really that bad, especially for the actress playing Julia, Bella Thorne. I believe she's currently co-starring with Zendaya Coleman in a Disney Channel TV show centered around kids who dance on a TV show.
This short is by far her best acting job. By far.
Anyway, the acting was great for that little girl, but the only other actor was only a somewhat good one. I can see why they hired him, but still, I think he could've done a better job acting terrified.
On the note of errors, there was a really bad fake gunshot towards the end, and a shot of the father beating one of the quote-on-quote “lurkers” that—I think—was the same few seconds replayed over and over, but—again—this is a college film.
And for all those factors, I think I have to award this at least a five of ten. Quite a good college film—perhaps not even half as good as ThanksKilling, which was made around the same time as this by the same people—but still. It seems to be a good effort.
Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things
4/10
A pretty bad movie. The plot was just a traditional 70's horror movie plot, a group of friends accidentally (or not) bringing the dead back to life. Honestly a pretty stereotypical movie, with the whole cult thing. It was funny when they married Orville to Alan, though. I also loved Alan's "Shut up, meat!" which was an inside joke between my friends and I for some time after. What surprised me was that while reading about the movie, that Alan guy? The one who leads the cult and the satanic rituals? He wrote additional story material for Mulan. Really, the Disney movie, Mulan. I guess he had a varied career, which is a good thing, I suppose. At any rate, the movie was a bit disappointing in the fact that there are absolutely no zombies until the last 5-10 minutes of the movie. Ah, well. It was so bad it was funny at some points, so it was worth it. And if you think otherwise, well, then... Shut up, meat. (Alan for the win.)
A pretty bad movie. The plot was just a traditional 70's horror movie plot, a group of friends accidentally (or not) bringing the dead back to life. Honestly a pretty stereotypical movie, with the whole cult thing. It was funny when they married Orville to Alan, though. I also loved Alan's "Shut up, meat!" which was an inside joke between my friends and I for some time after. What surprised me was that while reading about the movie, that Alan guy? The one who leads the cult and the satanic rituals? He wrote additional story material for Mulan. Really, the Disney movie, Mulan. I guess he had a varied career, which is a good thing, I suppose. At any rate, the movie was a bit disappointing in the fact that there are absolutely no zombies until the last 5-10 minutes of the movie. Ah, well. It was so bad it was funny at some points, so it was worth it. And if you think otherwise, well, then... Shut up, meat. (Alan for the win.)
Clash of the Titans (1981)
6/10
A pretty good old movie. I like the premise and plot, but the characters are very underdone. The special effects, however, were top-notch for the time period, so that's always cool. In total, it was alright. (Perseus for the win.)
A pretty good old movie. I like the premise and plot, but the characters are very underdone. The special effects, however, were top-notch for the time period, so that's always cool. In total, it was alright. (Perseus for the win.)
Clash of the Titans (2010)
7/10
This movie was awesome. The plot was pretty good, the characters were nice, but what made it stand out was that it was just so flipping epic. Really, how often do you get to see a guy stab a giant scorpion to death from the inside while some of his friends fight, like, 4 more of them and have it still look well-animated? The fight scenes were just awesome. And the way they did Medusa was pretty awesome, too. In the first one, back in 1981, she was so ugly... But in this one, she's played by a Russian supermodel, and the animations for Medusa were so much better. And that makes me happy, because Medusa is one of my favorite monsters from Greek mythology, and the first Clash of the Titans made her look bad. Anyway, I'm digressing; it was a good movie. (Medusa for the win.)
This movie was awesome. The plot was pretty good, the characters were nice, but what made it stand out was that it was just so flipping epic. Really, how often do you get to see a guy stab a giant scorpion to death from the inside while some of his friends fight, like, 4 more of them and have it still look well-animated? The fight scenes were just awesome. And the way they did Medusa was pretty awesome, too. In the first one, back in 1981, she was so ugly... But in this one, she's played by a Russian supermodel, and the animations for Medusa were so much better. And that makes me happy, because Medusa is one of my favorite monsters from Greek mythology, and the first Clash of the Titans made her look bad. Anyway, I'm digressing; it was a good movie. (Medusa for the win.)
Constantine
8/10
This movie was awesome. Really, it was just awesome. Keanu Reeves killing demons is one of the coolest things ever; I really love movies that have the whole "Hell is coming! Let's beat the crap out of all the demons in the world!" thing. So, the premise was nice, and the plot was great too... The characters were fun. Because it's Keanu Reeves's traditional action hero stereotype, which is always cool. Plus, it did have its freaky elements, like that locust thing. (John Constantine for the win.)
This movie was awesome. Really, it was just awesome. Keanu Reeves killing demons is one of the coolest things ever; I really love movies that have the whole "Hell is coming! Let's beat the crap out of all the demons in the world!" thing. So, the premise was nice, and the plot was great too... The characters were fun. Because it's Keanu Reeves's traditional action hero stereotype, which is always cool. Plus, it did have its freaky elements, like that locust thing. (John Constantine for the win.)
Coraline
6/10
This was a pretty good adaptation of Niel Gaiman's book. I think my main concern is that it was a bit too childish for what the book really was. It still did a great job, though; if it were only slightly darker in tone, than it would've been a perfect version. And, like I said; that doesn't mean it isn't great. I love the plot and the characters. Great adaptation of a book. (The cat for the win.)
This was a pretty good adaptation of Niel Gaiman's book. I think my main concern is that it was a bit too childish for what the book really was. It still did a great job, though; if it were only slightly darker in tone, than it would've been a perfect version. And, like I said; that doesn't mean it isn't great. I love the plot and the characters. Great adaptation of a book. (The cat for the win.)
Corn
1/10
Well, I watched this thinking it would be a horror movie about sheep. I was wrong. There were some parts that were like that, but there were probably less than four. It was mainly a drama about a teenager whose pregnancy (By an over-the-hill politician, no less.) is affected by some creepy pesticide thing. Honestly, it was pretty disappointing. Besides, the girl is just a freak. After being impregnated as a teenager, by an old politician no less, she ends up falling for her step-dad, whom she's known as her dad all her life. At one point, she's working at a grocery store and she walks through the back of the butcher's shop? ... Yuck. I didn't eat meat for the next two days. Just disgusting. Also, she only has one friend; an adult woman who is also going through a pregnancy. The woman's baby is killed in childbirth, and her only other son (who is around three) is attacked by the sheep. There were really no high points in the movie at all, other than when the main girl goes against her stepdad's will and burns all of the drug-addicted (long story.) sheep to death. All-in-all, it was a very boring movie, with mostly soap-opera undertones with an extremely goofy premise. Which is usually; and this movie holds true to it; a recipe for disaster. (The infected sheep for the win.)
Well, I watched this thinking it would be a horror movie about sheep. I was wrong. There were some parts that were like that, but there were probably less than four. It was mainly a drama about a teenager whose pregnancy (By an over-the-hill politician, no less.) is affected by some creepy pesticide thing. Honestly, it was pretty disappointing. Besides, the girl is just a freak. After being impregnated as a teenager, by an old politician no less, she ends up falling for her step-dad, whom she's known as her dad all her life. At one point, she's working at a grocery store and she walks through the back of the butcher's shop? ... Yuck. I didn't eat meat for the next two days. Just disgusting. Also, she only has one friend; an adult woman who is also going through a pregnancy. The woman's baby is killed in childbirth, and her only other son (who is around three) is attacked by the sheep. There were really no high points in the movie at all, other than when the main girl goes against her stepdad's will and burns all of the drug-addicted (long story.) sheep to death. All-in-all, it was a very boring movie, with mostly soap-opera undertones with an extremely goofy premise. Which is usually; and this movie holds true to it; a recipe for disaster. (The infected sheep for the win.)
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
3/10
(Watched Subbed)
Although this movie got a lot of hype, I think it wasn't all that great. The story was just okay, although also slightly interesting, and the characters were a bit half-baked. It was fun to watch all of the ridiculous fight scenes, though. (Jade Fox for the win.)
(Watched Subbed)
Although this movie got a lot of hype, I think it wasn't all that great. The story was just okay, although also slightly interesting, and the characters were a bit half-baked. It was fun to watch all of the ridiculous fight scenes, though. (Jade Fox for the win.)
D
The Dark Knight
8.5/10
The Joker is my favorite Batman villain. This is one of the better incarnations.
The Joker is my favorite Batman villain. This is one of the better incarnations.
The Dark Knight Rises
10/10
A great finale to a great trilogy.
A great finale to a great trilogy.
Dark Shadows
6/10
Death Note
9/10
(Watched Dubbed & Subbed)
An interesting rendering of Death Note. L was done extremely well, Light done well, and everyone else was done alright. My biggest complaint would have to be their teeth. I'm sorry, but please go see a dentist. Other than that, though, I loved it. (L for the win.)
(Watched Dubbed & Subbed)
An interesting rendering of Death Note. L was done extremely well, Light done well, and everyone else was done alright. My biggest complaint would have to be their teeth. I'm sorry, but please go see a dentist. Other than that, though, I loved it. (L for the win.)
Death Note: the Last Name
8/10
(Watched Dubbed & Subbed)
This was a pretty good movie; however, same as the first live-action Death Note movie, they really need to work on their teeth. I do really like the ending, and it made me happy that they changed it up a bit from the anime. (L for the win.)
(Watched Dubbed & Subbed)
This was a pretty good movie; however, same as the first live-action Death Note movie, they really need to work on their teeth. I do really like the ending, and it made me happy that they changed it up a bit from the anime. (L for the win.)
Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules
4/10
An okay movie. Nothing special, really, and just somewhat funny. I never really laughed out loud. It was just slightly humorous. Rodrick is a pretty funny person, though. And Bill was a total creeper. That's really all I can say about this movie. (Rodrick Heffley for the win.)
An okay movie. Nothing special, really, and just somewhat funny. I never really laughed out loud. It was just slightly humorous. Rodrick is a pretty funny person, though. And Bill was a total creeper. That's really all I can say about this movie. (Rodrick Heffley for the win.)
Donnie Darko
9/10
This movie is amazing. It's hard to understand, and there are a lot of theories on the plot, but no matter what way you take it, it's still a creepy, awesome, deep, glorious movie. Absolutely outstanding.
This movie is amazing. It's hard to understand, and there are a lot of theories on the plot, but no matter what way you take it, it's still a creepy, awesome, deep, glorious movie. Absolutely outstanding.
Don't Be Afraid of the Dark
2/10
The main characters literally would have come out of this movie completely unscathed if they had a flashlight and a vaccum cleaner. The villians are TOOTH FAIRIES. It was really hard to actually be scared because of how lame the monsters are... Seriously.
The main characters literally would have come out of this movie completely unscathed if they had a flashlight and a vaccum cleaner. The villians are TOOTH FAIRIES. It was really hard to actually be scared because of how lame the monsters are... Seriously.
Drag Me to Hell
1/10
The plot was mediocre, and the characters were pretty bad... But what really made it bad was that it was just so... Disgusting. Seriously, the amount of sheer nastiness in this movie is almost humorous...
The plot was mediocre, and the characters were pretty bad... But what really made it bad was that it was just so... Disgusting. Seriously, the amount of sheer nastiness in this movie is almost humorous...
Dragonball: Evolution
7/10
A pretty funny rendering of Dragon Ball. It might have been worse; however, I missed Dragon Ball and Dragon Ball Z, because I hadn't watched it in a while. And it brought back some childhood memories. (Chi-Chi for the win.)
A pretty funny rendering of Dragon Ball. It might have been worse; however, I missed Dragon Ball and Dragon Ball Z, because I hadn't watched it in a while. And it brought back some childhood memories. (Chi-Chi for the win.)
E
The Eagle
3/10
A mediocre movie. The story was pretty uncreative, and so were the characters. The premise was a bit boring to me, just a master becoming a slave. I guess the way it played out (ended) made me happy, but the plot itself's unraveling was just alright... I guess it was just boring to me. (Marcus Aquila for the win.)
A mediocre movie. The story was pretty uncreative, and so were the characters. The premise was a bit boring to me, just a master becoming a slave. I guess the way it played out (ended) made me happy, but the plot itself's unraveling was just alright... I guess it was just boring to me. (Marcus Aquila for the win.)
Eclipse
6/10
The Twilight movies have gotten somewhat better by this point. I was actually pretty interested with the whole newborn army thing. (Edward Cullen for the win.)
The Twilight movies have gotten somewhat better by this point. I was actually pretty interested with the whole newborn army thing. (Edward Cullen for the win.)
Elektra
4/10
An okay action movie. The plot was pretty cool, but the characters were just okay. The fight scenes were alright. Not really bad, I guess, but all-in-all, still just okay. (Elektra for the win.)
An okay action movie. The plot was pretty cool, but the characters were just okay. The fight scenes were alright. Not really bad, I guess, but all-in-all, still just okay. (Elektra for the win.)
The Eye (2008)
7/10
Jessica Alba did a great job in this, in my opinion. I like how it's her eye that's causing the creepy hallucinations, so the premise was good. The plot played out nicely, too, and I enjoyed the ending bit where she got rid of her sight again. But it was a horror movie, and this was no exception. Since it's her eyes, there's absolutely no warning where she'll start to hallucinate, (Example; mid-conversation in a car, a random flaming dead body hits the windshield.) which makes for unexpected scares. Anyway, I liked it. (Shadowman for the win.)
Jessica Alba did a great job in this, in my opinion. I like how it's her eye that's causing the creepy hallucinations, so the premise was good. The plot played out nicely, too, and I enjoyed the ending bit where she got rid of her sight again. But it was a horror movie, and this was no exception. Since it's her eyes, there's absolutely no warning where she'll start to hallucinate, (Example; mid-conversation in a car, a random flaming dead body hits the windshield.) which makes for unexpected scares. Anyway, I liked it. (Shadowman for the win.)
F
Faces in the Crowd
7/10
Confusing, but good enough to bother seeing, I guess, if you're into confusing shit like this...
But it had Milla Jovovich, so it's worth watching anyway, right?
Confusing, but good enough to bother seeing, I guess, if you're into confusing shit like this...
But it had Milla Jovovich, so it's worth watching anyway, right?
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
9/10
This is an absolute classic.
This is an absolute classic.
The Fifth Element
5/10
An okay movie. It had a lot of quotability, I guess, but only if you payed attention. And again, only if you payed attention, it had too many bloopers and mess-ups to count- like Zorg's limp? It changed legs. All the time. It was a fail in that subject. The DJ, Ruby Rod, he was pretty... Weird as well. He creeped me out, actually. Even though this was a film that was pretty well-known and popular, I'd still only give it a 5 of 10. And even then, it only gets any more than a 4 because of Milla Jovovich. (Leeloo for the win. Ruby Rod for the loss.)
An okay movie. It had a lot of quotability, I guess, but only if you payed attention. And again, only if you payed attention, it had too many bloopers and mess-ups to count- like Zorg's limp? It changed legs. All the time. It was a fail in that subject. The DJ, Ruby Rod, he was pretty... Weird as well. He creeped me out, actually. Even though this was a film that was pretty well-known and popular, I'd still only give it a 5 of 10. And even then, it only gets any more than a 4 because of Milla Jovovich. (Leeloo for the win. Ruby Rod for the loss.)
The Forbidden Kingdom
6/10
A classic genre, the kung-fu flick. I enjoy those movies, and this one, having Jet Li and Jackie Chan, was no exception. The plot was actually pretty good, as far as these kinds of movies go, although the characters were just alright and it was super-cliche... (Golden Sparrow for the win.)
A classic genre, the kung-fu flick. I enjoy those movies, and this one, having Jet Li and Jackie Chan, was no exception. The plot was actually pretty good, as far as these kinds of movies go, although the characters were just alright and it was super-cliche... (Golden Sparrow for the win.)
The Fourth Kind
2/10
Uh... Wow. This movie is a fail. Mediocre plot, even though it was all supposedly 'real', the characters had no real depth, the film itself was all just bad. The whole thing was so boring... Ugh. The only reason it gets any more than a one of ten is because of Milla Jovovich. *sigh* Oh, well. My advice would be not to even bother with this... (Abbey Tyler for the win.)
Uh... Wow. This movie is a fail. Mediocre plot, even though it was all supposedly 'real', the characters had no real depth, the film itself was all just bad. The whole thing was so boring... Ugh. The only reason it gets any more than a one of ten is because of Milla Jovovich. *sigh* Oh, well. My advice would be not to even bother with this... (Abbey Tyler for the win.)
Frankenweenie
8/10
I love Tim Burton so much. The animation style was creepy, but also kind of childish; I love that it was in black-and-white. The story was cute, though Burton has done variations of Frankenweenie, what, five times now? Yeah, it's a lot of zombie dogs. The sountrack was amazing (as per the Danny Elfman norm) and I personally highly enjoyed this movie. Not bad at all.
I love Tim Burton so much. The animation style was creepy, but also kind of childish; I love that it was in black-and-white. The story was cute, though Burton has done variations of Frankenweenie, what, five times now? Yeah, it's a lot of zombie dogs. The sountrack was amazing (as per the Danny Elfman norm) and I personally highly enjoyed this movie. Not bad at all.
Freddy vs. Jason
2/10
Well. That was an... Interesting movie. If anything.
... That is to say, anything other then complete idiocy.
First off, there's the storyline—basically, Freddy Krueger (A Nightmare on Elm Street) hires Jason Voorhees (Friday the 13th) to kill some people in his name so as to kill more people. Evidently, nobody actually remembers who he is, and because of that, he can't kill anyone. I find it quite hard to believe that NOBODY knows who he is anymore, especially because of the opening scene—a montage of quite a few gory (and some quite stupid) deaths from the previous Nightmare on Elm Street movies. Also, even though he says that "nobody" remembers him, most of the police officers not only REMEMBER him, but are so scared of him that they don't say his name out loud. So, my question is, why couldn't Freddy have just killed one of the police officers and have him do something to notify people of Freddy's return? Write a note or something about it beforehand, I don't know.
But anyway. So that works, Freddy's back, ta-da, problem solved, but Jason decides that he's just gonna go ahead and keep killing people. Freddy contacted him in a dream by pretending to be his mother—but wait, that brings up another question; how do those guys even KNOW each-other? Is there a movie-psycho union or something? I don't know. And another thing—it was explicitly stated early on that Freddy can't kill people, or even interact with them, unless they know who he is and fear him. So not only do these two somehow know each-other—which makes no sense—Jason is also evidently scared of Freddy. Which strikes me as a bit odd, considering that Jason actually ends up WINNING.
So, yeah. That's basically the plot for it, which sucks madly. There are also some stupid kids, and some kids in a psychiatric ward who were put there because they believe in Freddy and the people don't want him to be remembered—again, Freddy could have easily started killing them off—but anyway. The acting was mediocre, and of course the characters people have to act as suck also. Lame, stereotypical slutty teenagers—oh, and yes, this movie does have random breast-shots thrown in. I wonder why? (That was sarcasm. If you're not familiar with the genre, let me tell you right now that boob-shots, shower scenes, sex scenes, random nudity, et cetera are pretty normal staples for horror movies about teenagers.)
The overall tone of the movie was... Well... Um... *sighs* Okay, this is over. I'm done reviewing this. Sorry, but it's no use telling you everything else about the movie that sucked, because that includes basically all of it.Just take my word that it was bad.
Well. That was an... Interesting movie. If anything.
... That is to say, anything other then complete idiocy.
First off, there's the storyline—basically, Freddy Krueger (A Nightmare on Elm Street) hires Jason Voorhees (Friday the 13th) to kill some people in his name so as to kill more people. Evidently, nobody actually remembers who he is, and because of that, he can't kill anyone. I find it quite hard to believe that NOBODY knows who he is anymore, especially because of the opening scene—a montage of quite a few gory (and some quite stupid) deaths from the previous Nightmare on Elm Street movies. Also, even though he says that "nobody" remembers him, most of the police officers not only REMEMBER him, but are so scared of him that they don't say his name out loud. So, my question is, why couldn't Freddy have just killed one of the police officers and have him do something to notify people of Freddy's return? Write a note or something about it beforehand, I don't know.
But anyway. So that works, Freddy's back, ta-da, problem solved, but Jason decides that he's just gonna go ahead and keep killing people. Freddy contacted him in a dream by pretending to be his mother—but wait, that brings up another question; how do those guys even KNOW each-other? Is there a movie-psycho union or something? I don't know. And another thing—it was explicitly stated early on that Freddy can't kill people, or even interact with them, unless they know who he is and fear him. So not only do these two somehow know each-other—which makes no sense—Jason is also evidently scared of Freddy. Which strikes me as a bit odd, considering that Jason actually ends up WINNING.
So, yeah. That's basically the plot for it, which sucks madly. There are also some stupid kids, and some kids in a psychiatric ward who were put there because they believe in Freddy and the people don't want him to be remembered—again, Freddy could have easily started killing them off—but anyway. The acting was mediocre, and of course the characters people have to act as suck also. Lame, stereotypical slutty teenagers—oh, and yes, this movie does have random breast-shots thrown in. I wonder why? (That was sarcasm. If you're not familiar with the genre, let me tell you right now that boob-shots, shower scenes, sex scenes, random nudity, et cetera are pretty normal staples for horror movies about teenagers.)
The overall tone of the movie was... Well... Um... *sighs* Okay, this is over. I'm done reviewing this. Sorry, but it's no use telling you everything else about the movie that sucked, because that includes basically all of it.Just take my word that it was bad.
Friday the 13th
9/10
This movie was amazing. A great plot, and pretty good characters, for a horror film. A wonderful classic, it should be in anybody's collection. (Jason Voorhees for the win.)
This movie was amazing. A great plot, and pretty good characters, for a horror film. A wonderful classic, it should be in anybody's collection. (Jason Voorhees for the win.)
G
Green Lantern
7/10
Well, well, well. Look at this—a superhero movie reboot! Wow! It's not like THAT has been done before! ... Sarcasm. Anyway, it's the Green Lantern. You either know everything about it to an obsessive degree, or have no idea of anything other then there's a guy with a ring who fights a Vincent Price-looking red guy. But this movie is a prologue to all of that.
The fact that it IS a prologue to the actual story of the Green Lantern comics and et cetera means that the plot is pretty set out beforehand, so the story shouldn't be that bad... Right? ... Well, the answer is—it's not that bad. Surprisingly, yes, the story is actually not that bad. There are a few discrepancies, such as the fact that the idiot leaders of the group of good guys decide that the best way to stop a crisis that could destroy the world—which was caused by a mistake they made—is to repeat the EXACT SAME MISTAKE, causing ANOTHER crisis, even though by the time they made the world-destroying mistake again, the first crisis had already been stopped and there was no need to even bother trying to make the mistake again. No, I can find it in my heart to forgive (ridiculously huge) fails like that. The bad part is, there's just too much story. There's a crazy professor guy who you expect to be the main villain who ends up getting killed off before the final battle even starts. The main character is put through crazy amounts of stress and immediately accepts that all the crazy things happening are a reality—and so do his friends, who have never had it proven in even the slightest degree. That's the only real problem with this movie—just the story. There's an overabundance of it that just feels too rushed. If this were a TV miniseries or something, it would be at a more comfortable speed. It all happens ust slightly too quickly.
Also, the miniseries idea would be cool because the special effects in this film are AWESOME. No, seriously. It might not be (James Cameron's) Avatar-level, but it's still pretty cool to watch a hot, kickass guy in possibly the only awesome-looking spandex ever invented flying across space fighting a giant Cthulhu-looking freakshow while shooting green lasers out of his hands and trailing green fire behind him. That would be ridiculously cool for a miniseries, and in a movie it's no less epic.
So, in total, yes, Green Lantern is indeed a good movie, with nice action scenes, cool effects, and a story that—although a bit crammed at times—doesn't really affect the final verdict of the movie. Which is a seven of ten.
And now that my review is almost over; it's on to wondering how anyone WOULDN'T expect the quote-unquote “twist” ending, because if anyone knows anything about the Green Lantern, it's the villain. ... Or the fact that the main character wears green spandex. ... But, I've digressed. I gave this movie a seven, and a seven it shall stay. (Hal Jordan for the win. Sinestro for the loss.)
Well, well, well. Look at this—a superhero movie reboot! Wow! It's not like THAT has been done before! ... Sarcasm. Anyway, it's the Green Lantern. You either know everything about it to an obsessive degree, or have no idea of anything other then there's a guy with a ring who fights a Vincent Price-looking red guy. But this movie is a prologue to all of that.
The fact that it IS a prologue to the actual story of the Green Lantern comics and et cetera means that the plot is pretty set out beforehand, so the story shouldn't be that bad... Right? ... Well, the answer is—it's not that bad. Surprisingly, yes, the story is actually not that bad. There are a few discrepancies, such as the fact that the idiot leaders of the group of good guys decide that the best way to stop a crisis that could destroy the world—which was caused by a mistake they made—is to repeat the EXACT SAME MISTAKE, causing ANOTHER crisis, even though by the time they made the world-destroying mistake again, the first crisis had already been stopped and there was no need to even bother trying to make the mistake again. No, I can find it in my heart to forgive (ridiculously huge) fails like that. The bad part is, there's just too much story. There's a crazy professor guy who you expect to be the main villain who ends up getting killed off before the final battle even starts. The main character is put through crazy amounts of stress and immediately accepts that all the crazy things happening are a reality—and so do his friends, who have never had it proven in even the slightest degree. That's the only real problem with this movie—just the story. There's an overabundance of it that just feels too rushed. If this were a TV miniseries or something, it would be at a more comfortable speed. It all happens ust slightly too quickly.
Also, the miniseries idea would be cool because the special effects in this film are AWESOME. No, seriously. It might not be (James Cameron's) Avatar-level, but it's still pretty cool to watch a hot, kickass guy in possibly the only awesome-looking spandex ever invented flying across space fighting a giant Cthulhu-looking freakshow while shooting green lasers out of his hands and trailing green fire behind him. That would be ridiculously cool for a miniseries, and in a movie it's no less epic.
So, in total, yes, Green Lantern is indeed a good movie, with nice action scenes, cool effects, and a story that—although a bit crammed at times—doesn't really affect the final verdict of the movie. Which is a seven of ten.
And now that my review is almost over; it's on to wondering how anyone WOULDN'T expect the quote-unquote “twist” ending, because if anyone knows anything about the Green Lantern, it's the villain. ... Or the fact that the main character wears green spandex. ... But, I've digressed. I gave this movie a seven, and a seven it shall stay. (Hal Jordan for the win. Sinestro for the loss.)
The Grudge
10/10
I loved the plot, I love the characters, and those creepy green kids will stay with me forever. The premise was a bit uncreative, just the vengeful ghosts and all, but the actual plot was great. And besides, who can possibly not love a ceiling that's all spiderwebbed over with hair that tries to kill you? Honestly, great movie. (Karen for the win.)
I loved the plot, I love the characters, and those creepy green kids will stay with me forever. The premise was a bit uncreative, just the vengeful ghosts and all, but the actual plot was great. And besides, who can possibly not love a ceiling that's all spiderwebbed over with hair that tries to kill you? Honestly, great movie. (Karen for the win.)
H
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2
10/10
AAAAAAAAAAAWWW YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAH. That's basically all I have to say. This movie was just so... So... So great. The writing was absolutely spectacular, with each character bringing a new level of depth to the already genius plot scenario. Each scene seemed epic, monumental, pivotal, simply perfect, only to be somehow topped in perfection by the very next scene, each time. You could be simply touched one moment, only to find yourself metaphorically biting into a delicious-looking chocolate-chip cookie only to find that those chips were actually raisins. By which I mean you'll be angry at something you thought was amazing. And then, suddenly, you realize that the raisins were somehow actually chocolate and delicious and you're happy again! ... Basically, there's an unexpected (unless you read the book) twist.
The characters, of course, are simply stupendous in their diversity and depth. The personalities were flawless for the old, and for the new—of course, there are a few new characters to add to the mix, and at least one of them is likable. Also, one of the older characters goes from Longbottom to Sexybottom. If you know what I mean. *two dual eyebrow raises*
The Potter storyline is pure genius, and this movie provides a satisfying end to all the joy, sadness, love, and hate. The only thing I even REMOTELY disliked was the makeup during the final, epilogue scene. It just didn't cut it for me. Other than that, though; BEST. MOVIE. EVER. (Professor Minerva McGonagall, Professor Severus Snape, and Molly Weasley for the win.)
AAAAAAAAAAAWWW YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAH. That's basically all I have to say. This movie was just so... So... So great. The writing was absolutely spectacular, with each character bringing a new level of depth to the already genius plot scenario. Each scene seemed epic, monumental, pivotal, simply perfect, only to be somehow topped in perfection by the very next scene, each time. You could be simply touched one moment, only to find yourself metaphorically biting into a delicious-looking chocolate-chip cookie only to find that those chips were actually raisins. By which I mean you'll be angry at something you thought was amazing. And then, suddenly, you realize that the raisins were somehow actually chocolate and delicious and you're happy again! ... Basically, there's an unexpected (unless you read the book) twist.
The characters, of course, are simply stupendous in their diversity and depth. The personalities were flawless for the old, and for the new—of course, there are a few new characters to add to the mix, and at least one of them is likable. Also, one of the older characters goes from Longbottom to Sexybottom. If you know what I mean. *two dual eyebrow raises*
The Potter storyline is pure genius, and this movie provides a satisfying end to all the joy, sadness, love, and hate. The only thing I even REMOTELY disliked was the makeup during the final, epilogue scene. It just didn't cut it for me. Other than that, though; BEST. MOVIE. EVER. (Professor Minerva McGonagall, Professor Severus Snape, and Molly Weasley for the win.)
Hellboy
7/10
This movie was awesome. Hellboy and his friends are so kickass... I love the premise, as I usually do with supernatural things like this, and the plot was pretty good for a comic-book-based film. The characters were interesting, and I especially loved the ending. All-in-all, it was actually pretty good. (Hellboy for the win.)
This movie was awesome. Hellboy and his friends are so kickass... I love the premise, as I usually do with supernatural things like this, and the plot was pretty good for a comic-book-based film. The characters were interesting, and I especially loved the ending. All-in-all, it was actually pretty good. (Hellboy for the win.)
Higurashi no Naku Koro ni
2/10
(Watched Subbed)
This movie was an... Interesting take on the Higurashi phenomenon, if it can be called a phenomenon. In this movie, even I as a horror movie veteran was slightly surprised by the amount of gore. Now, don't get me wrong-- it isn't actually that gory compared to some other horror movies I've seen. But if you've seen the original anime that this movie is based on and shares a title with, then you'll know that although the murders are usually brutal, they only really show the taking place and not so much the aftermath. This movie does just the opposite, and although I do like the idea, I personally am still much more scared and/or psychologically impacted by watching them take place than seeing just the finished product. The only exception I can think of is when you see-- a certain person-- claw their own throat out. This movie also had an interesting take on the characters, and I do sincerely believe they really tried to make a worthy adaptation of the original anime, which is one of my personal favorites.
Unfortunately, that try wasn't exactly a success. The writers, directors, producers, scouters, and et cetera left out far too much in this movie from the anime that you know and love for it to be liked by any die-hard fans of the series. For example-- one of my biggest complaints is that they left out one of the main key elements in the story of the anime-- the Games Club!! In the anime, Mion leads a "game club", which is the most self-explanatory name I've ever really seen, whose members are Satoko, Rika, Rena, and herself-- and, in the beginning of the anime, Keiichi is invited into said club, and that is how all of them become good friends. This movie, however, completely leaves out that important pivotal point in the storyline. Quite honestly, I was rather dissappointed at the complete lack of information they give you about how Keiichi actually befriends Mion and Rena. Also, in the anime, Rika and Satoko are a rather large part of the plotline as well-- even if in this particular arc all they do is pull pranks, it's still adorable (And speaking of adorable, they also completely left out Rika's little "Nipa~!" What's up with that?!) and part one of my favorite elements of the anime, which is to have friendly hugs and humorous pranks one minute, and gruesome murders the next. However, as I said, this movie leaves that out, reducing the keep-you-guessing plot factor severely. And, also among the important things they've forgotten is Rena's "LIAR!!" or, in Japanese, Rena's "USODA!!" And that, if you don't know, is pretty darn scary in the anime. If you've watched it, you know we've all had nightmares from the sheer rage in Rena's voice as she yells it to the world. But this movie... RUINS IT. I mean, it wasn't even remotely frightening. I just cannot believe that they could leave out something like that.
There are also a few things that the people working on this could have easily fixed, but completely neglected to. First off, one of the most important things in virtually any movie on Earth-- the characters!! In the beginning of the review, I said how they interpreted the characters was "interesting", but I probably should have replaced "interesting" with boring, shallow husks compared to the real thing. They completely left out any and all of the required backstory for everyone save Rena and Mion, and Mion's is completely worthless to most people watching the movie. It just gives you an excuse to be scared, and even then you still don't really see why you should be unless, again, you've watched the anime. Not just that, though-- they also seriously messed up with the characters personalities. I mean, come on. Nobody even remotely resembles the character from the anime, not in personality nor in physical appearance, and the physical could be changed simply by getting a haircut for most of the actors! I can see why Rena's actor dyeing her hair brown could be a bit much-- I would do it if I were the actor-- but a haircut is even easier!! I'm sure the company would have provided it! I love Rena's signature hairstyle, and it actually kind of disappointed me that none of them looked anything like their characters. Even the simplest characters to duplicate, like Detective Ouishii, they just didn't even bother. The only people who looked anything like the actual characters were Mion, because of her ponytail, and Keiichi, because of his haircut. See? Haircuts, again! Really, people. ... Oh, but I must say-- speaking of haircuts, I noticed a bit of an error in one scene that involves cutting hair. When Keiichi stays a few minutes late after class, for seemingly no reason, he opens up an unoccupied locker, again seemingly for no reason, and finds a baseball bat. He wildly swings it around, and hits a desk or something, and Mion walks in. They have a conversation that's supposed to be one of the ones that creep you out and build up suspense, but just look closely at Mion once she pulls out a pair of scissors. She cuts her hair with the scissors, and it becomes raggedy and looks sort of like actual anime hair. Not three seconds later, they cut to a different angle and her hair is pristine and school-ready. After that her hairstyle proceeds to change around two or three more times randomly in the next two or three minutes while she talks (and laughs-- which is another thing gone horribly askew from the original, changing from terrifying cackles to wimpy high-pitched giggles) with Keiichi in the classroom.
In total, whether or not you remotely enjoy this movie depends on a few things. If you hate subtitles, then don't even bother, because as of yet there's no English-audio release and no plans for one. If you've seen the anime Higurashi no Naku Koro ni, then you'll probably think it's quite a disappointment compared to the original. And if you hated the anime, well, you'll probably hate this even more. The only way I can see anyone really enjoying this is if they've never watched the anime, but even then, they may not like it because the plot is far too sketchy and nonsensical if you don't know everything else behind it. ... I'd say if you were really, really dead-set on enjoying this, then I'd recommend not watching the anime, but then go and look up the Yamainu, Miyo Takano, Dr. Irie, and pretty much every other character in the movie on Wikipedia or something before watching this. ... But, wait... Then you'll still be disappointed at all of the plot that they left out... *sigh* Well, I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles. It'd be pretty hard to like this, unless you're really in the mood for some unseen Higurashi after seeing it all, but most would probably never want to see it again unless you like watching teenagers brutally kill and torture each-other. As for me, I do. ... Don't think I'm a freak. I just like horror, haha. ... But I've digressed. All-in-all, this movie is pretty darn terrible. (In my opinion, nobody in this movie was a worthy enough representation of their true character to deserve a "for the win". So, pretty much everyone for the loss.)
(Watched Subbed)
This movie was an... Interesting take on the Higurashi phenomenon, if it can be called a phenomenon. In this movie, even I as a horror movie veteran was slightly surprised by the amount of gore. Now, don't get me wrong-- it isn't actually that gory compared to some other horror movies I've seen. But if you've seen the original anime that this movie is based on and shares a title with, then you'll know that although the murders are usually brutal, they only really show the taking place and not so much the aftermath. This movie does just the opposite, and although I do like the idea, I personally am still much more scared and/or psychologically impacted by watching them take place than seeing just the finished product. The only exception I can think of is when you see-- a certain person-- claw their own throat out. This movie also had an interesting take on the characters, and I do sincerely believe they really tried to make a worthy adaptation of the original anime, which is one of my personal favorites.
Unfortunately, that try wasn't exactly a success. The writers, directors, producers, scouters, and et cetera left out far too much in this movie from the anime that you know and love for it to be liked by any die-hard fans of the series. For example-- one of my biggest complaints is that they left out one of the main key elements in the story of the anime-- the Games Club!! In the anime, Mion leads a "game club", which is the most self-explanatory name I've ever really seen, whose members are Satoko, Rika, Rena, and herself-- and, in the beginning of the anime, Keiichi is invited into said club, and that is how all of them become good friends. This movie, however, completely leaves out that important pivotal point in the storyline. Quite honestly, I was rather dissappointed at the complete lack of information they give you about how Keiichi actually befriends Mion and Rena. Also, in the anime, Rika and Satoko are a rather large part of the plotline as well-- even if in this particular arc all they do is pull pranks, it's still adorable (And speaking of adorable, they also completely left out Rika's little "Nipa~!" What's up with that?!) and part one of my favorite elements of the anime, which is to have friendly hugs and humorous pranks one minute, and gruesome murders the next. However, as I said, this movie leaves that out, reducing the keep-you-guessing plot factor severely. And, also among the important things they've forgotten is Rena's "LIAR!!" or, in Japanese, Rena's "USODA!!" And that, if you don't know, is pretty darn scary in the anime. If you've watched it, you know we've all had nightmares from the sheer rage in Rena's voice as she yells it to the world. But this movie... RUINS IT. I mean, it wasn't even remotely frightening. I just cannot believe that they could leave out something like that.
There are also a few things that the people working on this could have easily fixed, but completely neglected to. First off, one of the most important things in virtually any movie on Earth-- the characters!! In the beginning of the review, I said how they interpreted the characters was "interesting", but I probably should have replaced "interesting" with boring, shallow husks compared to the real thing. They completely left out any and all of the required backstory for everyone save Rena and Mion, and Mion's is completely worthless to most people watching the movie. It just gives you an excuse to be scared, and even then you still don't really see why you should be unless, again, you've watched the anime. Not just that, though-- they also seriously messed up with the characters personalities. I mean, come on. Nobody even remotely resembles the character from the anime, not in personality nor in physical appearance, and the physical could be changed simply by getting a haircut for most of the actors! I can see why Rena's actor dyeing her hair brown could be a bit much-- I would do it if I were the actor-- but a haircut is even easier!! I'm sure the company would have provided it! I love Rena's signature hairstyle, and it actually kind of disappointed me that none of them looked anything like their characters. Even the simplest characters to duplicate, like Detective Ouishii, they just didn't even bother. The only people who looked anything like the actual characters were Mion, because of her ponytail, and Keiichi, because of his haircut. See? Haircuts, again! Really, people. ... Oh, but I must say-- speaking of haircuts, I noticed a bit of an error in one scene that involves cutting hair. When Keiichi stays a few minutes late after class, for seemingly no reason, he opens up an unoccupied locker, again seemingly for no reason, and finds a baseball bat. He wildly swings it around, and hits a desk or something, and Mion walks in. They have a conversation that's supposed to be one of the ones that creep you out and build up suspense, but just look closely at Mion once she pulls out a pair of scissors. She cuts her hair with the scissors, and it becomes raggedy and looks sort of like actual anime hair. Not three seconds later, they cut to a different angle and her hair is pristine and school-ready. After that her hairstyle proceeds to change around two or three more times randomly in the next two or three minutes while she talks (and laughs-- which is another thing gone horribly askew from the original, changing from terrifying cackles to wimpy high-pitched giggles) with Keiichi in the classroom.
In total, whether or not you remotely enjoy this movie depends on a few things. If you hate subtitles, then don't even bother, because as of yet there's no English-audio release and no plans for one. If you've seen the anime Higurashi no Naku Koro ni, then you'll probably think it's quite a disappointment compared to the original. And if you hated the anime, well, you'll probably hate this even more. The only way I can see anyone really enjoying this is if they've never watched the anime, but even then, they may not like it because the plot is far too sketchy and nonsensical if you don't know everything else behind it. ... I'd say if you were really, really dead-set on enjoying this, then I'd recommend not watching the anime, but then go and look up the Yamainu, Miyo Takano, Dr. Irie, and pretty much every other character in the movie on Wikipedia or something before watching this. ... But, wait... Then you'll still be disappointed at all of the plot that they left out... *sigh* Well, I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles. It'd be pretty hard to like this, unless you're really in the mood for some unseen Higurashi after seeing it all, but most would probably never want to see it again unless you like watching teenagers brutally kill and torture each-other. As for me, I do. ... Don't think I'm a freak. I just like horror, haha. ... But I've digressed. All-in-all, this movie is pretty darn terrible. (In my opinion, nobody in this movie was a worthy enough representation of their true character to deserve a "for the win". So, pretty much everyone for the loss.)
The Hobbit: an Unexpected Journey
9/10
Really, how could you expect this NOT to be awesome?
Really, how could you expect this NOT to be awesome?
The Hunger Games
2/10
I hated this. I liked the books when they came out, but now that it's become so popular ("That is mahogany!" is the worst fucking excuse for a meme of all time) it makes me want to punch baby seals.
So don't watch this shit.
I hated this. I liked the books when they came out, but now that it's become so popular ("That is mahogany!" is the worst fucking excuse for a meme of all time) it makes me want to punch baby seals.
So don't watch this shit.
I
I Am Number Four
5/10
An okay supernatural-esque action flick. The plot and premise it has are some of the most overused in the movie business, and the characters are only mediocre. The relationship between the girl and the main guy was just adorable, though, and the guy is so protective. Anyway, it was just okay, nothing special. Although, what kind of scares me is that Number 6 looks exactly the way I imagined Maximum Ride while I was reading the Maximum Ride books. Literally, exactly the same. My mind was blown. (Number 6 for the win.)
An okay supernatural-esque action flick. The plot and premise it has are some of the most overused in the movie business, and the characters are only mediocre. The relationship between the girl and the main guy was just adorable, though, and the guy is so protective. Anyway, it was just okay, nothing special. Although, what kind of scares me is that Number 6 looks exactly the way I imagined Maximum Ride while I was reading the Maximum Ride books. Literally, exactly the same. My mind was blown. (Number 6 for the win.)
Inception
6/10
An okay movie. It had pretty cool special effects, and the plot was pretty good- it was just a bit confusing. And, it would've been better, except for the ending- they cut camera JUST before it shows you whether they're still dreaming or not. Curse that ending... (Cobb for the win.)
An okay movie. It had pretty cool special effects, and the plot was pretty good- it was just a bit confusing. And, it would've been better, except for the ending- they cut camera JUST before it shows you whether they're still dreaming or not. Curse that ending... (Cobb for the win.)
Insidious
7/10
Well, that was pretty awesome. I like the old-school violin music, and the old-school title popping up creepily at the very end. The plot was pretty good, even if it just looks like the traditional haunted child. But, surprisingly, the rest of the plot was pretty different from the other movies that use the same premise. The characters were okay- they didn't have much backstory, but that's alright in a horror movie. And, since it is a horror movie, the main factor should be how scary it is. And this thing pretty much delivers. I don't really like the haunting types of horror movies, I'm more into slashers. But this movie was actually pretty darn good. It's like Paranormal Activity 2-type scares, except it's actually scary. Somewhat scary, at least- maybe not as good as The Grudge or Friday the 13th- but it makes up for it in plot. (Which was awesome, for a horror film.) So, all-in-all, it was pretty good. (Specs and Tucker for the win.)
Well, that was pretty awesome. I like the old-school violin music, and the old-school title popping up creepily at the very end. The plot was pretty good, even if it just looks like the traditional haunted child. But, surprisingly, the rest of the plot was pretty different from the other movies that use the same premise. The characters were okay- they didn't have much backstory, but that's alright in a horror movie. And, since it is a horror movie, the main factor should be how scary it is. And this thing pretty much delivers. I don't really like the haunting types of horror movies, I'm more into slashers. But this movie was actually pretty darn good. It's like Paranormal Activity 2-type scares, except it's actually scary. Somewhat scary, at least- maybe not as good as The Grudge or Friday the 13th- but it makes up for it in plot. (Which was awesome, for a horror film.) So, all-in-all, it was pretty good. (Specs and Tucker for the win.)
In Time
6/10
This was a strange movie. Time is money, literally, and Justin Timberlake is poor. Some guy gives him a bunch of time, he moves into a big city, he gambles with a rich guy then kidnaps his daughter, and later Timberlake and the girl become gun-slinging Anarchists who steal time from the girl's father and give it to poor people.
Not bad, but it wasn't good either.
This was a strange movie. Time is money, literally, and Justin Timberlake is poor. Some guy gives him a bunch of time, he moves into a big city, he gambles with a rich guy then kidnaps his daughter, and later Timberlake and the girl become gun-slinging Anarchists who steal time from the girl's father and give it to poor people.
Not bad, but it wasn't good either.
J
Jonah Hex
5/10
A mediocre film. I mostly didn't like the western-y part. The characters were just okay, but I'll have to admit that the action scenes were pretty cool occasionally. That said, the fact that Jonah has gattling-guns on a horse is pretty weird. When the guns shot, I was eagerly anticipating the moment when the horse turned his head to the side or brayed while they were firing and shot itself in the face. Which, unfortunately, never came. Also, the music was a bit odd. (Because death metal was ALWAYS what people listened to in the old west! Sarcasm.) Anyway. It was just better than average, but still a LOT better than I thought it would be. (The snake-man for the win.)
A mediocre film. I mostly didn't like the western-y part. The characters were just okay, but I'll have to admit that the action scenes were pretty cool occasionally. That said, the fact that Jonah has gattling-guns on a horse is pretty weird. When the guns shot, I was eagerly anticipating the moment when the horse turned his head to the side or brayed while they were firing and shot itself in the face. Which, unfortunately, never came. Also, the music was a bit odd. (Because death metal was ALWAYS what people listened to in the old west! Sarcasm.) Anyway. It was just better than average, but still a LOT better than I thought it would be. (The snake-man for the win.)
Journey 2: The Mysterious Island
3.5/10
This was really mediocre. It had almost NO build-up before throwing the main characters into their situation, it used almost as many stereotypes as when you're talking to a white kid at a Kentucky public school, and it used a washed-out celebrity (i.e. The Rock) for publicity. It was just... Lame. I don't recommend it.
Unless of course you're going to go and wait for The Rock to start singing "What a Wonderful World" and then join in while doing a Louis Armstrong voice. I did it, mainly because of how lame the whole movie was.
It was worth it.
This was really mediocre. It had almost NO build-up before throwing the main characters into their situation, it used almost as many stereotypes as when you're talking to a white kid at a Kentucky public school, and it used a washed-out celebrity (i.e. The Rock) for publicity. It was just... Lame. I don't recommend it.
Unless of course you're going to go and wait for The Rock to start singing "What a Wonderful World" and then join in while doing a Louis Armstrong voice. I did it, mainly because of how lame the whole movie was.
It was worth it.
K
Kaidan
3/10
(Watched Subbed)
Well, I'm not gonna lie; this was pretty bad. Even though the director did direct a personal favorite of mine, Ringu, this is pretty darn horrid. My first impression was that the main character was stupid-- his facial expressions just make him look like a perverted simpleton-- but later on, I realized; "Hey, this guy is almost as bad as Itou Makoto!" (From the anime School Days. If you've watched it, you know what I mean-- but, then again, the main character of this (named Shinkichi) probably isn't quite so bad as Makoto. I despise Makoto...) So, he was bad, in my point of view-- and the rest of the characters weren't much better. Shallow, self-centered little people with no real motives or memorability. The plot was also pretty mediocre, may I even say quite cheesy and boring, and the same adjectives would probably also go with the premise. And, in total, everything "bad" that happens in the movie to Shinkichi (I say "bad" with quotations because I think the womanizing bastard deserves it) could've been completely avoided if he wasn't such a womanizing bastard. ... So, yeah. Not very good, this one... Not good at all... (Nobody from this movie deserves a 'for the win'. Hmph.)
(Watched Subbed)
Well, I'm not gonna lie; this was pretty bad. Even though the director did direct a personal favorite of mine, Ringu, this is pretty darn horrid. My first impression was that the main character was stupid-- his facial expressions just make him look like a perverted simpleton-- but later on, I realized; "Hey, this guy is almost as bad as Itou Makoto!" (From the anime School Days. If you've watched it, you know what I mean-- but, then again, the main character of this (named Shinkichi) probably isn't quite so bad as Makoto. I despise Makoto...) So, he was bad, in my point of view-- and the rest of the characters weren't much better. Shallow, self-centered little people with no real motives or memorability. The plot was also pretty mediocre, may I even say quite cheesy and boring, and the same adjectives would probably also go with the premise. And, in total, everything "bad" that happens in the movie to Shinkichi (I say "bad" with quotations because I think the womanizing bastard deserves it) could've been completely avoided if he wasn't such a womanizing bastard. ... So, yeah. Not very good, this one... Not good at all... (Nobody from this movie deserves a 'for the win'. Hmph.)
Knowing
6/10
A pretty interesting movie. I liked the plot a lot, the characters were alright... It was actually kinda scary at some points. But the way it played out was... Just a bit odd, I guess. (John Koestler for the win.)
A pretty interesting movie. I liked the plot a lot, the characters were alright... It was actually kinda scary at some points. But the way it played out was... Just a bit odd, I guess. (John Koestler for the win.)
Kung Fu Panda 2
6/10
Well, this is a kids movie that delivers, and I'm embarrassed to say that I kind of enjoyed it. It was super-cute, and it was exciting—for a kids movie, of course—and action-packed—again, for a kids movie—and it had some character drama—for a kids movie. So, what I'm trying to say is, it was good. As a kids movie.
However, it was a fast-moving, overly-stylized story with too much action and et cetera. The end was also rushed, because for SOME reason all of the best good-guys and their friends were ALL there at exactly the right time to save the world. Well, isn't that convenient. There was some drama, yes, but it was surprisingly intense (genocide) for a kids movie, making it sort of awkward because they're trying to cram a horrible act into a childrens film. Which usually doesn't work.
So, if you're a child, you'll like it. If you're a rather mature child, you'll like it in a slightly different way. If you're a serious adult businessman-type, you'll hate it. If you're a childish adult, then you'll like it. So, embarrassingly enough, I have to say that I enjoyed it. Just because it was childish, and I think I needed a dose of childishness... So, yeah. *sighs* So embarrassing... (Tigress for the win. ... Choosing a favorite character is somehow embarrassing too!! Stupid movie about a panda, embarrassing me so much like this... *mutter, mutter*)
Well, this is a kids movie that delivers, and I'm embarrassed to say that I kind of enjoyed it. It was super-cute, and it was exciting—for a kids movie, of course—and action-packed—again, for a kids movie—and it had some character drama—for a kids movie. So, what I'm trying to say is, it was good. As a kids movie.
However, it was a fast-moving, overly-stylized story with too much action and et cetera. The end was also rushed, because for SOME reason all of the best good-guys and their friends were ALL there at exactly the right time to save the world. Well, isn't that convenient. There was some drama, yes, but it was surprisingly intense (genocide) for a kids movie, making it sort of awkward because they're trying to cram a horrible act into a childrens film. Which usually doesn't work.
So, if you're a child, you'll like it. If you're a rather mature child, you'll like it in a slightly different way. If you're a serious adult businessman-type, you'll hate it. If you're a childish adult, then you'll like it. So, embarrassingly enough, I have to say that I enjoyed it. Just because it was childish, and I think I needed a dose of childishness... So, yeah. *sighs* So embarrassing... (Tigress for the win. ... Choosing a favorite character is somehow embarrassing too!! Stupid movie about a panda, embarrassing me so much like this... *mutter, mutter*)
L
Labyrinth
5/10
A strange movie. The story was pretty interesting, and I think the characters were pretty interesting, too, even if a little shallow. Plus, it has David Bowie. I mean, come on, you can't not like David Bowie. He's David Bowie. (Jareth the Goblin King for the win.)
A strange movie. The story was pretty interesting, and I think the characters were pretty interesting, too, even if a little shallow. Plus, it has David Bowie. I mean, come on, you can't not like David Bowie. He's David Bowie. (Jareth the Goblin King for the win.)
Land of the Lost
4/10
It was pretty funny-- but other than that, it had nothing. (Dr. Rick Marshall for the win.)
It was pretty funny-- but other than that, it had nothing. (Dr. Rick Marshall for the win.)
L: Change the WorLd
9/10
(Watched Dubbed & Subbed)
Kenichi Matsuyama played the character of L very well. The ending left me in tears; I mean, how could it not? Really, great movie. (L for the win.)
(Watched Dubbed & Subbed)
Kenichi Matsuyama played the character of L very well. The ending left me in tears; I mean, how could it not? Really, great movie. (L for the win.)
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
8/10
A pretty good rendering of Lord of the Rings. I liked Orlando Bloom as Legolas. (Legolas Greenleaf for the win.)
A pretty good rendering of Lord of the Rings. I liked Orlando Bloom as Legolas. (Legolas Greenleaf for the win.)
The Lord of the Rings: the Return of the King
9/10
An awesome rendering of Lord of the Rings. I think that all the actors played their characters extremely well. (Legolas Greenleaf for the win.)
An awesome rendering of Lord of the Rings. I think that all the actors played their characters extremely well. (Legolas Greenleaf for the win.)
The Lord of the Rings: the Two Towers
9/10
An awesome rendering of Lord of the Rings. I liked Orlando Bloom as Legolas. (Legolas Greenleaf for the win.)
An awesome rendering of Lord of the Rings. I liked Orlando Bloom as Legolas. (Legolas Greenleaf for the win.)
The Lost Boys
7/10
This was a great movie. I like the Frog brothers a lot; they were hilarious. The vampiric biker gang was a bit odd, but still. It was a good movie. (Michael Emerson for the win.)
This was a great movie. I like the Frog brothers a lot; they were hilarious. The vampiric biker gang was a bit odd, but still. It was a good movie. (Michael Emerson for the win.)
M
The Matrix
9/10
Wow, Neo is cool. And not just him; all of the characters in this movie were pretty awesome, even Agent Smith. And, even the minor characters without much backstory were still memorable. The premise is pretty cool, with the world being a fake and the machines taking it over... And the plot played out really well too. I love the ending, with Neo just flying off into the distance. Plus, who doesn't love watching Keanu Reeves dodge bullets? ... Nobody, that's who. (Neo for the win.)
Wow, Neo is cool. And not just him; all of the characters in this movie were pretty awesome, even Agent Smith. And, even the minor characters without much backstory were still memorable. The premise is pretty cool, with the world being a fake and the machines taking it over... And the plot played out really well too. I love the ending, with Neo just flying off into the distance. Plus, who doesn't love watching Keanu Reeves dodge bullets? ... Nobody, that's who. (Neo for the win.)
The Matrix Reloaded
7/10
Well, I'm kind of mad. It's not that this wasn't a good film or anything- I actually liked it- but it was nothing compared to the first. I mean, honestly, the first was probably better as a stand-alone film. That said, that doesn't mean this wasn't good too, it just means the first was better. In this movie, there was a little less storyline, but a lot more kickass. The Neo vs. Agent Smith fight scene in this movie is one of, if not the, coolest fight scenes I've ever watched. So, it was still an awesome movie; just not quite as good as the first. (Neo for the win.)
Well, I'm kind of mad. It's not that this wasn't a good film or anything- I actually liked it- but it was nothing compared to the first. I mean, honestly, the first was probably better as a stand-alone film. That said, that doesn't mean this wasn't good too, it just means the first was better. In this movie, there was a little less storyline, but a lot more kickass. The Neo vs. Agent Smith fight scene in this movie is one of, if not the, coolest fight scenes I've ever watched. So, it was still an awesome movie; just not quite as good as the first. (Neo for the win.)
Mega Python vs. Gatoroid
2/10
Wow. This was an epic fail of a movie. I'm pretty sure it was supposed to be so bad it was funny, but this wasn't even that funny. Except for one line- "Ooh, somebody had bitch for breakfast." That's hilarious. But other than that, it was really bad. (Dr. Nikki Riley for the win.)
Wow. This was an epic fail of a movie. I'm pretty sure it was supposed to be so bad it was funny, but this wasn't even that funny. Except for one line- "Ooh, somebody had bitch for breakfast." That's hilarious. But other than that, it was really bad. (Dr. Nikki Riley for the win.)
Men in Black
9.5/10
Men in Black II
7.5/10
Men in Black 3
8/10
MirrorMask
3/10
A pretty bad movie. It was pretty hard to understand, and the story was pretty hard to follow... It was just extremely confusing, so I didn't really like it. The premise was pretty cool, however, and I have a feeling that if I ever re-watched it, I'd probably like it a bit more. The art and animation was interesting, though, if nothing else... (Valentine for the win.)
A pretty bad movie. It was pretty hard to understand, and the story was pretty hard to follow... It was just extremely confusing, so I didn't really like it. The premise was pretty cool, however, and I have a feeling that if I ever re-watched it, I'd probably like it a bit more. The art and animation was interesting, though, if nothing else... (Valentine for the win.)
Mirror Mirror
3/10
The Mist
5/10
...... This movie... Was so... Depressing... In the beginning, you'd just think it was a horror movie about people trying to survive in a disaster, and that is most certainly the case here. I think this movie was actually done really, really well. The plot was a bit uncreative, but that doesn't really matter because the main focus of this movie is the characters. Each one had their own... Well, not personality, really, but will. Their will to survive and not go insane. Each person's will is what really made this movie work, why some people cracked under pressure and others didn't. There were characters you feel like going up to and punching in the face, like Brent Norton, and there were ones-- well, let me rephrase that. There was one whose death I smiled a bit at, a.k.a. Mrs. Carmody. There were ones I loved-- Ollie Weeks-- there were ones I felt horrible for throughout the entire movie (David Drayton). I already said it, but I can't stretch it enough-- the real core of this movie isn't the man-eating bugs/aliens/whatever they were, it was the characters. I may have given this a five out of ten, but that was because it was way too depressing for my taste-- and I'm the type of guy who rarely ever enjoys a happy ending. You'll probably really, really like it-- it'll just depress the hell out of you. It's like The Notebook for most people-- you always say you totally love it, but the end depresses you to the core. That's basically what this movie is, except instead of romance, it's horror/survival/psychological, and the ending is at least fourteen times as depressing. That's The Mist in a nutshell for you. (Ollie Weeks for the win.)
...... This movie... Was so... Depressing... In the beginning, you'd just think it was a horror movie about people trying to survive in a disaster, and that is most certainly the case here. I think this movie was actually done really, really well. The plot was a bit uncreative, but that doesn't really matter because the main focus of this movie is the characters. Each one had their own... Well, not personality, really, but will. Their will to survive and not go insane. Each person's will is what really made this movie work, why some people cracked under pressure and others didn't. There were characters you feel like going up to and punching in the face, like Brent Norton, and there were ones-- well, let me rephrase that. There was one whose death I smiled a bit at, a.k.a. Mrs. Carmody. There were ones I loved-- Ollie Weeks-- there were ones I felt horrible for throughout the entire movie (David Drayton). I already said it, but I can't stretch it enough-- the real core of this movie isn't the man-eating bugs/aliens/whatever they were, it was the characters. I may have given this a five out of ten, but that was because it was way too depressing for my taste-- and I'm the type of guy who rarely ever enjoys a happy ending. You'll probably really, really like it-- it'll just depress the hell out of you. It's like The Notebook for most people-- you always say you totally love it, but the end depresses you to the core. That's basically what this movie is, except instead of romance, it's horror/survival/psychological, and the ending is at least fourteen times as depressing. That's The Mist in a nutshell for you. (Ollie Weeks for the win.)
Monty Python and The Holy Grail
9/10
Well, that was hilarious. Watch this, please. This movie's plot actually has a rough storyline, the characters are all hilarious... And the humor is boss. Who doesn't cower in fear at The Knights Who Say Nii forcing you to get a shrubbery for them? Amazing. So, so amazing.
Well, that was hilarious. Watch this, please. This movie's plot actually has a rough storyline, the characters are all hilarious... And the humor is boss. Who doesn't cower in fear at The Knights Who Say Nii forcing you to get a shrubbery for them? Amazing. So, so amazing.
Monty Python's "The Meaning of Life"
7.5/10
As usual, Monty Python delivers a hearty helping of hilarity.
As usual, Monty Python delivers a hearty helping of hilarity.
Mortal Kombat
2/10
A mediocre action movie, and the characters and plot definitely left a lot to be desired. Although Scorpion's "Get over here!!" will never be forgotten. (Scorpion for the win.)
A mediocre action movie, and the characters and plot definitely left a lot to be desired. Although Scorpion's "Get over here!!" will never be forgotten. (Scorpion for the win.)
Mortal Kombat: Annihilation
1/10
Wow, this movie was horrible. Horrible plot, horrible characters, horrible acting. Just worthless... (Nobody gets a 'for the win'.)
Wow, this movie was horrible. Horrible plot, horrible characters, horrible acting. Just worthless... (Nobody gets a 'for the win'.)
The Mummy
6/10
An action-horror film about a mummy with Brendan Frasier. It was okay, with a very overused plot, but the characters were pretty interesting. (Richard 'Rick' O'Connell for the win.)
An action-horror film about a mummy with Brendan Frasier. It was okay, with a very overused plot, but the characters were pretty interesting. (Richard 'Rick' O'Connell for the win.)
The Mummy Returns
5/10
Another action-horror film about a mummy with Brendan Frasier. It was alright, a very overused plot, but the characters were still pretty interesting. Worse the second time, though, like they were dragging it out. (Richard 'Rick' O'Connell for the win.)
Another action-horror film about a mummy with Brendan Frasier. It was alright, a very overused plot, but the characters were still pretty interesting. Worse the second time, though, like they were dragging it out. (Richard 'Rick' O'Connell for the win.)
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
3/10
The third film in the Mummy series. Honestly, the first one was pretty good, the second one was alright, but I think they're milking it a bit too much here. Ah, well. (Richard 'Rick' O'Connell for the win.)
The third film in the Mummy series. Honestly, the first one was pretty good, the second one was alright, but I think they're milking it a bit too much here. Ah, well. (Richard 'Rick' O'Connell for the win.)
Mystery Science Theater 3000: the Movie
8/10
A pretty funny MST3k. It wasn't all that different from a normal episode, but you could tell that they had more budget by looking at the scenes with Dr. Forrester. My favorite quotes were "I suddenly have a refreshing mint flavor". "Now inserting toaster pastry", "... but I'm not an alien.", "Now, get back to the movie, you ninnyhammers.", "We're hickory-curing them", "Tinkerbell's going down!", "Give uncle Scrotor a hug!", "A giant flaming hat was seen over the coast tonight", and the part where they sing "Nor-mal VIEW!!" Over and over. ... And I guess there's not really anything else to say about that. (Tom Servo for the win.)
A pretty funny MST3k. It wasn't all that different from a normal episode, but you could tell that they had more budget by looking at the scenes with Dr. Forrester. My favorite quotes were "I suddenly have a refreshing mint flavor". "Now inserting toaster pastry", "... but I'm not an alien.", "Now, get back to the movie, you ninnyhammers.", "We're hickory-curing them", "Tinkerbell's going down!", "Give uncle Scrotor a hug!", "A giant flaming hat was seen over the coast tonight", and the part where they sing "Nor-mal VIEW!!" Over and over. ... And I guess there's not really anything else to say about that. (Tom Servo for the win.)
N
Never Mind the Bollocks, Here's the Sex Pistols
8/10
A decent documentary.
A decent documentary.
New Moon
4/10
Slightly better than the first Twilight film. But still pretty mediocre. Why did Edward have to leave? Not cool, man. Protect her, don't give up like that. Fool. (Edward Cullen for the win.)
Slightly better than the first Twilight film. But still pretty mediocre. Why did Edward have to leave? Not cool, man. Protect her, don't give up like that. Fool. (Edward Cullen for the win.)
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
8/10
This movie was great. I love how he can just invade their dreams and do whatever he wants. The characters were just alright, but it is a horror movie, so it doesn't really matter because most of them get killed off anyway. (Freddy Kruger for the win.)
This movie was great. I love how he can just invade their dreams and do whatever he wants. The characters were just alright, but it is a horror movie, so it doesn't really matter because most of them get killed off anyway. (Freddy Kruger for the win.)
A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)
6/10
Blithering, frog-like, pun-tastic idiot.
Those are the adjectives that—I feel, anyway—describe Freddy Krueger in the new remake of "A Nightmare on Elm Street".
It was scarier then the original in the way of describing the kids' pasts with Freddy, like the "secret cave", (that scared the crap out of me) but other then that, it was a bit of a disappointment. The only other good things were his puns... They were to die for. HAHAHAHAHA no.
I don't like what the sfx department did with Freddy's face at all...
Just a mediocre work... Too bad...
Blithering, frog-like, pun-tastic idiot.
Those are the adjectives that—I feel, anyway—describe Freddy Krueger in the new remake of "A Nightmare on Elm Street".
It was scarier then the original in the way of describing the kids' pasts with Freddy, like the "secret cave", (that scared the crap out of me) but other then that, it was a bit of a disappointment. The only other good things were his puns... They were to die for. HAHAHAHAHA no.
I don't like what the sfx department did with Freddy's face at all...
Just a mediocre work... Too bad...
The Night Train to Kathmandu
2/10
This movie was horrid. The characters were all just mediocre, the acting was only okay, (except for Milla Jovovich) and the plot looked like it was thought up by a three-year-old. Sure, Lily, definitely run away from home and live with some fourteen-year-old guy in a city that's invisible.Yeah, that definitely sounds normal. Not. I watched this only because it had Milla Jovovich in it, and she's the only reason I'm not giving this film a one out of ten. Ugh. For one, Brother Arjoon was a creeper. You don't see this Arjoon guy more than once, and all he does is hug Joharv. And to me, he just looked kind of creepy in that outfit. It probably had something to do with that Catholic priest fiasco... But, anyway. At one point, a professor is taking pictures of the alleged "invisible city", and Lily (Milla Jovovich's character) is all "Stop it, he'll die!! Come on, stop it, please, he's going to die if you keep doing that!" Really, Lily? He's going to die if that old guy takes a picture of some random disappearing buildings? No, he'll die if he doesn't get back to the city in a few seconds, but he's not gonna randomly keel over because some old man likes taking pictures of old, abandoned, and apparently invisible old houses. All-in-all, it was just a pretty darn bad movie, and even with Milla Jovovich, I would not recommend this to anyone over the age of seven. (Lily McLeod for the win. Brother Arjoon for the loss.)
This movie was horrid. The characters were all just mediocre, the acting was only okay, (except for Milla Jovovich) and the plot looked like it was thought up by a three-year-old. Sure, Lily, definitely run away from home and live with some fourteen-year-old guy in a city that's invisible.Yeah, that definitely sounds normal. Not. I watched this only because it had Milla Jovovich in it, and she's the only reason I'm not giving this film a one out of ten. Ugh. For one, Brother Arjoon was a creeper. You don't see this Arjoon guy more than once, and all he does is hug Joharv. And to me, he just looked kind of creepy in that outfit. It probably had something to do with that Catholic priest fiasco... But, anyway. At one point, a professor is taking pictures of the alleged "invisible city", and Lily (Milla Jovovich's character) is all "Stop it, he'll die!! Come on, stop it, please, he's going to die if you keep doing that!" Really, Lily? He's going to die if that old guy takes a picture of some random disappearing buildings? No, he'll die if he doesn't get back to the city in a few seconds, but he's not gonna randomly keel over because some old man likes taking pictures of old, abandoned, and apparently invisible old houses. All-in-all, it was just a pretty darn bad movie, and even with Milla Jovovich, I would not recommend this to anyone over the age of seven. (Lily McLeod for the win. Brother Arjoon for the loss.)
Ninja Assassin
7/10
Well, this plot is extremely overused in ninja movies- or all action movies, for that matter-, and none of the characters had any backstory other than Raizo... But it was worth it for the action. Even if most people say it was horrible; I felt like a fangirl when he SLICED A CAR INTO PIECES with a handful of shuriken. Or killed off ten or more ninjas who were all attacking him at once. It's a guilty pleasure, but it was just so cool... Watch it. (Raizo for the win.)
Well, this plot is extremely overused in ninja movies- or all action movies, for that matter-, and none of the characters had any backstory other than Raizo... But it was worth it for the action. Even if most people say it was horrible; I felt like a fangirl when he SLICED A CAR INTO PIECES with a handful of shuriken. Or killed off ten or more ninjas who were all attacking him at once. It's a guilty pleasure, but it was just so cool... Watch it. (Raizo for the win.)
O
An Occurence at Chihuahua City (short)
5/10
I won't lie--this film was good.
It was a thesis film made for a college class in 2008, if I remember correctly, and it was actually pretty well-made and written for something like that.
I also like the premise, because it was very inventive.
Sadly, the type of film it is just really isn't the kind of thing I'm into.
So you may or may not like it, depending on whether or not you know how Ambrose Pierce died. (He actually dissappeared after going into Mexico.)
And if you like reading Ambrose Pierce's work, then you'll like it.
But, again, it's just not my cup of tea.
I won't lie--this film was good.
It was a thesis film made for a college class in 2008, if I remember correctly, and it was actually pretty well-made and written for something like that.
I also like the premise, because it was very inventive.
Sadly, the type of film it is just really isn't the kind of thing I'm into.
So you may or may not like it, depending on whether or not you know how Ambrose Pierce died. (He actually dissappeared after going into Mexico.)
And if you like reading Ambrose Pierce's work, then you'll like it.
But, again, it's just not my cup of tea.
ODDSAC
9/10
This is weird, and it's trippy, and I love it. My favorite movie of all time is a visual album, so clearly I love that kind of thing. A friend of mine turned me onto this, and I'm very glad he did.
It's not really a coherent story, but it's still awesome. If you're like me, and you like weird things, ODDSAC is definitely something for you to check out.
This is weird, and it's trippy, and I love it. My favorite movie of all time is a visual album, so clearly I love that kind of thing. A friend of mine turned me onto this, and I'm very glad he did.
It's not really a coherent story, but it's still awesome. If you're like me, and you like weird things, ODDSAC is definitely something for you to check out.
Orphan
9/10
Okay, well, from the very beginning, this movie was going to give me nightmares. So, if you're looking for a scare (especially if you're watching it at the same time as your third-grade sister is having a sleepover with one of her friends, like I did) then this is definitely a good choice. In the opening sequence alone, the mother goes through childbirth, but halfway through, the doctors stort taking out... Torture devices, and the husband starts filming the wife and telling her she's doing great. Then, amidst the chaos, some doctor says that her baby is dead in the womb, and then he takes out the baby and says "Oh, here's your new baby" or whatever, and the baby is covered in blood and it's all disgusting and demonic... And then the wife awakens from a nightmare. So, there's the beginning of the movie for you. And, that's not all-- the rest of the movie will probably give you nightmares too. Especially if you're a mother-- which I'm not, because my being male seems to be a bit of a problem for that-- but even if you're not, you'll have nightmares all the same. Especially because of this eleven-year-old's insane acting. Really-- she's eleven. I mean, how does an eleven-year-old act in a movie of this extreme level of disturbing? Come on. She threatens to cut off a little boy's penis with a razor-blade, while holding the razor-blade to his crotch-- she breaks her own arm with a construction tool, she tries to seduce a middle-aged man... What kind of eleven-year-old could possibly do all of that, even in acting? It would scar them for life. She also gets into a sexual talk with her mother at one point, and after the mom says "You see, when two people love each other very much, then they want to... Express it.", the girl replies "I know. They fuck." Crazy parents is what that girl's gotta have. ... But, all I'm really doing here is spoiling it. I'm sorry. Basically, this movie was first-rate. I loved the plot, and the plot twist; the acting was amazing, especially on the eleven-year-old-girl front; the characters were all great... It's just a top-notch movie, all-in-all. My only real complaint is with the main girl's classmates. When she comes into school with a dress, one says "Oh, look, Bo-peep texted me, she wants her dress back." and everyone laughs. One: the joke wasn't even remotely funny. Two: these are third graders.Third graders. I don't know about you, but I definitely don't remember anyone in my third-grade class being that much of a bitch. Seriously. ... Well, I guess that's really all I had to say about that one. (Danny for the loss.)
Okay, well, from the very beginning, this movie was going to give me nightmares. So, if you're looking for a scare (especially if you're watching it at the same time as your third-grade sister is having a sleepover with one of her friends, like I did) then this is definitely a good choice. In the opening sequence alone, the mother goes through childbirth, but halfway through, the doctors stort taking out... Torture devices, and the husband starts filming the wife and telling her she's doing great. Then, amidst the chaos, some doctor says that her baby is dead in the womb, and then he takes out the baby and says "Oh, here's your new baby" or whatever, and the baby is covered in blood and it's all disgusting and demonic... And then the wife awakens from a nightmare. So, there's the beginning of the movie for you. And, that's not all-- the rest of the movie will probably give you nightmares too. Especially if you're a mother-- which I'm not, because my being male seems to be a bit of a problem for that-- but even if you're not, you'll have nightmares all the same. Especially because of this eleven-year-old's insane acting. Really-- she's eleven. I mean, how does an eleven-year-old act in a movie of this extreme level of disturbing? Come on. She threatens to cut off a little boy's penis with a razor-blade, while holding the razor-blade to his crotch-- she breaks her own arm with a construction tool, she tries to seduce a middle-aged man... What kind of eleven-year-old could possibly do all of that, even in acting? It would scar them for life. She also gets into a sexual talk with her mother at one point, and after the mom says "You see, when two people love each other very much, then they want to... Express it.", the girl replies "I know. They fuck." Crazy parents is what that girl's gotta have. ... But, all I'm really doing here is spoiling it. I'm sorry. Basically, this movie was first-rate. I loved the plot, and the plot twist; the acting was amazing, especially on the eleven-year-old-girl front; the characters were all great... It's just a top-notch movie, all-in-all. My only real complaint is with the main girl's classmates. When she comes into school with a dress, one says "Oh, look, Bo-peep texted me, she wants her dress back." and everyone laughs. One: the joke wasn't even remotely funny. Two: these are third graders.Third graders. I don't know about you, but I definitely don't remember anyone in my third-grade class being that much of a bitch. Seriously. ... Well, I guess that's really all I had to say about that one. (Danny for the loss.)
P
Paranormal Activity 2
1/10
This movie was lame. I haven't seen the first yet, as I'm writing this... But this one was just scarily bad. It's plot was spotty at best, the characters were mediocre... Not only that, but it wasn't very scary at all. You know how many times this movie scared me? Five times. It's no fun when the sequel to a critically-acclaimed horror film only scares you five times. Really, it was horrible. (Nobody from this movie deserves a 'for the win'.)
This movie was lame. I haven't seen the first yet, as I'm writing this... But this one was just scarily bad. It's plot was spotty at best, the characters were mediocre... Not only that, but it wasn't very scary at all. You know how many times this movie scared me? Five times. It's no fun when the sequel to a critically-acclaimed horror film only scares you five times. Really, it was horrible. (Nobody from this movie deserves a 'for the win'.)
Percy Jackson and the Olympians: the Lightning Thief
6/10
The plot was pretty good, I like the whole camp for demigods thing. The characters need work... Nobody had a backstory. Nobody. Except for the gods, or people you'd know about from reading mythology, but other than that, nobody had any backstory. The way it played out was cool, though. And I enjoyed Grover's comments. (Grover for the win.)
The plot was pretty good, I like the whole camp for demigods thing. The characters need work... Nobody had a backstory. Nobody. Except for the gods, or people you'd know about from reading mythology, but other than that, nobody had any backstory. The way it played out was cool, though. And I enjoyed Grover's comments. (Grover for the win.)
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
5/10
Hmm… Well, on this movie, I'd say it was actually exactly how I expected it to be. I was expecting to expect little but find it to be mediocre, and since I did expect to expect little and find mediocrity and that's what happened, I was exactly right. … I guess you could say I expected it to be mediocre and just leave out the first part where I expected it to be bad, but there are two reasons why I can't. Firstly, it wouldn't be true, and secondly, I'm trying to confuse you so you have to read the whole review. And if I left that bit out, you'd be less confused. So, yeah. Basically, I only kind of liked the movie. The plot was enjoyable, I guess, but the characters needed a bit of work. … Sort of. That's mainly because all of the characters are jerks. All of them. But that's okay, because they were nice jerks. … However that works. They had their good and bad elements. The only things I really liked about this movie were the beginning and the end. The beginning was really cool, and I loved it. The ending was also really cool, and I loved it. The main bulk of the movie, however, was mediocre, and a bit banal, to be honest. You'll probably like it better if you're a fan of the other movies, because if you aren't, it really won't make very much sense. Since I thought the other movies were just okay, and I hadn't seen them in a while, I didn't like this movie as much as others might have. I'd say you'll rather enjoy it if you liked the other movies, but if you didn't, then it will probably prove to be an item of mostly mediocrity. (Jack Sparrow for the win. Blackbeard for the loss.)
Hmm… Well, on this movie, I'd say it was actually exactly how I expected it to be. I was expecting to expect little but find it to be mediocre, and since I did expect to expect little and find mediocrity and that's what happened, I was exactly right. … I guess you could say I expected it to be mediocre and just leave out the first part where I expected it to be bad, but there are two reasons why I can't. Firstly, it wouldn't be true, and secondly, I'm trying to confuse you so you have to read the whole review. And if I left that bit out, you'd be less confused. So, yeah. Basically, I only kind of liked the movie. The plot was enjoyable, I guess, but the characters needed a bit of work. … Sort of. That's mainly because all of the characters are jerks. All of them. But that's okay, because they were nice jerks. … However that works. They had their good and bad elements. The only things I really liked about this movie were the beginning and the end. The beginning was really cool, and I loved it. The ending was also really cool, and I loved it. The main bulk of the movie, however, was mediocre, and a bit banal, to be honest. You'll probably like it better if you're a fan of the other movies, because if you aren't, it really won't make very much sense. Since I thought the other movies were just okay, and I hadn't seen them in a while, I didn't like this movie as much as others might have. I'd say you'll rather enjoy it if you liked the other movies, but if you didn't, then it will probably prove to be an item of mostly mediocrity. (Jack Sparrow for the win. Blackbeard for the loss.)
Pitch Black
5/10
Probably really, really cool for some, while others would think it's just okay. I'm the latter. I suppose I'm just not into this type of movie...? Well, maybe I am... Whatever. It did have some pretty awesome moments, but overall, I thought it was just okay. You will love it if you're in the mood for some sci-fi, though. (Riddick for the win.)
Probably really, really cool for some, while others would think it's just okay. I'm the latter. I suppose I'm just not into this type of movie...? Well, maybe I am... Whatever. It did have some pretty awesome moments, but overall, I thought it was just okay. You will love it if you're in the mood for some sci-fi, though. (Riddick for the win.)
Planet Terror
8/10
Damn, that's violent and hot.
Damn, that's violent and hot.
Priest
7/10
A pretty good movie. It didn't have exactly an extreme amount of depth, but I liked it anyway. I may not be Christian, but I have to say this- it's every thirteen-year-old Christian boy's dream movie. Seriously. Somewhat religious themes, and badass men of the cloth. Thirteen-year-old Christian boy's dream movie. Like I said, I'm not Christian, but even so, I still really liked it. The opening animated sequence was pretty cool, and the people were all pretty cool. The plot needed a lot more depth. And the ending was a bit badly done. But still- it's a guilty pleasure, I suppose. (Black Hat for the win.)
A pretty good movie. It didn't have exactly an extreme amount of depth, but I liked it anyway. I may not be Christian, but I have to say this- it's every thirteen-year-old Christian boy's dream movie. Seriously. Somewhat religious themes, and badass men of the cloth. Thirteen-year-old Christian boy's dream movie. Like I said, I'm not Christian, but even so, I still really liked it. The opening animated sequence was pretty cool, and the people were all pretty cool. The plot needed a lot more depth. And the ending was a bit badly done. But still- it's a guilty pleasure, I suppose. (Black Hat for the win.)
Prince of Persia: the Sands of Time
6/10
This movie was alright. The plot was interesting, if a bit uncreative. The characters actually were a bit stereotypical; the kidnapper guy, or prince, or whatever being easygoing but also worrying about saving the world from a dramatic evil... The princess complaining about being wherever she is, but actually ends up getting crafty and somehow helping... The pointless comic relief who is somehow important to the storyline later... So, yeah, stereotypical. It was still an okay movie, though. (Sheik Amar for the win.)
This movie was alright. The plot was interesting, if a bit uncreative. The characters actually were a bit stereotypical; the kidnapper guy, or prince, or whatever being easygoing but also worrying about saving the world from a dramatic evil... The princess complaining about being wherever she is, but actually ends up getting crafty and somehow helping... The pointless comic relief who is somehow important to the storyline later... So, yeah, stereotypical. It was still an okay movie, though. (Sheik Amar for the win.)
Pulp Fiction
10/10
Everything about this movie is fucking amazing. Best action movie of all time.
Everything about this movie is fucking amazing. Best action movie of all time.
Push
8/10
Premise was pretty cool. The plot was amazing, and I loved the way it played out. And the characters were awesome, too. I loved the powers that they had, and the screamers were my personal favorite. (Cassie for the win.)
Premise was pretty cool. The plot was amazing, and I loved the way it played out. And the characters were awesome, too. I loved the powers that they had, and the screamers were my personal favorite. (Cassie for the win.)
Q
R
Rasen
2/10
(Watched Subbed)
Okay-- don't watch this. That is really all I have to say; just don't even bother. I get that you might want to see it because it was the first sequel to Ringu, or you may have some other reason to see it-- and you can, if you want to. I'm not stopping you; it's just my personal advice not to bother with it. This movie was basically supposed to give you "answers" to everything-- like how the tape kills people-- and try to really conclude the plot-- but, unfortunately, it did a really bad job. This movie wasn't scary at all, and really didn't have a lot in common with the other Ringu movies. Instead of trying to save yourself from a video that kills people, this movie is mostly about the following; DNA, science, viruses, sex, bringing people back from the dead using science, DNA, and sex, and the basic end of the world. In my opinion, this movie was slow-moving, boring, and really, really hard to follow. The only reason this isn't a one of ten is because it's a Ringu film. I stated this before, and I'll state it again; don't even bother. (Nobody from this movie deserves a 'for the win'. Period.)
(Watched Subbed)
Okay-- don't watch this. That is really all I have to say; just don't even bother. I get that you might want to see it because it was the first sequel to Ringu, or you may have some other reason to see it-- and you can, if you want to. I'm not stopping you; it's just my personal advice not to bother with it. This movie was basically supposed to give you "answers" to everything-- like how the tape kills people-- and try to really conclude the plot-- but, unfortunately, it did a really bad job. This movie wasn't scary at all, and really didn't have a lot in common with the other Ringu movies. Instead of trying to save yourself from a video that kills people, this movie is mostly about the following; DNA, science, viruses, sex, bringing people back from the dead using science, DNA, and sex, and the basic end of the world. In my opinion, this movie was slow-moving, boring, and really, really hard to follow. The only reason this isn't a one of ten is because it's a Ringu film. I stated this before, and I'll state it again; don't even bother. (Nobody from this movie deserves a 'for the win'. Period.)
Reign of Fire
3/10
An okay movie. The plot was mediocre, and the characters were mediocre as well. The ending sequence was pretty cool- but the rest of the movie was seriously lacking. (Quinn Abercromby for the win.)
An okay movie. The plot was mediocre, and the characters were mediocre as well. The ending sequence was pretty cool- but the rest of the movie was seriously lacking. (Quinn Abercromby for the win.)
Resident Evil
10/10
This movie was so great! Really, it was amazing. Quite possibly the best movie I've ever seen. I absolutely love the premise, the classic zombie-apocalypse thing. The plot plays out extremely well, with the whole Umbrella Corporation deal and what happens with Spence. I love the characters, they have a lot of personality. I also love how the backstory for Milla Jovovich's amnesiac character Alice plays out JUST as it hits the climactic point. And another thing; the entire movie was just so kickass. Really, it was. Milla Jovovich flipping off of walls battling zombie hounds with nothing but a pistol? That, my friends, is what I like to call 'epic'. And not just that scene; like the final battle with the Licker? And all of the dramatic zombie horde fights? I used to watch this every night. Just an epic movie in general. (Alice for the win.)
This movie was so great! Really, it was amazing. Quite possibly the best movie I've ever seen. I absolutely love the premise, the classic zombie-apocalypse thing. The plot plays out extremely well, with the whole Umbrella Corporation deal and what happens with Spence. I love the characters, they have a lot of personality. I also love how the backstory for Milla Jovovich's amnesiac character Alice plays out JUST as it hits the climactic point. And another thing; the entire movie was just so kickass. Really, it was. Milla Jovovich flipping off of walls battling zombie hounds with nothing but a pistol? That, my friends, is what I like to call 'epic'. And not just that scene; like the final battle with the Licker? And all of the dramatic zombie horde fights? I used to watch this every night. Just an epic movie in general. (Alice for the win.)
Resident Evil: Afterlife
9/10
Another great addition to the Resident Evil film franchise. Not like I'm surprised. This time around, it was more of an action movie than a horror movie, but still. They all are like that, just this one more than others. It's not like that's a bad thing; you get to watch Milla Jovovich flip over a giant Axe-wielding maniac (whose existence is never actually explained...) and shoot him to death with quarters. Because her shotguns are now loaded with money. That is badass. The story was great, as per usual with this franchise. the characters were a bit underdone this time, though, other than Milla Jovovich's Alice. But, that aside, you get to see my favorite character from the games, Wesker, in action this time around, which made me very psyched for this movie. And I had right to be, because he was awesome; he sidestepped bullets, he has pet dogs that split in half down to the neck... And he took a shotgun to the face from point-blank range and lived. Half of his skull was missing. Alice, quite literally, blew his brain out. Really, it shows it, and his skull is now empty. One heck of a guy to be able to get up from that. And the surprise ending was nice, with Jill coming back somehow. A nice cliffhanger ending for once. So, it was a great movie. (Alice and Albert Wesker for the win.)
Another great addition to the Resident Evil film franchise. Not like I'm surprised. This time around, it was more of an action movie than a horror movie, but still. They all are like that, just this one more than others. It's not like that's a bad thing; you get to watch Milla Jovovich flip over a giant Axe-wielding maniac (whose existence is never actually explained...) and shoot him to death with quarters. Because her shotguns are now loaded with money. That is badass. The story was great, as per usual with this franchise. the characters were a bit underdone this time, though, other than Milla Jovovich's Alice. But, that aside, you get to see my favorite character from the games, Wesker, in action this time around, which made me very psyched for this movie. And I had right to be, because he was awesome; he sidestepped bullets, he has pet dogs that split in half down to the neck... And he took a shotgun to the face from point-blank range and lived. Half of his skull was missing. Alice, quite literally, blew his brain out. Really, it shows it, and his skull is now empty. One heck of a guy to be able to get up from that. And the surprise ending was nice, with Jill coming back somehow. A nice cliffhanger ending for once. So, it was a great movie. (Alice and Albert Wesker for the win.)
Resident Evil: Apocalypse
8/10
The sequel of Resident Evil. I liked this movie a lot. As per usual; I love the premise, the plot, and the characters. I like that they were in more of a rural setting than the first, with destroyed cars and old buildings rather than steel laboratory walls and lasers. It's not as good as the first movie- I don't think that's even possible- but it was still pretty awesome. (Alice for the win.)
The sequel of Resident Evil. I liked this movie a lot. As per usual; I love the premise, the plot, and the characters. I like that they were in more of a rural setting than the first, with destroyed cars and old buildings rather than steel laboratory walls and lasers. It's not as good as the first movie- I don't think that's even possible- but it was still pretty awesome. (Alice for the win.)
Resident Evil: Damnation
5/10
GOD DAMMIT LEON YOU'VE FAILED ME FOR THE LAST TIME
Other than J.D. the Russian homeboy, this was awful. Even the bloopers (which were the best part of Degeneration) were mediocre at best. BOO.
GOD DAMMIT LEON YOU'VE FAILED ME FOR THE LAST TIME
Other than J.D. the Russian homeboy, this was awful. Even the bloopers (which were the best part of Degeneration) were mediocre at best. BOO.
Resident Evil: Degeneration
7/10
A member of the Resident Evil franchise, one of my all-time favorites in movies and games. At any rate, the traditional Resident Evil plot is used with a variation that honestly isn't much of one; they basically just change the name of the virus. The main character is Leon S. Kennedy, or, as my friends and I have decided to call him, "Pretty-Boy Leon". (Have you seen him? He is a pretty-boy. I'm sorry, but it's true.) Leon is a cool guy, and the movie itself was just okay; but, it was Resident Evil, and I love that franchise so much I loved the movie anyway. Plus, the "Voice Bloopers" makes buying it completely worth it. Because his fee... Is way too good. Also, the ending theme is awesome. (Leon S. Kennedy for the win.)
A member of the Resident Evil franchise, one of my all-time favorites in movies and games. At any rate, the traditional Resident Evil plot is used with a variation that honestly isn't much of one; they basically just change the name of the virus. The main character is Leon S. Kennedy, or, as my friends and I have decided to call him, "Pretty-Boy Leon". (Have you seen him? He is a pretty-boy. I'm sorry, but it's true.) Leon is a cool guy, and the movie itself was just okay; but, it was Resident Evil, and I love that franchise so much I loved the movie anyway. Plus, the "Voice Bloopers" makes buying it completely worth it. Because his fee... Is way too good. Also, the ending theme is awesome. (Leon S. Kennedy for the win.)
Resident Evil: Extinction
8/10
The third movie in the Resident Evil franchise. It wasn't as good as the first, as usual with the franchise. It's just hard to beat that first movie. But I do know that, even if it wasn't as good as the first, it was still pretty awesome. I mean, the gang fighting off a bunch of infected crows that are trying to eat them? Alice trying to bend her telekinetic powers to her own control? Alice, at the very end, fighting that creepy mutant guy and then discovering all of the clones of herself? All of these things make for a pretty awesome movie. I love the final fight scene, when they have a little competition using telekinesis. Just plain awesome. And the ending was that dramatic pause as she looks over all of the clones, and then cut to the credits... That's just a great way to end a movie, with a cliffhanger like that. You're left thinking about what might happen for a while, it's pretty interesting. Anyway, it was an awesome movie. (Alice for the win.)
The third movie in the Resident Evil franchise. It wasn't as good as the first, as usual with the franchise. It's just hard to beat that first movie. But I do know that, even if it wasn't as good as the first, it was still pretty awesome. I mean, the gang fighting off a bunch of infected crows that are trying to eat them? Alice trying to bend her telekinetic powers to her own control? Alice, at the very end, fighting that creepy mutant guy and then discovering all of the clones of herself? All of these things make for a pretty awesome movie. I love the final fight scene, when they have a little competition using telekinesis. Just plain awesome. And the ending was that dramatic pause as she looks over all of the clones, and then cut to the credits... That's just a great way to end a movie, with a cliffhanger like that. You're left thinking about what might happen for a while, it's pretty interesting. Anyway, it was an awesome movie. (Alice for the win.)
Resident Evil: Retribution
6.75/10
A fifth Resident Evil movie? Damn, that's more screentime than the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy.
Sadly, this addition wasn't at all the best in the series. Almost no plot whatsoever, actually; but, hey, they had even more game character cameos, zombies, explosions, and Milla Jovovich. Mindless zombie-blowing-up Jovovich action, but hey, what's wrong with a bit of mindless action now and again?
A fifth Resident Evil movie? Damn, that's more screentime than the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy.
Sadly, this addition wasn't at all the best in the series. Almost no plot whatsoever, actually; but, hey, they had even more game character cameos, zombies, explosions, and Milla Jovovich. Mindless zombie-blowing-up Jovovich action, but hey, what's wrong with a bit of mindless action now and again?
The Ring
8/10
... Well, this was... Surprisingly enough, better than the original Ringu film. I won't compare this to Ringu 2, Ringo 0: Bâsudei, or Rasen-- because this wasn't made off of the series as a whole, only off of Ringu. I'll start off with the fact that this film, unlike Ringu, is actually pretty scary. In Ringu, when the people die from Sadako-- or, in this movie, Samara-- coming out of their TV, the camera just zooms up to their screaming faces and it turns into a grey colorscape, and then flashes into the future where police are looking in the person's body bag, or something. However, in this movie, they scream, and their faces twist and twitch and writhe, and their facial expressions are horrific by the time it's over. Also in this movie, the tape itself-- you know, the killing one-- was different, but I can't decide if it was more disturbing, less disturbing, or equal in terms of the disturbingness with the tape from Ringu. This one's tape was a bit more graphic, with a nail peeling off, while the one from Ringu had a more passively disturbing feel. ... Oh, and speaking of the tapes, I also noticed that in The Ring, the method of gathering evidence using the tape is different. They have to use some picture-stretcher thing, and a bunch of high-tech (or possibly low-tech, I'm not sure) machinery to see a lighthouse, and then they had to go and look up the lighthouse... It was much more bothersome-looking then in Ringu, where they basically see the word "Sada", and "ko" to it to make it a name, and Google the name. That's basically th extent of their research in Ringu. ... Now, this part is a bit random, but I had to put it here. First off, the girls at the beginning of the movie actually made me want to watch it more than the girls at the beginning of Ringu made me want to watch Ringu, simply because they were losers. In Ringu, the girls act halfway decently, and they aren't stupid or snobby or ganguro or anything. However, the girls at the beginning of The Ring were valley-girls, and they were all, like, totally talking in the weird, like, voice, like, you know what I'm talkin' about, girlfriend? ... Yeah, I just tried to type in a valley-girl voice. Don't judge me. And also don't judge me for randomly including that, along with this next bit that I found funny. When Naomi Watts's character, Rachel, is examining the tape at a store or something, and she tells the woman that she wants to watch it alone. Then, when the woman comes back, Rachel had a nosebleed. I don't know about you, but if that were me, I'd probably think she was watching porn. I'm just saying... But, I've been basically digressing this whole time. On to the real review. ... The plot I thought was nice, as usual, but I think the addition of the horses was rather unnecessary. I mean, really, all they did was help Rachel to get better Google-search results. Other then that, they had nothing to do with the plot, or at least not enough to be worth it to put them in the movie. ... Okay, maybe that's not entirely true. I guess they did have a bit or a role to play, but all I'm saying is that the plot could've been just fine without them. Onto the characters. They were... Okay, I guess. Not really much backstory other than Samara, but I guess that's okay. The ending, in my opinion, was better then Ringu's, even though they were virtually the same. I guess I just liked how they stopped it dramatically just before the credits in this, but in Ringu, I think they may have carried on for a few seconds too long. ... In short, a pretty good horror movie that you'll probably like better if you watch before the original Ringu. (Samara for the win. Anna Morgan for the loss.)
... Well, this was... Surprisingly enough, better than the original Ringu film. I won't compare this to Ringu 2, Ringo 0: Bâsudei, or Rasen-- because this wasn't made off of the series as a whole, only off of Ringu. I'll start off with the fact that this film, unlike Ringu, is actually pretty scary. In Ringu, when the people die from Sadako-- or, in this movie, Samara-- coming out of their TV, the camera just zooms up to their screaming faces and it turns into a grey colorscape, and then flashes into the future where police are looking in the person's body bag, or something. However, in this movie, they scream, and their faces twist and twitch and writhe, and their facial expressions are horrific by the time it's over. Also in this movie, the tape itself-- you know, the killing one-- was different, but I can't decide if it was more disturbing, less disturbing, or equal in terms of the disturbingness with the tape from Ringu. This one's tape was a bit more graphic, with a nail peeling off, while the one from Ringu had a more passively disturbing feel. ... Oh, and speaking of the tapes, I also noticed that in The Ring, the method of gathering evidence using the tape is different. They have to use some picture-stretcher thing, and a bunch of high-tech (or possibly low-tech, I'm not sure) machinery to see a lighthouse, and then they had to go and look up the lighthouse... It was much more bothersome-looking then in Ringu, where they basically see the word "Sada", and "ko" to it to make it a name, and Google the name. That's basically th extent of their research in Ringu. ... Now, this part is a bit random, but I had to put it here. First off, the girls at the beginning of the movie actually made me want to watch it more than the girls at the beginning of Ringu made me want to watch Ringu, simply because they were losers. In Ringu, the girls act halfway decently, and they aren't stupid or snobby or ganguro or anything. However, the girls at the beginning of The Ring were valley-girls, and they were all, like, totally talking in the weird, like, voice, like, you know what I'm talkin' about, girlfriend? ... Yeah, I just tried to type in a valley-girl voice. Don't judge me. And also don't judge me for randomly including that, along with this next bit that I found funny. When Naomi Watts's character, Rachel, is examining the tape at a store or something, and she tells the woman that she wants to watch it alone. Then, when the woman comes back, Rachel had a nosebleed. I don't know about you, but if that were me, I'd probably think she was watching porn. I'm just saying... But, I've been basically digressing this whole time. On to the real review. ... The plot I thought was nice, as usual, but I think the addition of the horses was rather unnecessary. I mean, really, all they did was help Rachel to get better Google-search results. Other then that, they had nothing to do with the plot, or at least not enough to be worth it to put them in the movie. ... Okay, maybe that's not entirely true. I guess they did have a bit or a role to play, but all I'm saying is that the plot could've been just fine without them. Onto the characters. They were... Okay, I guess. Not really much backstory other than Samara, but I guess that's okay. The ending, in my opinion, was better then Ringu's, even though they were virtually the same. I guess I just liked how they stopped it dramatically just before the credits in this, but in Ringu, I think they may have carried on for a few seconds too long. ... In short, a pretty good horror movie that you'll probably like better if you watch before the original Ringu. (Samara for the win. Anna Morgan for the loss.)
Ringu 0: Bâsudei
8/10
(Watched Subbed)
Well, this addition to the Ringu series was... Interesting. I liked how it focused on Sadako, and I also liked that she was in an acting troupe, because I love theatre. Except I don't get to go that often... But, anyway. The movie itself was the most violent of all the Ringu films I've seen so far-- that is, Ringu, Ringu 2, and this-- and it seems like they've been getting progressively scarier. Ringu wasn't really scary at all, it was more of a suspense thriller. Ringu 2 was actually pretty creepy in some parts. But this was pretty freaky and violent at some points. For example-- the most violent thing in the Ringu and Ringu 2 movies is, well, not violent. They never actually show the death scenes, they were usually implied. But in Ringu 0, that is not the case. You watch someone get beaten to death, come back from the grave to kill virtually everyone and watch them all die, and there are bloody hallucinations, and a hatchet murder, and... It's much more violent then the previous two, to say the least. However, this gain of terror and violence unfortunately makes the non-violent points seem like a campy 60's American ghost/love story film. This doesn't happen terribly often, but when it does, it basically made me want to fall asleep. And I almost did-- until I was awoken by a man screaming as he was burned to death by a table covered in candles. So, unfortunately, the plot was also a bit nonsensical at times, and the end still confused me a bit. I was thinking "Wait... She split in two? How does that work?" the whole time, and there really were a lot of confusing elements. Luckily, I have a feeling that Rasen will explain them. ... But I haven't watched it yet, so, no guarantees. But since this is a review for this film in particular, not a series, I'll say that it does have some confusing moments, but it is scary. And much better, if you watch the series. Just saying. Now, don't ask me why I'm randomly mentioning this-- but in the very beginning, when the random girl talks about her dream, and she's in the dilapidated old house, look out for one of the shadows that looks like a monkey. It doesn't jump out at you or anything-- but it looks like a chimpanzee or something. You know, random things to watch for. You're welcome. Oh, and one other random thing to watch for-- at one point, the subtitles (this movie is in Japanese) say "Amazing!! Performance really is the best medicine!" or something like that, but when the guy saying it talks, he sounds really depressed, even though the subtitles have exclamation points. ... So yeah. ... But anyway, now it's on to the characters. None of them really had a lot of depth or backstory, other than Sadako-- but unfortunately, her backstory is so confusing that I can hardly call it information. More like a word scramble. Oh, and one other thing about the characters-- there are at least two creepers in this movie. First, there's Mr. Shigemori. Do I really even need to explain this one? If you've seen the movie, you know what I mean. Can you say "PedoBear"? Yuck. The second creeper is Toyama. Now, I know what you're thinking-- "How can the main girl's love interest be a creeper?" Well, remember the scene where she faints and she wakes up in her apartment, and Toyama is there to serve her breakfast? Yeah, one question, Toyama-- how did you get into her apartment in the first place? Huh? ... I rest my case. Also, Sadako's "Dad" is officially one of my most hated characters ever. He caused one of the most depressing endings to a movie ever-- no spoilers, but if you've seen any of the other movies, it's as easy to guess correctly as it is to scroll down on this page to read more reviews. ... Which is pretty darn easy. And the music for the ending credits didn't help at all. So, the ending was depressing and scary-- but it was still a pretty good movie, all-in-all. (Sadako Yamamura for the win. Sadako Yamamura's "dad"-- I forget his name-- for the loss.)
(Watched Subbed)
Well, this addition to the Ringu series was... Interesting. I liked how it focused on Sadako, and I also liked that she was in an acting troupe, because I love theatre. Except I don't get to go that often... But, anyway. The movie itself was the most violent of all the Ringu films I've seen so far-- that is, Ringu, Ringu 2, and this-- and it seems like they've been getting progressively scarier. Ringu wasn't really scary at all, it was more of a suspense thriller. Ringu 2 was actually pretty creepy in some parts. But this was pretty freaky and violent at some points. For example-- the most violent thing in the Ringu and Ringu 2 movies is, well, not violent. They never actually show the death scenes, they were usually implied. But in Ringu 0, that is not the case. You watch someone get beaten to death, come back from the grave to kill virtually everyone and watch them all die, and there are bloody hallucinations, and a hatchet murder, and... It's much more violent then the previous two, to say the least. However, this gain of terror and violence unfortunately makes the non-violent points seem like a campy 60's American ghost/love story film. This doesn't happen terribly often, but when it does, it basically made me want to fall asleep. And I almost did-- until I was awoken by a man screaming as he was burned to death by a table covered in candles. So, unfortunately, the plot was also a bit nonsensical at times, and the end still confused me a bit. I was thinking "Wait... She split in two? How does that work?" the whole time, and there really were a lot of confusing elements. Luckily, I have a feeling that Rasen will explain them. ... But I haven't watched it yet, so, no guarantees. But since this is a review for this film in particular, not a series, I'll say that it does have some confusing moments, but it is scary. And much better, if you watch the series. Just saying. Now, don't ask me why I'm randomly mentioning this-- but in the very beginning, when the random girl talks about her dream, and she's in the dilapidated old house, look out for one of the shadows that looks like a monkey. It doesn't jump out at you or anything-- but it looks like a chimpanzee or something. You know, random things to watch for. You're welcome. Oh, and one other random thing to watch for-- at one point, the subtitles (this movie is in Japanese) say "Amazing!! Performance really is the best medicine!" or something like that, but when the guy saying it talks, he sounds really depressed, even though the subtitles have exclamation points. ... So yeah. ... But anyway, now it's on to the characters. None of them really had a lot of depth or backstory, other than Sadako-- but unfortunately, her backstory is so confusing that I can hardly call it information. More like a word scramble. Oh, and one other thing about the characters-- there are at least two creepers in this movie. First, there's Mr. Shigemori. Do I really even need to explain this one? If you've seen the movie, you know what I mean. Can you say "PedoBear"? Yuck. The second creeper is Toyama. Now, I know what you're thinking-- "How can the main girl's love interest be a creeper?" Well, remember the scene where she faints and she wakes up in her apartment, and Toyama is there to serve her breakfast? Yeah, one question, Toyama-- how did you get into her apartment in the first place? Huh? ... I rest my case. Also, Sadako's "Dad" is officially one of my most hated characters ever. He caused one of the most depressing endings to a movie ever-- no spoilers, but if you've seen any of the other movies, it's as easy to guess correctly as it is to scroll down on this page to read more reviews. ... Which is pretty darn easy. And the music for the ending credits didn't help at all. So, the ending was depressing and scary-- but it was still a pretty good movie, all-in-all. (Sadako Yamamura for the win. Sadako Yamamura's "dad"-- I forget his name-- for the loss.)
Ringu
6/10
(Watched Subbed)
This movie wasn't as good as I expected it to be. I'm not sure why, but I was expecting it to be really great. That doesn't mean it wasn't still pretty good; I just thought it would be better. Maybe that's just me. Anyway, it was pretty good. The characters were okay, because they didn't have as much backstory as they probably should have, except for Sadako. The plot was pretty good, I suppose. I like the psychic who is being exploited, and then her daughter takes revenge. I'm the type who finds that mother-daughter bond to be touching- you know, except for the killing-from-a-television part. (And speaking of which, what do they mean by "Ringu"? In the American version, the girl crawls out of a ring in the tv. However, in this, there's not even a ring that's a plot point in the entire movie! ... Well, unless you count the opening of the well, or maybe the mirror, but still... If there was anything other than that, I apparently missed it.) The ending was actually pretty good, you know, with what Reiko does about Yôichi. That was a Shyamalan-esque twist; somewhat predictable, but likeable nonetheless. My main complaint is the scariness; I expected a real horror film, with gore and scares- however, Ringu was more of a suspenseful thriller than a horror film. Perhaps my definitions of "horror" and "suspense" are quite different from yours or the other guy's, but whatever. To each his own, or however that saying goes. At any rate, it was still pretty good, so I'll continue with the Ringu series, and maybe if I watch it expecting more of a suspenseful thriller than a jump-out-at-you scarefest, I'll like the second one more. (Sadako for the win.)
(Watched Subbed)
This movie wasn't as good as I expected it to be. I'm not sure why, but I was expecting it to be really great. That doesn't mean it wasn't still pretty good; I just thought it would be better. Maybe that's just me. Anyway, it was pretty good. The characters were okay, because they didn't have as much backstory as they probably should have, except for Sadako. The plot was pretty good, I suppose. I like the psychic who is being exploited, and then her daughter takes revenge. I'm the type who finds that mother-daughter bond to be touching- you know, except for the killing-from-a-television part. (And speaking of which, what do they mean by "Ringu"? In the American version, the girl crawls out of a ring in the tv. However, in this, there's not even a ring that's a plot point in the entire movie! ... Well, unless you count the opening of the well, or maybe the mirror, but still... If there was anything other than that, I apparently missed it.) The ending was actually pretty good, you know, with what Reiko does about Yôichi. That was a Shyamalan-esque twist; somewhat predictable, but likeable nonetheless. My main complaint is the scariness; I expected a real horror film, with gore and scares- however, Ringu was more of a suspenseful thriller than a horror film. Perhaps my definitions of "horror" and "suspense" are quite different from yours or the other guy's, but whatever. To each his own, or however that saying goes. At any rate, it was still pretty good, so I'll continue with the Ringu series, and maybe if I watch it expecting more of a suspenseful thriller than a jump-out-at-you scarefest, I'll like the second one more. (Sadako for the win.)
Ringu 2
8/10
(Watched Subbed)
Well, all I can say is: it was better than the first one. It was a lot creepier, and actually kinda freaky in some parts, like in the pool scene towards the end, or the well scene that was also towards the end. However, the well scene was a bit odd in two ways. First off, the girl looked freaky at first, but when I saw her close-up, I just burst out laughing because she was made out of clay. Uh, fail at creepiness. the other thing was that, although they were climbing to the top of the well, when they exited, they popped up in the middle of a pool as if they were underwater. I guess that ws supposed to be supernatural and creepy, but to me, it was just stupid. The beginning of the movie struck me as oddly familiar, seeing as I thought it was just scenes from the original movie for the first five minutes until I realized it was a different main adult girl. Also probably because it showed the same small teenage girl smiling and talking about the "Scary lady that comes out of your TV". Another couple things that weirded me out were the scene where Mai and Yôichi are playing catch, and Mai goes "Nice catch!" ... In English. I watched this subtitled in English with Japanese audio, and somehow I don't think that "Nice catch" is Japanese for "Nice catch". There's also the error in one scene where they observe a girl in the room with the black padding on the walls. On the TV observing her, the padding is blue, but when you see the room it's black. What's up with that? And of course, you can't forget the scene where that guy who works for the news watches the interview with that random girl and she turns into Sadako. It was freaky at first -- however, Sadako then started to look like she was teabagging her chair. Which just made me have a fit of laughter for thirty seconds or so. There's also the scene where the old man throws Sadako's sculpted (I still don't get why they sculpted it...) head into the sea -- at that point, all I was thinking of was Clash of the Titans because it was just the beginning of Clash of the Titans. Except different. ... Then, of course, the scene where Mai confronts Shizuo and Sadako while they're taking turns with the mirror. Although I thought it was lame at first, Sadako's face popping up did scare me a bit, even though I was sort of expecting it. The pool scene towards the end of the movie, where Mai starts seeing the "land of the dead", was surprisingly creepy. Much creepier than anything from the first movie. Most horror movies won't really give me nightmares, because they're just jump-out-and-scare-you, and my room is usually pretty tranquil. However, that creepy pool scene might, and it's because it wasn't jump-out-at-you, it was more of a passive creepiness, like an undertone, but more prominent. ... So, basically an overtone? ... I don't really know, but it was definitely creepy. ... And those were my main complaints -- er, that is to sy, observations -- of some of the scenes. Now I'll talk about the characters in particular. I think there was a serious lack of development in the character of Mai. But that said, she was more of a pawn in the true game, and all the real players had their backstories fully explained. So, in my opinion, I liked the characters and character development a lot, even if they're notall completely explained. All-in-all, the plot is good, (although a bit hard to follow at some points) the characters are good, and even though it's not traditional jump-out-at-you horror, I still enjoyed it a lot. (Yôichi Asakawa for the win.)
(Watched Subbed)
Well, all I can say is: it was better than the first one. It was a lot creepier, and actually kinda freaky in some parts, like in the pool scene towards the end, or the well scene that was also towards the end. However, the well scene was a bit odd in two ways. First off, the girl looked freaky at first, but when I saw her close-up, I just burst out laughing because she was made out of clay. Uh, fail at creepiness. the other thing was that, although they were climbing to the top of the well, when they exited, they popped up in the middle of a pool as if they were underwater. I guess that ws supposed to be supernatural and creepy, but to me, it was just stupid. The beginning of the movie struck me as oddly familiar, seeing as I thought it was just scenes from the original movie for the first five minutes until I realized it was a different main adult girl. Also probably because it showed the same small teenage girl smiling and talking about the "Scary lady that comes out of your TV". Another couple things that weirded me out were the scene where Mai and Yôichi are playing catch, and Mai goes "Nice catch!" ... In English. I watched this subtitled in English with Japanese audio, and somehow I don't think that "Nice catch" is Japanese for "Nice catch". There's also the error in one scene where they observe a girl in the room with the black padding on the walls. On the TV observing her, the padding is blue, but when you see the room it's black. What's up with that? And of course, you can't forget the scene where that guy who works for the news watches the interview with that random girl and she turns into Sadako. It was freaky at first -- however, Sadako then started to look like she was teabagging her chair. Which just made me have a fit of laughter for thirty seconds or so. There's also the scene where the old man throws Sadako's sculpted (I still don't get why they sculpted it...) head into the sea -- at that point, all I was thinking of was Clash of the Titans because it was just the beginning of Clash of the Titans. Except different. ... Then, of course, the scene where Mai confronts Shizuo and Sadako while they're taking turns with the mirror. Although I thought it was lame at first, Sadako's face popping up did scare me a bit, even though I was sort of expecting it. The pool scene towards the end of the movie, where Mai starts seeing the "land of the dead", was surprisingly creepy. Much creepier than anything from the first movie. Most horror movies won't really give me nightmares, because they're just jump-out-and-scare-you, and my room is usually pretty tranquil. However, that creepy pool scene might, and it's because it wasn't jump-out-at-you, it was more of a passive creepiness, like an undertone, but more prominent. ... So, basically an overtone? ... I don't really know, but it was definitely creepy. ... And those were my main complaints -- er, that is to sy, observations -- of some of the scenes. Now I'll talk about the characters in particular. I think there was a serious lack of development in the character of Mai. But that said, she was more of a pawn in the true game, and all the real players had their backstories fully explained. So, in my opinion, I liked the characters and character development a lot, even if they're notall completely explained. All-in-all, the plot is good, (although a bit hard to follow at some points) the characters are good, and even though it's not traditional jump-out-at-you horror, I still enjoyed it a lot. (Yôichi Asakawa for the win.)
The Rookie
1/10
Well, this was a fail. Of epic proportions. Maybe it was because I don't have that much interest in sports, maybe it's because I was sitting with a friend who liked to make MST3k-esque comments, or maybe it was the random nuns that had almost nothing to do with the storyline that started randomly throwing potato chips (that were supposed to be flower petals) all over a desert for absolutely no reason. Or perhaps it was that a lot of the extras and side-characters really creeped me out. I'm not totally sure. But whatever it was, I really didn't like this movie. (Nobody from this movie deserves a "for the win".)
Well, this was a fail. Of epic proportions. Maybe it was because I don't have that much interest in sports, maybe it's because I was sitting with a friend who liked to make MST3k-esque comments, or maybe it was the random nuns that had almost nothing to do with the storyline that started randomly throwing potato chips (that were supposed to be flower petals) all over a desert for absolutely no reason. Or perhaps it was that a lot of the extras and side-characters really creeped me out. I'm not totally sure. But whatever it was, I really didn't like this movie. (Nobody from this movie deserves a "for the win".)
S
Scary Movie
8/10
Hilarious. Just hilarious. It's comedy, so I don't need to say that the plot was mediocre and the characters had no depth; but, in a comedy perspective, it was great. Just a hilarious movie. Not so much the quotability value; nothing much on that front. But you may just have to rewind it because you'll be laughing so hard that you'll miss another joke. (Doofy for the win.)
Hilarious. Just hilarious. It's comedy, so I don't need to say that the plot was mediocre and the characters had no depth; but, in a comedy perspective, it was great. Just a hilarious movie. Not so much the quotability value; nothing much on that front. But you may just have to rewind it because you'll be laughing so hard that you'll miss another joke. (Doofy for the win.)
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
10/10
This movie was hilarious. Just... Hilarious. You can quote from it all the time, too, because of its hilarity. Scott's actions are so stupid, he's just an imbecile, but that's what makes it so funny. I mean, really. "I just feel like I'm on drugs when I'm with you. N- not that I do drugs, unless YOU do drugs, in which case I do drugs all the time. Every drug." Scott, that is just a fail... But like I said, you can quote from it all the time. And it's just so funny with the comic-book-like actions they all do. I mean, really. "Scott earned the power of self-respect!!" It's just so funny. This is one of the best movies ever. (Scott Pilgrim and Wallace for the win.)
This movie was hilarious. Just... Hilarious. You can quote from it all the time, too, because of its hilarity. Scott's actions are so stupid, he's just an imbecile, but that's what makes it so funny. I mean, really. "I just feel like I'm on drugs when I'm with you. N- not that I do drugs, unless YOU do drugs, in which case I do drugs all the time. Every drug." Scott, that is just a fail... But like I said, you can quote from it all the time. And it's just so funny with the comic-book-like actions they all do. I mean, really. "Scott earned the power of self-respect!!" It's just so funny. This is one of the best movies ever. (Scott Pilgrim and Wallace for the win.)
Serenity
10/10
An amazing sci-fi film. Firefly is my favorite TV show, and this is an epic conclusion.
An amazing sci-fi film. Firefly is my favorite TV show, and this is an epic conclusion.
Sherlock Holmes
6/10
I liked this take on Sherlock Holmes a lot. The plot was pretty good, I guess... (Sherlock Holmes for the win.)
I liked this take on Sherlock Holmes a lot. The plot was pretty good, I guess... (Sherlock Holmes for the win.)
Signs
4/10
A mediocre M. Night Shyamalan film. The premise was medmiocre, and the plot was just okay... The characters were also just okay. Just a mediocre film in total. (Ray Reddy for the win.)
A mediocre M. Night Shyamalan film. The premise was medmiocre, and the plot was just okay... The characters were also just okay. Just a mediocre film in total. (Ray Reddy for the win.)
Silent Hill
7/10
Okay; what the heck. Before I say anything else, I have to talk about all of the "What the hell?!" moments of this movie. First off; the main girl is chased by the creepiest police officer I've ever seen in a movie that isn't supposed to be a pedophile. Really. She just goes and randomly starts talking to the little girl, and then the first thing she asks the mom is where the little girl is, and she stalks them... She's just too creepy in the beginning. She's still my favorite character, because she defended the mom with a nightstick; but still. The second "What the hell?!" moment; the girl bursts through a metal gate, runs from a police officer, and et cetera to get to an empty town. An empty town! Come on. If you're trying to get your daughter fixed in the head, go take her to a psychiatrist, not drag her into an empty town. The mom is just so stupid, ugh. The smaller "What the hell?!" moments include the part where she passes a store that just says "NATHAN DRUGS" on the sign. not "Nathan's Drugstore" or even "Nathan's Drugs"; no, it had to be "NATHAN DRUGS". Yeah. Also, there was the fact that the first monsters, the creepy burning baby things, are just the mandrakes from Harry Potter. Remember those, from one of the earlier Harry Potter movies, where they're in Herbology, and Neville Longbottom faints because of their shrieking? Yeah, those mandrakes. Take another look at the burning baby squadron, you'll see what I mean. Yet another small moment; the other mom, the one that looks like a hobo-- what's her name, um... Dahlia Gillespie, I think it was? Yeah, her. She was the peddler from Labyrinth! You know, Labyrinth, with David Bowie? Remember the scene where the main girl meets the peddler and the peddler tries to sell her her old teddy bear? Yeah. Dahlia is totally that peddler! It's weird. But, the only things I've been saying are random comments. I should probably get on with the actual review now... So, I will. Okay, to start, there's the plot. All I can really say on that is, it was a great attempt, but I think they could've done better. The whole "witch-burning" thing with the fanatic religion was a bit uncreative, as was the explanation for why the town was so creepy. ... Come to think of it, the aforementioned explanation wasn't just a bit uncreative; it was pretty weak. It's like they were trying to write something awesome, but then around that point they gave up. "Okay, guys, I can't think of how the burned girl causes it. ... Let's just throw in a random ghost with no explanation for its existence and have them high-five each other and then somehow curse an entire town, when neither of them were supposed to have magic powers in the first place. Got it? Good, let's get filming." It's sort of like that. And, again, with the magic powers thing-- so, although Alessa was supposed to be a good girl who never did anything, they punish her... And she suddenly becomes a real witch? I thought witches weren't really supposed to exist, which was why the cult was fanatical and stupid! What the heck. the last thing I'll complain about for the plot is the ending. What I really don't get is, (sorry for this spoiler) when in the beginning of the movie, the mom was trying to get back into her car, but it wouldn't start. If it wouldn't start, then how was it conveniently able to start later? Hello, writers? Discrepancy! *sighs* Also, the real ending-- I mean, the very last scene-- I really hated. I just hated it. Nothing is resolved, it tells you nothing about the mother's and daughter's situation... I can only assume they're ghosts now, or something? But they didn't ever die, so... It makes no sense. Which really annoyed me. ... To be honest, I'm not really all that sure why I liked this movie as much as I did. I think the only reason for that is the gore. You see, the first time I ever watched this, the horror movies I'd been watching recently before it were more passive horror, not the "Giant-guy-with-triangle-for-a-face-rips-your-skin-off-with-his-fist-and-throws-it-at-a-door" kind of horror. However, Silent Hill was that kind of movie, where that exact scene does happen, along with many other gory scenes, such as an entire church-worth of people being slaughtered by snake-like barbed wire that's being controlled by a seven-year-old-girl's mind. In that scene, my most hated character is ripped to pieces, so that may be another reason why I liked it. It was either a great movie or a mediocre movie that really depends on how you look at it to see if you liked it or not. If you really want some gore and guts and groups of scantily-clad nurses who look like they could burst into the thriller dance at any second, then you will love this movie. If you're more of a passive person who hates any and all violence, then you will throw up during this movie. If you're someone like me, who likes to take as many factors into consideration as possible, then you'd probably agree with slightly less than my seven of ten. The only reason this is a seven and not a six is because I really wanted to see some gore. That's basically it. Since it would really be closer to a six or a five, you'd probably just want to take that into consideration as a good opinion, if you think my opinions are good. Which I should rather hope you do, if you took the time to read this whole thing. (Cybil Bennet for the win. Christabella for the loss.)
Okay; what the heck. Before I say anything else, I have to talk about all of the "What the hell?!" moments of this movie. First off; the main girl is chased by the creepiest police officer I've ever seen in a movie that isn't supposed to be a pedophile. Really. She just goes and randomly starts talking to the little girl, and then the first thing she asks the mom is where the little girl is, and she stalks them... She's just too creepy in the beginning. She's still my favorite character, because she defended the mom with a nightstick; but still. The second "What the hell?!" moment; the girl bursts through a metal gate, runs from a police officer, and et cetera to get to an empty town. An empty town! Come on. If you're trying to get your daughter fixed in the head, go take her to a psychiatrist, not drag her into an empty town. The mom is just so stupid, ugh. The smaller "What the hell?!" moments include the part where she passes a store that just says "NATHAN DRUGS" on the sign. not "Nathan's Drugstore" or even "Nathan's Drugs"; no, it had to be "NATHAN DRUGS". Yeah. Also, there was the fact that the first monsters, the creepy burning baby things, are just the mandrakes from Harry Potter. Remember those, from one of the earlier Harry Potter movies, where they're in Herbology, and Neville Longbottom faints because of their shrieking? Yeah, those mandrakes. Take another look at the burning baby squadron, you'll see what I mean. Yet another small moment; the other mom, the one that looks like a hobo-- what's her name, um... Dahlia Gillespie, I think it was? Yeah, her. She was the peddler from Labyrinth! You know, Labyrinth, with David Bowie? Remember the scene where the main girl meets the peddler and the peddler tries to sell her her old teddy bear? Yeah. Dahlia is totally that peddler! It's weird. But, the only things I've been saying are random comments. I should probably get on with the actual review now... So, I will. Okay, to start, there's the plot. All I can really say on that is, it was a great attempt, but I think they could've done better. The whole "witch-burning" thing with the fanatic religion was a bit uncreative, as was the explanation for why the town was so creepy. ... Come to think of it, the aforementioned explanation wasn't just a bit uncreative; it was pretty weak. It's like they were trying to write something awesome, but then around that point they gave up. "Okay, guys, I can't think of how the burned girl causes it. ... Let's just throw in a random ghost with no explanation for its existence and have them high-five each other and then somehow curse an entire town, when neither of them were supposed to have magic powers in the first place. Got it? Good, let's get filming." It's sort of like that. And, again, with the magic powers thing-- so, although Alessa was supposed to be a good girl who never did anything, they punish her... And she suddenly becomes a real witch? I thought witches weren't really supposed to exist, which was why the cult was fanatical and stupid! What the heck. the last thing I'll complain about for the plot is the ending. What I really don't get is, (sorry for this spoiler) when in the beginning of the movie, the mom was trying to get back into her car, but it wouldn't start. If it wouldn't start, then how was it conveniently able to start later? Hello, writers? Discrepancy! *sighs* Also, the real ending-- I mean, the very last scene-- I really hated. I just hated it. Nothing is resolved, it tells you nothing about the mother's and daughter's situation... I can only assume they're ghosts now, or something? But they didn't ever die, so... It makes no sense. Which really annoyed me. ... To be honest, I'm not really all that sure why I liked this movie as much as I did. I think the only reason for that is the gore. You see, the first time I ever watched this, the horror movies I'd been watching recently before it were more passive horror, not the "Giant-guy-with-triangle-for-a-face-rips-your-skin-off-with-his-fist-and-throws-it-at-a-door" kind of horror. However, Silent Hill was that kind of movie, where that exact scene does happen, along with many other gory scenes, such as an entire church-worth of people being slaughtered by snake-like barbed wire that's being controlled by a seven-year-old-girl's mind. In that scene, my most hated character is ripped to pieces, so that may be another reason why I liked it. It was either a great movie or a mediocre movie that really depends on how you look at it to see if you liked it or not. If you really want some gore and guts and groups of scantily-clad nurses who look like they could burst into the thriller dance at any second, then you will love this movie. If you're more of a passive person who hates any and all violence, then you will throw up during this movie. If you're someone like me, who likes to take as many factors into consideration as possible, then you'd probably agree with slightly less than my seven of ten. The only reason this is a seven and not a six is because I really wanted to see some gore. That's basically it. Since it would really be closer to a six or a five, you'd probably just want to take that into consideration as a good opinion, if you think my opinions are good. Which I should rather hope you do, if you took the time to read this whole thing. (Cybil Bennet for the win. Christabella for the loss.)
Silent Hill: Revelation
7.5/10
Good, but not as good as the first movie, or the games.
Good, but not as good as the first movie, or the games.
The Sixth Sense
7/10
Well, it was pretty good. The premise was cool, and the plot played out nicely. However, it only took me the first five minutes to figure out the trademark Shyamalan twist at the end. The characters were alright. I feel bad for Cole, though, because of those bullies and the fact that he sees the damned. Cole trying to help all the ghosts was pretty cool, though. (Dr. Hill for the win.)
Well, it was pretty good. The premise was cool, and the plot played out nicely. However, it only took me the first five minutes to figure out the trademark Shyamalan twist at the end. The characters were alright. I feel bad for Cole, though, because of those bullies and the fact that he sees the damned. Cole trying to help all the ghosts was pretty cool, though. (Dr. Hill for the win.)
So I Married an Axe Murderer
9/10
Oh god, this is hilarious. Mike Myers is a boss...
"Woman! Whoa, man. Whoooooooooooa MAN!
She was a thief, you gotta belief, she took my heart and my CAT."
Oh god, this is hilarious. Mike Myers is a boss...
"Woman! Whoa, man. Whoooooooooooa MAN!
She was a thief, you gotta belief, she took my heart and my CAT."
The Sorcerer's Apprentice
5/10
It was alright. The plot was okay, and the characters were just mediocre. But, I have to admit, Nicholas Cage and the line about Depeche Mode made it better than it should have been. (Balthazar Blake for the win.)
It was alright. The plot was okay, and the characters were just mediocre. But, I have to admit, Nicholas Cage and the line about Depeche Mode made it better than it should have been. (Balthazar Blake for the win.)
This is Spinal Tap
10/10
GLORIOUS
GLORIOUS
Star Wars: a New Hope
11/10
So is this not famous and epic? It's famous and epic. Enough said.
Actually, I'm not reviewing any other of the movies, because this one is the best, and the rest of the original trilogy was a close second, and the new trilogy sucks major ass.
I think we're done here.
So is this not famous and epic? It's famous and epic. Enough said.
Actually, I'm not reviewing any other of the movies, because this one is the best, and the rest of the original trilogy was a close second, and the new trilogy sucks major ass.
I think we're done here.
Super 8
6/10
This was a rather enjoyable film. I liked the characters, because of their adorable childishness, and the addition of young romance (So cute, damn it!) helped too. The premise was pretty well-organized, and I suppose the plot itself played out nicely as well. It was a nice, innocent flick, and I do enjoy those a lot from time to time.
However, not everyone does. When I say the plot played out nicely— and it does— I'm leaving out the bit that it was quite one-track, and there weren't really any side-dramas to help improve. The only one of those would have to be the love triangle (have I said too much there?) which doesn't affect the plot in anyway. The only real action that springs from that is a two-minute temper tantrum, and since this is not a baby monitor, a temper tantrum is most certainly not a big highlight for the plot. There's also not enough backstory, with only Alice's father and the Joe's mother to really count, and that's virtually nothing. There are also a few plot errors, specifically in the main premise itself. First off, why do they even need to move this extraterrestrial being? I'm sure it could've been fine exactly where it was. There was really no purpose. ... However, that in itself may have been a little tip of the hat to the otherworldly obsessees of the world. It took place in Ohio, you'd notice if you payed attention when Charles and Joe were watching the news broadcast of the train crash. And, also in Ohio is the Wright Patterson Air Force Base— which, if you didn't know, is up there with Area 51 in the “alien hotspot” lists and such. But, not many people would notice that, so I would count it as a bit too coincidental. And another thing— during said transport, why wouldn't any of the Air Force members think to separate the alien and the materials to build his ship? It's rather a big error. I, personally, would definitely transport them in separate trains, if not on separate railroads.
In total, this movie would be pretty good for most, but if you're looking for errors, you'll spot them. I mean, if you do, it should still be good— but I'm harsh when I want to be. (Charles and Joe+Alice for the win.)
This was a rather enjoyable film. I liked the characters, because of their adorable childishness, and the addition of young romance (So cute, damn it!) helped too. The premise was pretty well-organized, and I suppose the plot itself played out nicely as well. It was a nice, innocent flick, and I do enjoy those a lot from time to time.
However, not everyone does. When I say the plot played out nicely— and it does— I'm leaving out the bit that it was quite one-track, and there weren't really any side-dramas to help improve. The only one of those would have to be the love triangle (have I said too much there?) which doesn't affect the plot in anyway. The only real action that springs from that is a two-minute temper tantrum, and since this is not a baby monitor, a temper tantrum is most certainly not a big highlight for the plot. There's also not enough backstory, with only Alice's father and the Joe's mother to really count, and that's virtually nothing. There are also a few plot errors, specifically in the main premise itself. First off, why do they even need to move this extraterrestrial being? I'm sure it could've been fine exactly where it was. There was really no purpose. ... However, that in itself may have been a little tip of the hat to the otherworldly obsessees of the world. It took place in Ohio, you'd notice if you payed attention when Charles and Joe were watching the news broadcast of the train crash. And, also in Ohio is the Wright Patterson Air Force Base— which, if you didn't know, is up there with Area 51 in the “alien hotspot” lists and such. But, not many people would notice that, so I would count it as a bit too coincidental. And another thing— during said transport, why wouldn't any of the Air Force members think to separate the alien and the materials to build his ship? It's rather a big error. I, personally, would definitely transport them in separate trains, if not on separate railroads.
In total, this movie would be pretty good for most, but if you're looking for errors, you'll spot them. I mean, if you do, it should still be good— but I'm harsh when I want to be. (Charles and Joe+Alice for the win.)
T
ThanksKilling
6/10
This was... A pretty damn good b-movie. The plot? Absolutely terrible. The characters? Super-stereotypical and lame. And the whole thing? It was almost as bad as Corn.
But you have to love it anyway! Freaking hilarious lines by the turkey, just really lame but awesome puns. "You just got stuffed!" and "Gobble gobble, motherfucker!" EPIC. This is possibly one of the most hilarious b-movies of all time. Budget? $3500.00. Yes, that's right--three-thousand, five-hundred dollars. Seriously, it was so bad you could tell that the beef jerkey sticking out of someone's mouth when his tongue was ripped out was food because you could still see his tongue under it! This movie is absolutely terrible... And absolutely hilarious. I'll recommend it to anyone who can stand (very much) gore (mainly comprised of lame, fake-looking jelly) and a lot of adult content and language. At any rate, it's very funny, and you should watch it. Totally. (The turkey for the win.)
This was... A pretty damn good b-movie. The plot? Absolutely terrible. The characters? Super-stereotypical and lame. And the whole thing? It was almost as bad as Corn.
But you have to love it anyway! Freaking hilarious lines by the turkey, just really lame but awesome puns. "You just got stuffed!" and "Gobble gobble, motherfucker!" EPIC. This is possibly one of the most hilarious b-movies of all time. Budget? $3500.00. Yes, that's right--three-thousand, five-hundred dollars. Seriously, it was so bad you could tell that the beef jerkey sticking out of someone's mouth when his tongue was ripped out was food because you could still see his tongue under it! This movie is absolutely terrible... And absolutely hilarious. I'll recommend it to anyone who can stand (very much) gore (mainly comprised of lame, fake-looking jelly) and a lot of adult content and language. At any rate, it's very funny, and you should watch it. Totally. (The turkey for the win.)
Thor
5/10
An okay movie. The premise was pretty cool, but the plot was just alright, though slightly worse than I thought it would be. The characters were... Interesting blokes, I'll give you that. The frost giants remind me of the aliens from I Am Number Four, and I also think that Loki is a complete douchebag. Those things (other than Thor's friends' epic-awesome outfits and me realizing that Volstagg is just a tall version of LotR's Gimli) were really the only major things that stood out about this movie. It's still a pretty cool premise, you know, but I guess it was just a bit too childish for my taste. (Volstagg for the win. Loki for the loss.)
An okay movie. The premise was pretty cool, but the plot was just alright, though slightly worse than I thought it would be. The characters were... Interesting blokes, I'll give you that. The frost giants remind me of the aliens from I Am Number Four, and I also think that Loki is a complete douchebag. Those things (other than Thor's friends' epic-awesome outfits and me realizing that Volstagg is just a tall version of LotR's Gimli) were really the only major things that stood out about this movie. It's still a pretty cool premise, you know, but I guess it was just a bit too childish for my taste. (Volstagg for the win. Loki for the loss.)
The Three Musketeers
7/10
This wasn't half bad. Not bad at all.
To be honest, my only real complaint would have to be the historical accuracy. I mean, this thing matched the original novel to a t. Flying war-blimp-pirate ship things with flamethrowers shooting over 10 yards at other airships, homosexual princes, a sexy Mill Jovovich, Da Vinci's vault...
What's that, you say? It wasn't historically accurate at all?
Then you'd be right. It was ridiculously off base.
But that doesn't mean it wasn't good. Movies are never faithful to their origins, especially in this day and age. It was a bit goofy, yeah, but it was still a pretty good movie.
And Milla Jovovich was in it, so you all can just be quiet.
This wasn't half bad. Not bad at all.
To be honest, my only real complaint would have to be the historical accuracy. I mean, this thing matched the original novel to a t. Flying war-blimp-pirate ship things with flamethrowers shooting over 10 yards at other airships, homosexual princes, a sexy Mill Jovovich, Da Vinci's vault...
What's that, you say? It wasn't historically accurate at all?
Then you'd be right. It was ridiculously off base.
But that doesn't mean it wasn't good. Movies are never faithful to their origins, especially in this day and age. It was a bit goofy, yeah, but it was still a pretty good movie.
And Milla Jovovich was in it, so you all can just be quiet.
TRON: Legacy
7/10
It was an interesting movie. I like the premise, and the plot was pretty good, too. The characters were great; the main characters were nicely and well-developed, and the minor ones actually had some backstory. It might have been slightly worse than I remember; I just had a great time going to see it. But this is my rating, so, it'll be how I remember it. At any rate, I liked it a lot. (Jeff Bridges's characters for the win.)
It was an interesting movie. I like the premise, and the plot was pretty good, too. The characters were great; the main characters were nicely and well-developed, and the minor ones actually had some backstory. It might have been slightly worse than I remember; I just had a great time going to see it. But this is my rating, so, it'll be how I remember it. At any rate, I liked it a lot. (Jeff Bridges's characters for the win.)
Twilight
2/10
I liked the book alright, but this was just bad. Bad acting, bad makeup... The works. (Edward Cullen for the win.)
I liked the book alright, but this was just bad. Bad acting, bad makeup... The works. (Edward Cullen for the win.)
U
UltraViolet
4/10
Well, this movie was... Awkward. I guess they were trying to be artsy and creative and different when they made this movie, and I can't say they weren't; but it was still awkward. I mean, Violet forms weapons out of her hands, and the gun she picks looks a lot like a stapler gun to me. The way they animated some of the people's faces? For me, that was just horrible. Choose one or the other, live-action or animated, not both. Also, if Violet in the beginning "Hated all humans", then why did she immediately want to to protect Six? For that matter, Violet never wears a mask. Wouldn't she really stand out in a crowd? "Oh, yeah, look for the girl without a mask whose hair changes color every three seconds." Finally, it was bloodless. BLOODLESS. And it's about "The Blood Wars"! How can it be nearly all bloodless (except for their hands at some points) when the main focus of the story is about blood? Anyway, it was pretty bad. However, it still gets 4/10, because it had Milla Jovovich and it was about vampires. (Violet for the win.)
Well, this movie was... Awkward. I guess they were trying to be artsy and creative and different when they made this movie, and I can't say they weren't; but it was still awkward. I mean, Violet forms weapons out of her hands, and the gun she picks looks a lot like a stapler gun to me. The way they animated some of the people's faces? For me, that was just horrible. Choose one or the other, live-action or animated, not both. Also, if Violet in the beginning "Hated all humans", then why did she immediately want to to protect Six? For that matter, Violet never wears a mask. Wouldn't she really stand out in a crowd? "Oh, yeah, look for the girl without a mask whose hair changes color every three seconds." Finally, it was bloodless. BLOODLESS. And it's about "The Blood Wars"! How can it be nearly all bloodless (except for their hands at some points) when the main focus of the story is about blood? Anyway, it was pretty bad. However, it still gets 4/10, because it had Milla Jovovich and it was about vampires. (Violet for the win.)
Underworld
9/10
I love vampires. I love werewolves. When they fight, it's awesome. When they fight in a good movie, it's even more awesome. When they fight in a good movie with an awesome plot, great characters, and extremely kickass fight scenes, it makes for one really epic piece of filmmaking. And, if you haven't guessed yet, I was just describing Underworld. Unfortunately, if I go on, I'll rant; so, better to just leave it at the fact that it was completely amazing. (Selene for the win.)
I love vampires. I love werewolves. When they fight, it's awesome. When they fight in a good movie, it's even more awesome. When they fight in a good movie with an awesome plot, great characters, and extremely kickass fight scenes, it makes for one really epic piece of filmmaking. And, if you haven't guessed yet, I was just describing Underworld. Unfortunately, if I go on, I'll rant; so, better to just leave it at the fact that it was completely amazing. (Selene for the win.)
Underworld: Awakening
9/10
THIS WAS SO COOL. Like, really. With humans as the enemies and all, what a tweeest! Very much worth your time.
THIS WAS SO COOL. Like, really. With humans as the enemies and all, what a tweeest! Very much worth your time.
V
Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl
4/10
Well; all I can say is that this movie was horrible. It was vulgar, racist, stupid, overly-gory, plotless... Just horrible. There's an "ultra-dark" club, which is basically just a bunch of Ganguros, (if you don't know, it's Japanese people who want to be black) there's a "Wristcut Club", full of emos, and those are both really creepy or horrible... There's also so much blood that it makes me want to puke. ... However-- don't completely blow this off yet. It was a b-movie of the highest grade-- which, to me, means that it was so stupid and horrible that you laughed out loud every few seconds. It was like the movie Alien vs. Ninja-- horrible, but hilarious. You probably won't like it if you're not a fan of these types of movies, but if you are-- and you can handle a lot of blood and guts-- then this movie is most certainly for you. It really depends on your taste. (Vampire Girl (Monami) for the win.)
Well; all I can say is that this movie was horrible. It was vulgar, racist, stupid, overly-gory, plotless... Just horrible. There's an "ultra-dark" club, which is basically just a bunch of Ganguros, (if you don't know, it's Japanese people who want to be black) there's a "Wristcut Club", full of emos, and those are both really creepy or horrible... There's also so much blood that it makes me want to puke. ... However-- don't completely blow this off yet. It was a b-movie of the highest grade-- which, to me, means that it was so stupid and horrible that you laughed out loud every few seconds. It was like the movie Alien vs. Ninja-- horrible, but hilarious. You probably won't like it if you're not a fan of these types of movies, but if you are-- and you can handle a lot of blood and guts-- then this movie is most certainly for you. It really depends on your taste. (Vampire Girl (Monami) for the win.)
Vampires Suck
7/10
Wow, this was hilarious. And you can quote from it all day and people will stil be laughing. Really. "I know what you are. You're pale, you dress fashionably, and you abstain from sex." "Say it. Out loud." "... Jonas brother!" Truly hilarious. No real plot, and no real characters; but it's comedy, so does it really matter? (Becca Crane for the win.)
Wow, this was hilarious. And you can quote from it all day and people will stil be laughing. Really. "I know what you are. You're pale, you dress fashionably, and you abstain from sex." "Say it. Out loud." "... Jonas brother!" Truly hilarious. No real plot, and no real characters; but it's comedy, so does it really matter? (Becca Crane for the win.)
Van Helsing
6/10
I liked the plot, and the premise. The characters were just alright. But I do like how they combined all of those different monsters into one movie. The action scenes were pretty cool, too. (Van Helsing for the win.)
I liked the plot, and the premise. The characters were just alright. But I do like how they combined all of those different monsters into one movie. The action scenes were pretty cool, too. (Van Helsing for the win.)
The Village
5/10
Another M. Night Shyamalan film. I rather liked the premise and plot. However, like in The Sixth Sense, I guessed the twist around five minutes in. The characters were just okay... All-in-all, it was a pretty in-the-middle film. (Guard at Desk for the win.)
Another M. Night Shyamalan film. I rather liked the premise and plot. However, like in The Sixth Sense, I guessed the twist around five minutes in. The characters were just okay... All-in-all, it was a pretty in-the-middle film. (Guard at Desk for the win.)
W
(Pink Floyd's) The Wall
10/10
This is probably my favorite movie of all time.
The album was amazing, and this movie is amazing. Especially the animated sequences, though they are a bit creepy...
This is probably my favorite movie of all time.
The album was amazing, and this movie is amazing. Especially the animated sequences, though they are a bit creepy...
Water for Elephants
9/10
This movie was amazing. AMAZING. Really, I loved it. The plot was really great— it was interesting the whole way through, and the ending was also amazing. I love the characters— except for August, he's a motherf*cker. I hate that guy so much, it's not even funny. At first, I thought "Oh, he looks like a fun guy!" But, no. Evidently not. … But, anyway. The characters really were great. They all had some depth and all different personalities, so it made the plot even more interesting then it was in the first place. I liked pretty much all of it. The only thing I have to say, though, is this— if it's taking place during the Great Depression, then why does Robert Pattinson have spiky hair? Really, that doesn't make sense. But that's really my only complaint. The ending was also amazing, and that old guy who is supposed to be Robert Pattinson as an old man is awesome. He had an awesome face. … Don't judge me. But anyway, all-in-all, it was a pretty great movie. Definitely recommended. (Jacob Jankowski for the win. August for the loss.)
This movie was amazing. AMAZING. Really, I loved it. The plot was really great— it was interesting the whole way through, and the ending was also amazing. I love the characters— except for August, he's a motherf*cker. I hate that guy so much, it's not even funny. At first, I thought "Oh, he looks like a fun guy!" But, no. Evidently not. … But, anyway. The characters really were great. They all had some depth and all different personalities, so it made the plot even more interesting then it was in the first place. I liked pretty much all of it. The only thing I have to say, though, is this— if it's taking place during the Great Depression, then why does Robert Pattinson have spiky hair? Really, that doesn't make sense. But that's really my only complaint. The ending was also amazing, and that old guy who is supposed to be Robert Pattinson as an old man is awesome. He had an awesome face. … Don't judge me. But anyway, all-in-all, it was a pretty great movie. Definitely recommended. (Jacob Jankowski for the win. August for the loss.)
Wreck-It Ralph
9.5/10
This is probably the best Disney animated movie of all time.
Not even kidding.
This is probably the best Disney animated movie of all time.
Not even kidding.
X
X-Men: First Class
7/10
A pretty well-organized film, especially considering it's a superhero movie. Now, I'm not a superhero buff or anything— in fact, I actually had never really heard of the X-men until a few years back when the first X-men movie was released— but I liked this. The plot had a considerable amount of twists— again, especially since it's a superhero movie— and it also has a “surprise ending”, which isn't really a surprise if you know absolutely the bare minimum about X-men. It also surprisingly worked in a bit of character drama, and even though it mainly has to do with the fact that the characters are mutants, it still has more than most other superhero films. The fact that it was able to make you actually feel sympathy for some of the characters was— and I'm sorry for having to say this so much— extremely great, for a superhero movie. Basically, if you're only comparing it to superhero movies, it's the cream of the crop. And even compared to all types of movies, it was a pretty well-written and well-done piece of work.
The only real downer is that your opinion will probably differ substantially depending on how much you know about or care about the X-men. To be completely honest, my recommendation for the best viewing experience is to know either absolutely nothing about the X-men or everything about it. If you're in-between, you'll probably know all of the things that are obvious and stupid and have the ending spoiled, which would make it worse for you, and the things you wouldn't know would make you miss most of the cameos and hidden connections that are shoved inconspicuously into the movie.If you know absolutely nothing, and care even slightly about superhero movies, you'll be that much more surprised by the twists and engrossed into the whole movie, and the ending will be a slight twist, so you'll probably have a good experience.If you know everything about it— and actually care— then even though you'll know everything that will happen, you'll probably enjoy it as a bit of a different take on the world of the X-men and their comrades. Also, you'll be able to catch all of the cameos and extra bits that those uneducated in the field of superheroes would miss, and have a bit of enjoyment out of that.
So, in total, it would be a different experience depending really on whether or not you know about the X-men, and also whether or not you give a care about this kind of thing at all. But, you know what they say; different strokes for different blokes, am I right? ... I mean, I guess that's how it is for everything... But still. You know what I mean. (Mistique (Raven) for the win.)
A pretty well-organized film, especially considering it's a superhero movie. Now, I'm not a superhero buff or anything— in fact, I actually had never really heard of the X-men until a few years back when the first X-men movie was released— but I liked this. The plot had a considerable amount of twists— again, especially since it's a superhero movie— and it also has a “surprise ending”, which isn't really a surprise if you know absolutely the bare minimum about X-men. It also surprisingly worked in a bit of character drama, and even though it mainly has to do with the fact that the characters are mutants, it still has more than most other superhero films. The fact that it was able to make you actually feel sympathy for some of the characters was— and I'm sorry for having to say this so much— extremely great, for a superhero movie. Basically, if you're only comparing it to superhero movies, it's the cream of the crop. And even compared to all types of movies, it was a pretty well-written and well-done piece of work.
The only real downer is that your opinion will probably differ substantially depending on how much you know about or care about the X-men. To be completely honest, my recommendation for the best viewing experience is to know either absolutely nothing about the X-men or everything about it. If you're in-between, you'll probably know all of the things that are obvious and stupid and have the ending spoiled, which would make it worse for you, and the things you wouldn't know would make you miss most of the cameos and hidden connections that are shoved inconspicuously into the movie.If you know absolutely nothing, and care even slightly about superhero movies, you'll be that much more surprised by the twists and engrossed into the whole movie, and the ending will be a slight twist, so you'll probably have a good experience.If you know everything about it— and actually care— then even though you'll know everything that will happen, you'll probably enjoy it as a bit of a different take on the world of the X-men and their comrades. Also, you'll be able to catch all of the cameos and extra bits that those uneducated in the field of superheroes would miss, and have a bit of enjoyment out of that.
So, in total, it would be a different experience depending really on whether or not you know about the X-men, and also whether or not you give a care about this kind of thing at all. But, you know what they say; different strokes for different blokes, am I right? ... I mean, I guess that's how it is for everything... But still. You know what I mean. (Mistique (Raven) for the win.)
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
2/10
The first time i saw this, I thought it was completely epic. The second time, I realized it was a complete failure. I mean, really. The plot was horrid; it was basically just Hugh Jackman finding a person that can take him from point A to point B, then another to take him from point B to point C, and so on. The characters, too, were pretty bad. Just a bad movie in general. (Deadpool for the win.)
The first time i saw this, I thought it was completely epic. The second time, I realized it was a complete failure. I mean, really. The plot was horrid; it was basically just Hugh Jackman finding a person that can take him from point A to point B, then another to take him from point B to point C, and so on. The characters, too, were pretty bad. Just a bad movie in general. (Deadpool for the win.)
Y
Z
Zombieland
6/10
Pretty funny. Not super-hilarious, but, it was pretty funny. I like the rules, and Tallahassee's search for a Twinkie. Besides which, one of the most hilarious quotes ever; "Time to nut up or shut up." But it wasn't really all that remarkable... (Columbus for the win.)
Pretty funny. Not super-hilarious, but, it was pretty funny. I like the rules, and Tallahassee's search for a Twinkie. Besides which, one of the most hilarious quotes ever; "Time to nut up or shut up." But it wasn't really all that remarkable... (Columbus for the win.)